Dear Revved Up Readers (and that includes you, too, Tommie fans),
Tomorrow is the bigga day. Boasting rights for a year, but also post-season ramifications, float in the outcome. I strove mightily to get this issue out yesterday, Thursday, and would have had nearly catastrophic technical problems not stopped me dead in my tracks. File corruption! Drat!! It took 40 minutes at the “Genius Bar” in the Mall of America Apple Store to break into the cruddy file containing the work of two previous days and save it in a fashion that it could be reconstructed. Last night this “Labor of Love” turned into a “Labor of Sincere Unaffection.” (Mom always said “hate” was a bad word.) Our thanks to Martha LeDuc, mother of Megan Wicker ‘03, for getting me a last-minute appointment at Apple.
Still, it’s the Johnnie-Tommie game and even the cyber-gods were to be thwarted…besides, there are too many good Tommie jokes here to be denied. Have a ball, Jays and Bees…but remember to be nice — With superiority and great giftedness comes responsibility, so don’t even think of saying, “Tommies suck” this weekend. (Even if it’s kinda true.)
There is a great deal of material here so I’ll get out of the way, except to say what most already know — and that is we’re in for a fine game tomorrow. The weather is said to improve and my guess we could have over 12,000+ people jammed in Clemens Stadium. Probably a couple thousand could be Tommie fans, so welcome them warmly. And, projecting the Benedictine Value of Hospitality, please refrain from asking them why only 3,600 fans turned out last week to O’Shaughnessy Stadium to watch a vastly improved Tommie team take on a fairly strong Concordia team — during the St. Thomas Homecoming, only filling 2/3 of the seats. Pathetic.
What do I think about the game? I think UST is a bit better on offense and SJU is a bit better on defense. And you know what “they” always say — that the defense wins games. Ergo: SJU in a nailbiter, by probably a fingernail, as in the Bethel game. Who knows? Maybe we’ll have more than 50,000 people watching a key play on Youtube again this week.
Enjoy the game, whether live, on the radio or over the Internet. Life is good, especially when you remember to yell: G O J O H N N I E S ! ! !
Best regards,
Bob Wicker SJP ‘60/SJU ‘64, St. Paul
theowick@aol.com; 651-699-4697
P.S. I call your attention, as I do most football issues, to the tailgate beyond the scoreboard. Everyone is welcome, including our Tommie guests. Don’t be shy, just come over, grab a burger, and talk to someone new…or bring your friends if you’re the shy type. Just below is a fine article written by Frank Rajkowski this morning; Frank covers SJU, CSB and the MIAC for the St. Cloud TImes. I hope that his story on the tailgaters will move more of you to join us.
* * * *
Their own team: SJU’s tailgaters
by Frank Rajkowski, St. Cloud Times
COLLEGEVILLE — In his courtroom, they call Scott County judge Mike Fahey “your honor.”
But around Collegeville, at least on St. John’s football Saturdays, he is known as “Johnnie Red,” or “the Godfather.”
Johnnie Red refers to the online handle that Fahey uses while discussing the Johnnies on the message boards atD3football.com, or on the fan Web site johnniefootball.com.
Godfather refers to his role in starting the tailgate party known as Stiftungsfestivities, which have preceded St. John’s home games (and even some on the road) since 2001, bringing Fahey and a band of other devoted Johnnies fans together with parents, former players and even fans of that week’s opposition.
The tailgaters will again be out in full force in the parking lot in front of the Science Center located just above the scoreboard and the south end zone of Clemens Stadium before the Johnnies — ranked No. 6 in the nation in Division III — take on archrival St. Thomas — ranked No. 15 — at 1 p.m. Saturday in Collegeville. (Read more)
* * * *
Just a couple words about the Hamline game.
First, it was pretty darn cold out there — game-time temperature was 34 degrees with a strong breeze making things feel even colder in what is still early-October. It was Hamline’s Homecoming, but a nowhere Piper crowd was on hand — of the 1,800 present, I’d bet 1,000 were Johnnies fans, students and parents.
A small but lively group of about 25-30 held the pregame celebration at Gabe’s Roadhouse near Hamline, and an even smaller group enjoyed the postgame analysis at O’Gara’s. The game was pretty one-sided as a 41-7 score might indicate, but two plays stand out in my mind. On our first offensive play after a 3 & Out for the Pipers, junior Jakob Reding ran something like 45 yards for an untouched TD. A bit later, still in the first quarter, junior QB Joe Boylethrew a 37-yard pass to sophomore Andrew Rotschafer, who, though covered, dove through the air at the back of the end zone and snagged Joe’s bullet one-handedly, tucking it in for a TD…that warmed up the crowd and certainly will find its way onto the 2009-10 highlights film.
* * * *
From Charley Walters’ column in the St. Paul Pioneer Press yesterday:
Two college football coaching legends will be in action Saturday when Joe Paterno’s Penn State team plays host to the Gophers and John Gagliardi’s St. John’s team plays host to St. Thomas.
Paterno’s team (5-1) is ranked No. 13 in Division I. Gagliardi’s team (6-0) is ranked No. 6 in Division III. St. Thomas (5-0) is ranked No. 15 in Division III.
Paterno, 82, has 388 victories in 44 seasons. Gagliardi, 82, the most-winning coach in college football history, has 467 victories in 61 seasons.
That’s 855 victories between them.
Gagliardi met Paterno last year at a coaches convention in Nashville, Tenn., where the two were saluted on stage with an ovation by thousands of their peers. Both had grandparents who came from the same area in southern Italy.
“The only difference is that Joe’s got a great head of hair, thick and very little gray,” Gagliardi said Wednesday. “I was astonished. He’s got different genes than I have, I guess.”
Gagliardi’s secret to success?
“No secret; you’ve got to have good ballplayers,” he said. “My whole life is dependent on one of my players doing something real good at the key moment to make me look good.”
Gagliardi, who turns 83 next month, a month before Paterno, remains as competitive as ever.
“I’ve been running scared all my life,” he said. “I always think of that saying, ‘A coward dies a thousand times and a hero but once,’ but I’ve died thousands of times.”
Gagliardi’s health?
“That’s the key to everything, isn’t it?” he said. “I can assure you that I don’t feel as good as I did 20 years ago, or 10. It doesn’t get any easier.”
Lastly, who makes more money, Paterno or Gagliardi?
“At last report,” Gagliardi said, “he made a few million more per season than I did,” John said.
OVERHEARD
Legendary St. John’s football coach John Gagliardi, who turns 83 next month, asked if he has any plans to retire: “I don’t have any plans, but don’t think that I don’t give it a lot of thought all the time.”
* * * *
Players on the Tommie Game —
“I can’t wait. This is going to be the matchup of a lifetime. I can’t stop thinking about it already. It’s going to be a great game. They’re a quality opponent and the rivalry between the two teams is just going to make it that much more special.”
— Junior outside linebacker John Stanton
“St. Thomas is always a big game, but this year, it’s going to be even bigger. We’re both coming in undefeated. It will be a great matchup.”
— Junior running back Jakob Reding
* * * *
‘Know Thine Enemy’ Department —
“Questions with Bob Sansevere,” sports columnist with the St. Paul Pioneer Press
When Glenn Caruso left his head coaching position at Macalester College to become the football coach at theUniversity of St. Thomas, he tool over a program that was coming off a 2-8 season. In just his second season at St. Thomas, Caruso has the Tommies at 4-0 overall, 3-0 in the MIAC, and ranked 15th in the nation in NCAA Division III. The Tommies have scored 27 touchdowns in four games — the second-most TDs in Division III. I talked to Caruso about the turnaround. (Read more)
(Editor’s Observation: Coach Caruso’s comments about UST’s location near a majority of the state’s top businesses being an easy sell for the school just confirms what we always knew anyway: that St. Thomas is just like theMinnesota Business Academy except it has a fancier address.)
* * * *
A University of St. Thomas grad walked into a Minneapolis Social Security office and up to the clerk sitting at the front desk. “I’d like to apply for Disability, please,” the Tommie said politely.
“What is your disability?” asked the clerk.
“I’m having trouble with my eyes,” he replied.
“What kind of eye trouble?” she inquired.
“I can’t see myself going to work.”
* * * *
2009 MIAC Standings
Through games of October 10, 2009
| Team | Conference W/L | Overall W/L |
|---|---|---|
| Saint John’s University | 4-0 | 6-0 |
| University of St. Thomas | 4-0 | 5-0 |
| Bethel University | 3-1 | 4-2 |
| Carleton College | 1-2 | 3-2 |
| Augsburg College | 1-2 | 2-3 |
| Gustavus Adolphus | 1-2 | 2-3 |
| St. Olaf College | 1-3 | 3-3 |
| Hamline University | 1-3 | 2-3 |
| Concordia College | 0-3 | 2-3 |
UPCOMING GAMES
October 17, 2009 – all at 1 PM
- Augsburg @ Concordia — It’s gotta be the Cobbers, right?…they can’t be an 0-4 team, can they?
- Carleton @ Gustavus — If I had to pick, I’d guess Carleton…except I love the Gusties’ stadium.
- Hamline @ Bethel — Hamline should get a bye…it’s been a long year and will get longer Saturday.
- St. Thomas @ Saint John’s — Will the Toms blow yet another one? Tradition says they could.
* * * *
From Dave Swanson [Honorary ‘65], Inver Grove Heights, MN, his own attempt at Tommie humor—
A professor at the University of St. Thomas was giving a lecture on paranormal phenomena. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?” About 25 students raise their hands.
“Well, that’s a good start…Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?” About 15 students raise their hands.
“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?” Seven students raise their hand.
“Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?” Three students raise their hands.
“That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?” Way in the back, a junior UST football player raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses, and says, “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”
The big Tommie lineman replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, “So, Phil, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?”
Our Tommy replied, “Ghost!?! Hell, from way back there I thought you said ‘Goats’!”
* * * *
MIAC Football Week Four: The Stage Gets Set on a Frigid Day
by Rich Mies SJP ‘76/UST ‘80, College Sporting News ‘Mapping the MIAC’ Columnist
After an unseasonably blustery day that started with snow on the ground and ended with forecasts of more in the offing, the title chase in the Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference heated up. Unbeaten co-leaders Saint John’s and St. Thomas posted solid wins, setting the stage for next Saturday’s showdown between the two rivals. SJU hammered Hamline, 41-7, while UST dispatched of Concordia, 31-17. Elsewhere in the conference, Bethel topped St. Olaf, 15-7, and Augsburg nipped Carleton, 31-28. Gustavus stepped out of league play and edged Pacific Lutheran 34-33. (Read more)
* * * *
There was this St. John’s grad who married the daughter of a St. Thomas alum. After twenty-five years the Tommie died. The Johnnie had the task of seeing to the funeral arrangements. In the funeral home, the director said, “I’m sorry your dear father-in-law passed away.”
“Thank you,” said the Johnnie. “It’s hard to believe he’s dead.”
The funeral director then asked, “Forgive me for asking, but would you like to choose a burial, embalming, or cremation?”
Our Johnnie replied, “I’m taking no chances. I’d like all three.”
* * * *
College football: SJU mutes Pipers in 41-7 win
by Frank Rajkowski, St. Cloud Times
ST. PAUL — On a chilly afternoon at Klas Field, it didn’t take the St. John’s offense long to get warmed up.
The Johnnies scored on their first three possessions, including twice on the first play of a drive, en route to beating Hamline 41-7 before a homecoming crowd of 1,748.
“Three straight touchdowns, that’s not a bad way to start,” said junior running back Jakob Reding, who got things going with a 45-yard touchdown run on his team’s first offensive play of the game. “Everything was going right for us. We ran the ball well. We hit a few passes. It was all working out.”
St. John’s remained undefeated (4-0 MIAC, 6-0 overall) heading into next Saturday’s key conference showdown with archrival St. Thomas (4-0, 5-0) at Clemens Stadium. The Johnnies are ranked No. 6 in the nation in both major Division III polls. (Read more)
* * * *
SJU college football: Offensive line happy … well, for the most part
by Frank Rajkowski, St. Cloud Times
COLLEGEVILLE — St. John’s senior tackle Drew Percival and his comrades on the Johnnies offensive line had plenty of reasons to feel good about their performance in Saturday afternoon’s 41-7 victory over Hamline.
And then there were places where they still want to see improvement.
The Johnnies rushed for 248 yards and five touchdowns as a team on a day when the chill and fierce breeze made passing the ball a bit trickier.
But St. John’s — which came into play having allowed an MIAC-most 13 sacks — also gave up three more against the Pipers, all of them coming in the first half. (Read more)
* * * *
St. John’s 41, Hamline 7
Scoring and Stats
[The St. Cloud Times]
* * * *
From Chris Kennedy, Honorary Johnnie, Chicago, writing of the Bethel ad other UUN reports —
Must have been a great game to be at. I used to see Puke and Snot at the Minnesota State Fair!
* * * *
From Max Stein ‘04, Twin Cities AND Naples, Florida, who took in the Tommie-Cobber game rather than our contest at Hamline —
Theo, It was terrific to see you and many others at Gabe’s before the game last Saturday. The scouting at UST was successful. This is the Tommies’ best team in many years (probably comparable to the early 00s with RB Jake Barkley, QB Nick Ambrasas, WR Andrew Hilliard, and the constant flow of Kaiser boys from Mora, MN). It should be a terrific game this weekend. My full report was posted on Monday morning at JohnnieFootball.com (where we received record hits nearly bringing our site to its knees)!! See you Saturday, you old dog.
Maxwell Stein
Official SW Florida Hurricane Correspondent of the Underground News
* * * *
From Bill Draves ‘64, Send Mas Aqua, AZ —
Wick, Thanks for sending me the link to “The Kick” earlier this week. It was awesome. I wondered how the score got to be 14 to 13 and missing the extra point must have been a crowd silencer. But the kicker did not have to wait too long to redeem himself which he did in record fashion. Go Johnnies! — Bill
(Editor’s Note: Wanna see it again? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zemXhIlLlfk)
[Mr.Shoes's Note: Embedded below, because that's why we're doing the web-based UUN]
* * * *
Gliadon’s kick for SJU made him a star
by Frank Rajkowski, St. Cloud Times
COLLEGEVILLE — Russell Gliadon has become something of an Internet sensation this week.
The video of the St. John’s senior kicker’s school-record 49-yard field goal with 2.8 seconds remaining to lift the Johnnies past Bethel 16-14 in last Saturday’s homecoming game at Clemens Stadium — and of the St. John’s student section storming the field afterward — has been posted on YouTube.
And as of early Thursday evening, the footage had generated 53,099 views. (Read more)
* * * *
From Frank Ziegler ‘62, Paynesville, MN —
Wick, It was interesting to note back in Underground #2 that Art Froehle [SJP '59/SJU '63] is a Gabriel Garcia Marquez fan and remembers fondly his summer (1965) in Bogota, Colombia. Your SJU classmate Peter Donohue['64] of the Bronx (then known as Pedro) and I were roommates in Bogota (and elsewhere, off and on) during our Peace Corps adventures in Colombia from ‘64 to ‘67.
One Sunday while climbing to our assigned locale in the Plaza de Santamaria for the fiesta brava we looked over and saw Art Froehle in the crowd and had a mini-reunion right there. It proves that Johnnies will always meet in the cheapest seats.
Through a friend I was able to obtain a signed copy of one of Garcia Marquez’ books which I treasure as only a literature major could.MORE IMPORTANTLY: I append an article from today’s St. Cloud Times which should be summarized in theUnderground News. And it points to a benefit dinner the night of Friday, October 30 in Waite Park. Let’s get a crowd to show up there!! — Frank
(Editor’s Comment: Good memories, Frank…and thanks for the article, which was also sent to me by Sr. Lois Wedl, OSB at St. Ben’s. It’s a wonderful story and deserves more than summarizing. It begins below with a link for the rest. It would be helpful if someone could send info on how we who can’t make the benefit can still send in a donation to help out this family; I’d run that info next issue.)
SJU student donates kidney to father
by Frank Rajkowski, St. Cloud Times
COLLEGEVILLE — The decision was scary. But for Travis Lewellyn, it was also the easiest choice he’s ever had to make.
Lewellyn’s father Jeff suffers from IgA nephropathy, a disease that hampers the kidneys’ ability to filter waste and excess water from the bloodstream.
Jeff Lewellyn had lived with the condition for 13 years, but in the past year and a half it began to worsen to the point that he needed a transplant or he was going to have to begin dialysis.
A number of family members and friends were tested as potential donors and Travis was the perfect match. So the sophomore backup defensive back on the St. John’s University football team decided to step away from the Johnnies in mid-season and donate a kidney to his ailing father. (Read more)
How members of the Johnnie Nation can help
A spaghetti dinner and a silent auction to help with Jeff Lewellyn’s medical costs will be 5-8 p.m. Oct. 30 at the Moose Lodge in Waite Park. Tickets will be sold at the door, $8 for adults and $4 for children under 10.
* * * *
From Terry Kotnour ‘64, our man in New Yawk City, who writes about attending his first Homecoming since he left:
How great was that??? It was like being 19 again, yelling for victory at a very exciting homecoming game. Looks like SJU has not lost its touch in terms of coming from the jaws of defeat to victory.
The campus looked great, much improved over the last 45 years, but still remnants of the past.
It was great visiting with John Wolkerstoffer ‘64 and Marilyn Pink ‘64 after all these years. I was finally driven to dig up that old photo of Marylin, Mark Sieve, John Goulet and Carol Hughes [all 1964] from 1960, the first ‘mixer’ I attended. No one has changed, except now we don’t smoke.
Had a chance to play golf on Monday, one of the few rainless days of my trip the Minnesota…that day and the SJU Homecoming…perfect timing. — Terry
(Editor’s Note to Missing ‘64 Classmates [and all Johnnie alums]: You can always come home, brothers.)
* * * *
From Thom Farnham ‘68, a friend and neighbor in St. Paul, who wrote: Bob, the item below made me think of the big game this weekend. I hope all is well with you. — thf
The Tommie with the Bad Headache
This University of St. Thomas grad of the 1980s had been plagued with a series of bad headaches; he looked up one of his UST classmates, an internist in St. Paul, to seek relief. The Tommie doctor knowingly said, “Joe, I’ve got good news for you…and bad news; the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, one that causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.”
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife because he knew a Tommie classmate would never do him wrong. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men’s clothing store and thought, “That’s what I need… A new suit.” He entered the shop and told the salesman, “I’d like a new suit.”
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, “Let’s see… size 44 long.”
Our Tommie laughed, “That’s right, how did you know?”
“Been in the business 60 years!” the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit; it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How about a new shirt?”
Joe thought for a moment and then said, “Sure.” The salesman eyed Joe and said, “Let’s see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.” Tommie Joe was surprised, “That’s right, how did you know?” “Been in the business 60 years,” came the reply.
Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. He walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, “How about some new underwear?” Joe thought for a moment and said, “Sure.”
The salesman said, “Let’s see… size 36.” Our Tommie laughed, “Ah ha! I got you! I’ve worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.’”
The salesman shook his head, “You can’t wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.”
* * * *
The ‘Stick Around, You’ll Get Your Answer Eventually’ Department —
From John Taylor ‘58, SJU Institutional Advancement, responding to Paul Hamann’s ‘63 query about who/what is NESCAC, the #1 Massey-rated football conference (with the WIAC and our MIAC ranked second and third.) —
(Ed’s Note: I’ve shortened some of this to get to our answer.)
Bob, Regarding the interesting piece from Paul Hamann…My son is a sophomore at Trinity. They won on Saturday. Here are some clips from their web site.
Hartford, Conn. – Junior Craig Drusbosky (Orange, Conn.) threw touchdown passes of 16 and 11 yards to classmate Michael Galligan (Shoreham, N.Y.) in the final 1:48 of the game to lead the Trinity College Bantams to a 26-21 victory over the Williams College Ephs in New England Small College Athletic Conference (NESCAC) football action this afternoon at Jessee/Miller Field. Trinity, ranked No. 1 in New England, improves to 2-0 with its 12th victory in a row, its third straight win against Williams, and its 32nd consecutive triumph at home. The Bantams remain flawless in its 32 games played on the artificial turf Jessee/Miller Field. Williams, ranked No. 5 in New England, falls to 11.
Trinity College student-athletes have not only gained recognition on the field but they do so in the classroom as well. 75 Bantams earned NESCAC All-Academic honors, eight were named to ESPN The Magazine Academic All-District Team, and two were selected as ESPN The Magazine Academic All-Americans in 2008-09. Six Trinity student-athletes were named President’s Fellows, three were Deans’ Scholars, 16 were inducted into Phi Beta Kappa, and one was awarded a postgraduate scholarship by the NCAA.
Trinity makes a big deal of not playing for a national crown in football…but then does in all the other sports. Could never figure that one out.
NESCAC=Northeast Small College Athletic Conference. The formation of NESCAC originated with an agreement amongAmherst College, Bowdoin College, Wesleyan University and Williams College first drafted in 1955. Along with these four institutions, Bates College, Colby College, Hamilton College, Middlebury College, Trinity Collegeand Tufts University are sustaining charter members. Connecticut College joined in 1982, bringing the Conference’s membership to its current total of 11 institutions. Hope this helps. — John
* * * *
Nutrition Bites
by Lindsay Good, RD, LD ’06
Five Fattening Fall Foods
Summer is the best time of year for fresh fruits and vegetables, but when the temperature starts to dip, many of us crave rich fall foods that are perfect for Johnnie football games, meals to eat while curled up in front of the fireplace, and if we aren’t careful, weight gain.
So what exactly are the diet-spoilers to watch out for this season? Here are five fall foods brought to you from WebMD that can really pack a caloric punch:
- Cream soups and hearty stews. Cream of baked potato and broccoli cheese soups and beef stroganoff may sound very enticing at this time of year, but these choices are loaded with calories and fat. Be sure to choose broth and vegetable based soups and stews to fill you up for fewer calories.
- Root vegetables. While many are super-nutritious, root vegetables can pack on the calories when you cream them, fry them, or mix them with cheese, cream, or butter. Save on calories by these veggies oven-roasted or grilled.
- Seasonal beverages. Hot drinks such as hot chocolate, pumpkin-spice lattes, eggnog, and apple cider are a quick and easy way to take in lots of extra calories. Try a hot cup of tea which is calorie-free.
- Apple, pecan, and sweet potato pies. These fall favorites do have some healthy ingredients such as nuts or fruits and vegetables, but they also include high-calorie ingredients. Pass on the crust, add a dollop of light whipped topping, and have only a sliver to still enjoy these desserts without the extra calories.
- Stuffing. There are so many versions of stuffing, most containing high-fat ingredients such as butter. You can make a low-fat stuffing using vegetables or fruit, and pass on the gravy.
To stay on track this fall season, be aware of portion sizes, enjoy these foods in moderation and choose lower calorie/fat options when possible.
* * * *
From C.J. Lyngen ‘92, Rogers, MN —
(Editor’s Preface: Recently Bill Cahoy ‘74, Dean of SJU’s School of Theology, was speaking on the pregame show before a St. John’s Football game and mentioned that one of his Theology program’s graduates “was the first Johnnie married to another Johnnie.” He was speaking, of course, of Trish Anderson Lyngen ‘92/SOT ‘99 who is married to C.J. The latter sent me a copy of some teasing emails that Bill and C.J. exchanged over the mention. I responded that it was the Late Great Rich Hall ‘63 who had introduced me to C.J. using that very line. C.J. wrote:)
Bob, Your email also triggered another memory of mine with Richie. He always told me he wanted to stand in front of the building at St. John’s that was named after him and have his picture taken: The Great Hall. Go Johnnies! — C.J.
* * * *
From Fr. Joe Gillespie OP ‘64, Big Al’s Church off Lake Street, Minneapolis —
Bob: thanks for passing on the information! I owe you free Bingo cards! Thanks for the SJU news and the Undergroundletter. Always an informative treat. I look forward to seeing you on Oct. 18th. I leave for Israel and Egypt on Oct. 19th, so it will be important to schedule a lunch upon my return (Nov.2nd). Peace, Joe
* *
Mass ‘n Brunch the morning after the Johnnie-Tommie Game —
Come to Big Al’s (aka St. Albert the Great, the eatingest parish in the Archdiocese):
Famous Fall Festival & Roast Beef Dinner, Sunday, Oct. 18 from 11 to 4; Great food: $10 adults/ $9 65+/$5 age 6-12/ younger free; vegetarian option & take-outs available; classic festival booths and raffles, plus a kids’ Creativity Area. BINGO from Noon to 4 pm; St. Albert the Great Catholic Church E. 29th St. at 32nd Ave. S. — accessible entry behind statue; call 612-724-3643 or visit www.SaintAlbertTheGreat.org for more info.
* * * *
This very inebriated St. Thomas student staggers out of a bar on Snelling Avenue and gets on a bus. Weaving up the aisle reeking of alcohol, the Tommie plops himself down next to an old lady who is wearing a cross and carrying a Bible. The disgusted woman looks our Tommie up and down and exclaims, “I’ve got news for you. You’re going straight to hell!”
“Oh, NO!!” yells the sloshed Tommie. “Driver, shtopp!!! I’m on the wrong bussch!”
* * * *
Joe Daly to receive Award during SJU-UST game —
At halftime of the Johnnie/Tommie football game this Saturday, there will be a presentation of the College Sporting News 2008-09 Male Senior Student Athlete Award to Joe Daly ‘09. This award recognizes four years of excellence on the playing field (the golf links in Joe’s case), outstanding achievement in academics and an active role in community service, both on campus and beyond.
Earlier Profiles of Excellence article on Joe:
[www.championshipsubdivisionnews.com]
Press release announcing the 2008-09 winners:
[www.championshipsubdivisionnews.com]
* * * *
The HR Director asked a new hire, a graduate of the University of St. Thomas, to report to his office: “What is the meaning of this? When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years of experience. Now we’ve discovered that this is the first job you’ve ever held.”
“Well,” explained the Tommie sheepishly, “… in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.”
* * * *
Forwarded by Ron Tomczik ‘65, Medicine Lake, MN —
Music in the Grove Series – St. John’s Abbey Schola in Concert
Date: October 30, 2009
Time: 6:30 p.m.You are invited to join us for an evening of song with the Abbey Schola from St. John’s University on Friday, October 30. The evening begins with a prayer ritual at 6:30, with a concert to follow at 7:30 p.m. There is no charge for this event; a free will offering will be accepted.
Following the concert, you are invited to join Fr. Robert Koopman, OSB, newly installed president at SJU, and the Schola members at a reception. We would love to host many Bennie and Johnnie alums and encourage you to bring a friend.
Music in the Grove is a concert series hosted by St. Joseph the Worker Catholic Church located at 7180 Hemlock Lane, Maple Grove.
For more information, you may contact Music in the Grove at 763-425-6505 x 512; or by email at musicinthegrove@sjtw.net.
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“Your Honor, I must be excused from this jury because I am prejudiced against the defendant.”
“How so?”
“I took one look at the man in his blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I said, ‘He’s a crook! He’s guilty, guilty, guilty!’ So, Your Honor, I can not possibly remain impartial.”
“Get back in the jury box. The man in the blue suit is the defendant’s attorney.”
* * * *
Blazers’ Big Win in Volleyball —
After suffering their first conference loss last Friday to St. Mary’s in a heart-breakingly lousy call/decision by the refs covering their own mistake and ending CSB’s 13-match winning streak, our #20-ranked Blazers defeated St. Thomas Wednesday evening, tying the #9-ranked Tommies for MIAC leadership. That victory ended the Tommettes’ winning streak over MIAC teams at 36. The Blazers next host Macalester on Friday. The Blazers are 5-1 in the MIAC, 19-5 overall [the Lady Toms are (5-1 MIAC, 17-5 overall]. GO BLAZERS!
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From Mike Hogan SJP ‘61, Omaha, a Creighton grad who still doesn’t like Tommies —
A drunk University of St. Thomas grad walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.
She jumped up and slapped him silly. The Tommie immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”
“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.
“Funny,” our Tommie muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”
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SJU in the News —
Fr. Robert Koopmann becomes SJU’s 12th president
by Dave Aeikens, St. Cloud Times
COLLEGEVILLE — The Rev. Robert Koopmann has been president at St. John’s University since July 1. On Thursday, (Oct. 1) the college community celebrated and made the designation official during the second presidential inauguration in the 152-year history of the school.
Koopmann, who is a St. John’s graduate, a monk, a music professor and an administrator, vowed as the 12th president to keep the university moving forward and to have St. John’s continue as a leader in the U.S. and world.
“We start with the best education we can possibly offer,” Koopmann said. (Read more)
* *
Sun-sourced power: St. John’s moves toward a greener future
By Kirsti Marohn, St. Cloud Times
COLLEGEVILLE — The first few metal posts sticking out of a field don’t look like much yet.
But in six weeks, this field surrounded by corn stalks will hold 1,820 black-paneled modules generating 400 kilowatts of sun-powered electricity for nearby St. John’s University.
Construction of the solar farm began this week after rain delayed work for a few days. The project’s leaders say they still expect it to be completed by November.
Despite its humble beginnings, the St. John’s project will dwarf other Midwestern solar farms and is expected to generate nationwide interest. (Read more)
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The “What’s It All About, Alfie” Department —
(Editor’s Explanation: The following is an excerpt from a weekly newsletter I receive, Spiritual Wealth, written by an investment guru named Alexander Green. In his piece last week, Mr. Green tells of the famous 72-year “P.T. Grant Study” from the Harvard Medical School that followed 268 men who entered college in the late 1930s through war, career, sickness, health, marriage, parenthood, grandparenthood and old age. They were studied over seven decades from every conceivable angle, including eating and drinking habits, exercise, mental and physical health, career changes, financial successes and setbacks, marital history, parenthood, grandparenthood and old age. Some were famous, some very successful and accomplished, some were failures, but after all the study, a professor — Dr. George Vaillant — who has dedicated his life’s work in following these men was able to condense all his findings about overall life satisfaction into one sentence: “That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.” Here is what Green writes in his column…)
The Grant Study confirms what the wisest among us have always known, that a successful life is not about the grim determination to get or have more. Nor is it about low cholesterol levels or intellectual brilliance or career accomplishments.
It’s about human connections: parents, siblings, spouses, children, friends, neighbors and mentors. Without them, life quickly loses its flavor, whatever material successes we enjoy. Lasting satisfaction is rare outside of meaningful, human relationships.
Look back at your life and you’ll almost certainly find that the most significant moments were births, deaths, weddings and celebrations. Your most profound moments? When you touched others… or they touched you.
In times of suffering – loss, sickness, death – it is not prescriptions, formulas, or advice we seek, but the healing presence of another. When we forget this – when we think only of ourselves – we choke the source of our development.
Real meaning comes from taking care of those you love, letting them know how you feel.
Fortunately, we have countless opportunities to give a bit of ourselves each day through a thoughtful act, a word of appreciation, or a sense of understanding.
As Dr. Vaillant concludes, true success “is more about us than me.”
* *
A Related “Alfie” Tidbit:
In his book “Love and Death,” the Rev. F. Forrester Church wrote: “The goal is to live in such a way that our lives will prove worth dying for. The one thing that can’t be taken from us, even by death, is the love we give away before we go.”
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More Scenes From Stearns County —
From Marilee Giere, a friend from St. Cecilia’s in St. Paul —
A father, who had been raised in Stearns County but had lived in Chicago for many years without returning to Minnesota, brought his teenaged son back to an uncle’s farm to take the lad hunting for his very first time. That first morning out in the field, the father placed his son under a large tree and told him, “Stay here and be VERY QUIET. I’ll be just over there in those woods.”
A few minutes later, the father heard a bloodcurdling scream and ran back to his son.
“What’s wrong?” the father asked. “I told you to be quiet.”
The son answered, “Look, I was quiet when that little snake slithered across my feet. I didn’t move a muscle when a squirrel climbed over my shoulder. I closed my eyes and held my breath when the wasp stung me. I didn’t cough when I swallowed the gnat. I didn’t cuss or scratch when the poison oak started itching. I was even quiet when a skunk breathed down my neck. But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and said, ‘Should we eat them here, or take them with us?’…Well, I just panicked!”
* * * *
Mathematics Majors’ Department —
(with a nod to the Underground’s resident humorologist, C.J. Ross ‘64, San Diego)
The math teacher posed this problem, “A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”
The savvy SJU student answered, “A lawyer!”
* * * *
Management Majors’ Department —
The American Corporation
Chief Executive Officer:
- Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
- Is more powerful than a locomotive.
- Is faster than a speeding bullet.
- Walks on water
- Talks with God.Chief Operating Officer:
- Leaps short buildings in a single bound.
- Is more powerful than a switch engine.
- Is faster than a speeding BB.
- Walks on water if the sea is calm.
- Talks with God if special request is approved.Executive Vice President:
- Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
- Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
- Can fire a speeding bullet.
- Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool.
- Is occasionally addressed by God.Senior Vice President:
- Barely clears a Quonset hut.
- Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive.
- Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury.
- Swims well.
- Talks to animals.Vice President:
- Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings.
- Is run over by a locomotive.
- Is not issued ammunition.
- Dog paddles.
- Talks to walls.Manager:
- Runs into buildings.
- Recognizes a locomotive two out of three times.
- Wets himself with a water pistol.
- Can’t stay afloat without a life preserver.
- Mumbles to himself.Engineer:
- Lifts buildings and walks under them.
- Kicks locomotives off the tracks.
- Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them.
- Freezes water with a single glance.
- *Is* God.
* * * *
Forwarded by Jerry Howard ‘56, St. Cloud, the UUN’s Stearns County Stringer —
St. Ben’s, St. John’s plan has St. Joseph officials concerned
by Jim Maurice, WJON.com
ST. JOSEPH/COLLEGEVILLE — The College of St. Benedict and St. John’s University have made a change that could have a huge economic impact on the city of St. Joseph and Collegeville Township.
They’re now requiring students to live on campus for four years, instead of just during their freshman and sophmore years.
Cynthia Smith-Strack is the Consulting Economic Director for St. Joseph. She says a recent study indicated the two schools have a combined impact of $16.6 million annually on the local economy. Once the system of virtually no students living off campus is fully implemented, businesses could lose $10.4 million every year.
So, she says St. Joseph needs to be prepared. The city may have to help landlords of current rental houses transition those homes into other uses. St. John’s already started the four-year residency requirement last year. They just completed an apartment building with 58-beds for juniors and seniors. They now have 80% of their students living on campus.
St. Ben’s will begin requiring all of their students to live on campus next fall. A 150 unit housing complex for juniors and seniors is under construction. It should be completed by August of 2012. The St. Joe EDA hosted a meeting last (Wednesday) night involving landlords, city officials, and representatives from both schools.
Meanwhile, the Dean of Students at the College of St. Benedict Jody Terhaar says she doesn’t believe the economic impact on the city will be as great as first thought.
She says they already have over 50% of their juniors and seniors living on campus. That number will eventually reach 95%. She says the new policy will reduce the number students living off campus by about 150 — not the 450 that was first feared.
Students have the option to petition to live off campus, which will be granted on a case-by-case basis.
(Editor’s Comment: Actually I have two comments: The first is I have no sympathy for many of the slumlords charging top dollar for absolute crapholes in St. Joe. Second, I’ve long thought that our young men and women who live off campus miss a great deal of what makes a St. John’s/St. Ben’s education such a life-enhancing opportunity — to live in close community and truly become one with each place: their traditions; living up close and personal with monks and sisters; experiencing the unique rhythms of both establishments; and developing closer relationships with far more students and faculty than one can while living off campus.)
* * * *
More Scenes From Stearns County —
Emil and Rosetta Bohnenstingel of Richmond had not been out together in quite some time. One Saturday, as Rosetta was finishing the dinner dishes, Emil stepped up behind her. “Would you like to go out, Old Girl?” he asked.
Not even turning around, Rosetta quickly replied, “Oh, yes, I’d love to!”
They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn’t until the next day that Emil confessed that his question had actually been directed to their dog, who’d been lying near Rosetta’s feet on the kitchen floor.
* * * *
Secret ‘Big Red’ Strategy Revealed —
From John Uldrich ‘60, Minneapolis —
If you been watching the SJU football carefully this season, since the first home game, two men (not wearing red) have been lingering near the end zone closest to the field house runway.
When the ‘Thundering Red Herd’ moves onto the field, these men have been surreptitiously dropping miniature seismic detectors to the ground attached to transmitters under their jackets. The impact data is sent in nanoseconds to the Scripps Institute in LaJolla where the world’s most sophisticated seismic computers are located…Repeat performance after the first half — all home games.
The long-held secret; when the ‘herd’ hits the end zone and then crosses the red zone, the field in that corner compresses an average of 0.33 inches and holds that ‘depression’ for some three hours due to the ‘times-four-traverse’. Kick-off or punt, this then is the true ‘coffin corner’.
No knows who the smart Johnnie in the Physics Department was that figured this out, but the ‘down-hill’ roll or ‘tumble’ usually is good for between 1/2 and 1 ‘downhill’ yard more. If you sometimes wonder at the logic of the coin toss – now you have some added insight. The ‘laugher’ part of the deal is that the opposition runs the same route but separated by time – adding to the ‘depressive action’ . . .
In a game of sometime inches, this is big stuff!
Everyone knows that the field is not lit and now you know it is not level and – why all the 250 lb+ guys are bunched up in the middle of the ‘herd’… coming and going.
John “Black Ops” Uldrich –‘60
P.S. Anyone sharing this with an ‘outsider’ may find themselves terminated with extreme prejudice.
* * * *
From David Sauer ‘61, Brookfield, WI —
Bob: John Uldrich, of SAINT JOHN’S RECORD fame, suggests I join the SJU Underground. What are the initiation rituals required?
(Editor’s Reply: Our rituals? At the Unofficial Underground News? Just your typical Catholic ones — send money.)
* * * *
A University of St. Thomas coed from one of the tony western suburbs of Minneapolis went on vacation this past summer to a dude ranch in Colorado. Much more at home at the mall, she nevertheless tagged on with some friends who convinced her to give it a try.
The first day there her pals talked our Tommette into going horseback riding with them. She reluctantly said she’d give it a try. At the stables, the cowboy preparing the horses asked her, “Do you want a Western saddle or an English saddle?”
“What’s the difference?” our USTer wanted to know.
“The Western saddle has a horn and the English saddle doesn’t.”
“The one without the horn will be fine,” replied the Tommie. “I don’t expect we’ll run into much traffic around here.”
* * * *
What’s Up in St. Cloud?
Item # 1 — St. Cloud police issued 224 citations in the south side during St. Cloud State University’shomecoming weekend. The 224 citations were issued for 251 violations committed from Thursday through Saturday.Stearns County Jail booked 26 people on a variety of charges in relation to the homecoming weekend special enforcement. Police cited 151 people for minor consumption and 45 people for having open containers of alcohol on public property.
(Editor’s Comment: Gee, why do so many minors get bombed at their Homecoming each year? I thought it was an alumni thing to do at SCSU.)
Item # 2 — St. Cloud won a bronze medal in an international competition for the most livable cities in the world. The award was announced earlier this week at the International Awards for Livable Communities in Pilsen, Czech Republic. St. Cloud got the bronze medal in the Whole City Awards for cities with a population of 20,001-75,000. (The city won two awards in 2007. It won the second of two gold medals given for cities with a population of 20,001-75,000 people and took home the prize for best efforts at planning.)
(Editor’s Comment: Huh? Apparently the awards committee discounted that ungodly mess of commercial sprawl, visual pollution, and stupifying traffic congestion on Division Street from Waite Park all the way into town. Everytime I’m near there I flash back to Dante’s Purgatorio. Congrats anyway to St. Cloud.)
* * * *
What’s Up With The Prep School? —
The Alum Association of Saint John’s Prep has announced that they will present long-time Prep Athletic Director and teacher, Pete Cheeley ‘76, with their highest award – the Armor of Light.
Please join us at the Legacy Dinner on Saturday, November 14th and join the Alumni/ae Association in honoring Pete with this esteemed award. Pete will join 40 others who have been honored with this award since 1977.
Save the date and register with Mary Ritter at 320-363-3317 or mritter@csbsju.edu. A suggested donation of $15 is appreciated for this formal dinner and dessert celebration of our Prep School donors and awardees.
Girls resident students moving to Saint John’s ‘10-11.
Re the SJP residency program: At the end of this school year, we will need to find a new home for our resident girls as the College of Saint Benedict needs to end our lease with Richarda Hall. It is part of their Master Plan to use that dorm as office space. Prep administrators are considering the following options:
Move the Prep boys to an open dormitory on the SJU campus [Ed: lots of luck there; are our old dorms in the garret of the Quadrangle still available?] and house the girls in the current boys’ dorm (Saint Michael Hall). OR…House both the girls and the boys at Saint Michael Hall with the appropriate security measures in place. [Ed: Oh, joy — teenage hormones...just how appropriate will be the security?]
Both of these options present financial opportunities and challenges and are being carefully weighed. The residency program is crucial to the sense of community and the niche of Saint John’s Preparatory School, so this issue will be resolved with the continuation of the residency program. However, discussions as to how best to accomplish this are being held currently, so pleasesend your feedback and questions to Headmaster, Fr. Tim Backous, at tbackous@csbsju.edu and stay tuned for updates!
Fr. Tim and Brenda Brown, Alum Director, are hosting a trip to the Holy Land over spring break, February 26 – March 7, 2010. Fr. Tim has been to the Holy Land several times and is looking forward to sharing this special place with our Prep alums and friends. Please contact Brenda at bbrown@csbsju.edu or 320-363-2098 if you are at all interested, as soon as possible. This group is limited to twenty Prep friends and alums, so let me know if you might like to join us. The itinerary includes in-depth visits to Galilee and all the famous sites; the Jordan River and Mount Tabor; Bethlehem and Jerusalem with all The Way of The Cross holy sites; and Bethany, Jericho, Mt. Temptation and the Dead Sea.
* * * *
The Last Word —
Mrs. Weinstein broke her ankle. After returning home, still in pain and discomfort, she summoned everyone to her darkened bedroom. She asked, “Are my sons here?” Paul and Saul answered, “Yes, mother.”
Mrs. Weinstein then asked, “Are my daughters here?” Rachel and Sarah dutifully replied, “Yes, mother.”
Mrs. Weinstein asked further, “Are all my grandchildren here?” The grandchildren responded, “Yes, grandmother.”
Mrs. Weinstein paused for a moment, then asked, “Are the rest of my relatives here?” All the relatives said, “Yes, were all here!”
So Mrs. Weinstein demanded, “Then why is the light on in the kitchen?”
* * * *
That’s it — LET’S PUT THE TOMMIES’ LIGHTS OUT TOMORROW. GO JOHNNIES!
