Dear Collegeville Campers —
It was a lovely Saturday up there next to the Lake Wobegon Trail overlooking the beautiful Sagatagan. First, the weatherman surprised everyone by giving us both a cloudless and warm day after predicting a cool, rainy one; and second, our Jays beat a solid, talented UW-Eau Claire team 35-27 for our second straight victory over a WIAC team. This before a crowd of over 8,000 most very pleased souls.
Of course, we gave up too many points. But we put up a bunch too. And our ground game was awesome (pun intended…you’ll see in a moment); we haven’t rushed for so many yards since we pounded Northwestern (MN) about five years ago…and they were a patsy team, nothing like a very good UWEC. The exciting part about it is that we used seven running backs to do it — ahhh, it’s so good to have depth there. I am particularly excited for and proud of my young friend from St. Cecilia’s Parish, Harry Awe, a sophomore playing as a frosh because of injuries last season. He came in after another frosh phenom, Steve Johnson, left the game in the first half with a sore foot. It seemed every time Harry touched the ball he gained 5 or 6 yards, including one for his first Johnnie TD. (Read Frank Rajkowski’s game stories down farther to see what a wonderful day all our backs had.) I also was very impressed with junior QB Joe Boyle. Compared to last year, when he was one of three auditioning for the top spot, Joe has shown leadership, poise and — most of all — competence back there.
The defense, however, is another tale. They’ve played good enough to win, but we’re all shaking our heads. Preseason they were picked to be one of the premier defenses in all of Division III, but these first two games sure don’t show that. The line isn’t yet able to rush the QBs like Johnnie defenses traditionally do and our secondary seems downright porous. There have been injuries back there and a bevy of new, untried, unseasoned kids being forced to pony up. Let’s hope the defensive braintrust of Jerry Haugen and Gary Fasching can come up with some new wrinkles before this Saturday’s very important MIAC start at Moorhead against Concordia. We in the stands wonder if an occasional blitz might not shake up the opposing quarterbacks, but we’ve been told that that’s not part of the overall SJU defensive scheme for a number of valid reasons.
This weekend we face a Cobbers team that is noted for running the ball on its opposition. Ramming it down their throats is more like it! If they don’t suddenly develop a potent passing attack, I still think our D-line and linebackers, with effort, can contain them. Otherwise it’s going to be a real test. How we do there will, at least in my mind, suggest what kind of a year we will have. You see, Concordia has jumped into the D3 Top 25 teams at #23 on the strength of their first two impressive wins, one over previously 8th-ranked Willamette (OR). The Cobbers knocked them plum out of the Top 25…man, those coaches and SIDs doing the ranking are tough! At the same time SJU jumped again in the Top 25, from #11 to #6. And St. Thomas — God bless their black little hearts — also crept up two spots to #18. So, for the first time I can recall, the MIAC has as many teams in the Top 25 as the WIAC:Whitewater #2; Stevens Point #17; and La Crosse #24. Had Bethel been able to knock off #4 Wheaton (and they almost did, dammit…they lost in the last second 29-26) we certainly would have had four in the Top 25. I tell ya…it’s going to be a circus in the MIAC this year, and we haven’t even figured in St. Olaf and Carleton yet, but they are also in this race. No wonder John’s getting gray, at least compared to Joe Paterno. (See: http://www.d3football.com/top25/2009/week-2)
I apologize for having to end things in this section so abruptly. I have to get out of town to visit with Mike Scherer‘68, Joe Mucha ‘66, Mike Zauhar, Sr. ‘73 and Perry Good (progenitor of Jason ‘06) over a discussion of whether it’s gonna be minnows or leeches or both. It’s a long story, which I hope to share with you next issue, but let’s just say that my whining for two years about this fishing trip apparently worked. I also just heard from Jeff Norman ‘78 who said he’s going to be in the area with Tony Biebel ‘71…maybe our baits will get tangled together somehow.
So, I’m not going up to Moorhead, but rather will listen intently to the Johnnie Radio Network. And next week let’s hope that I can more fully report on all the folks I ran into at the Eau Claire game, particularly my new BFFs, Ryan Heining ‘91 and C.J. Lyngen ‘92, who gifted me a bee-yoo-ti-ful new Johnnie Rat T-shirt, which I’ll wear poudly on Gull Lake tomorrow.
Respectfully, albeit hurriedly, submitted,
Bob Wicker SJP ‘60/SJU ‘64, St. Paul
theowick@aol.com; 6510699-4697
* * * *
Week One in the MIAC —
- Bethel @ Carleton — (Interesting game; toss up actually, but I’m hoping for a Carleton win)
- Gustavus @ Hamline — (Both teams are improved, but I think the Gusties have more horsepower)
- Saint John’s @ Concordia — (Always a tough game for SJU, especially up there in Spudville)
- St. Olaf @ St. Thomas — (Two teams bending the recruiting rules…This could be UST’s year)
* * * *
From Mark Selner SJP ‘68/UST ‘72, Shoreview — he’s the godfather of Olde Johnnie Ale —
Bob-there has been a packaging delay-this really upsets me!! And the Olde Johnnie 12pk bottles will not be available until after October 1st. We are going to do something with the beer the weekend of October 9th & 10th. MORE details to follow. — Mark
(Editor’s Comment: He’s upset!?! You should have heard me when I found that OJA is no longer on tap at the La Playette. Maybe when the bottles come out they’ll carry it again. The bartenders and waitresses say that it’s only us old farts (not their language, it’s mine) that order it, and then only during football season. At least the La still carries that dinosaur of a brand, Hamm’s, for Harry Burns ‘74/’78.)
* * * *
HEY! Classes of ‘04, ‘99, ‘94, ‘89, ‘84, ‘79, ‘74, ‘69, ‘64 and ‘59…
You’ve got a 5-year reunion THIS Homecoming, October 2-4. If you haven’t registered yet, go to http://www.sjualum.com/events/Pages/Homecoming.aspx. Also, if you can’t make it, don’t forget to make a contribution ASAP so it is counted toward your class’ 5-Year Gift total. Part of being a Johnnie is being grateful, practicing stewardship. If you thought going to St. John’s was expensive when you were there, “Baby, look at it now…” So call a friend or two and tell ‘em you’ll meet them there.)
* * * *
From Jim Seckinger ‘64, bowing out from our 45th reunion —
Bob, Had made plans to make the reunion. Then rec’d an assignment to be faculty for an Int’l Arbitration Advocacy Program in London, England for a major int’l law firm on oct 1-3, which is using my program design and materials. Sorry to miss seeing everyone.
I’m still full time faculty for Univ. of Notre Dame Law School. My area is litigation specializing in questioning techniques and other advocacy skills in the US, Canada, South America, Europe and Asia. I served as Director of the National Institute for Trial Advocacy NITA from 1979-1994 and faculty from 1973 to present. See FIAA for my recent focus.
Also designed and taught in first program for prosecutors war crimes tribunal for Rwanda in 1996 and the first program for prosecutors of special court for Sierra Leone in 2004.
You all have a good time at the reunion. I’ll catch up with folks next year. — Jim
(Editor’s Note: Our Class of 1964 has purported it self very well since graduation and, from Jim’s quick heads-up on his career, he is another for whom our class can be justifiably proud. It’s too bad he won’t be there to see Bob Spinner receive the Walter Reger Award for his outstanding contributions to SJU and his carrying of Johnnie values to the greater community. And Ken Roering who will receive our class’ Alumni Achievement Award for his notable contributions to education and business, not to mention SJU. Both of those guys, plus Fred Senn and Bill Kling currently are or have been on the Board of Regents.)
* * * *
Gagliardi too busy to live in the past
by Dave DeLand, St. Cloud Times Sports Editor
COLLEGEVILLE — The white-haired octogenarian in the St. John’s polo shirt directed his football team from the newly revamped Clemens Stadium press box on Saturday, which was something of a concession to convenience and comfort, functionality and self-preservation.
But even though John Gagliardi was conspicuously absent from the sideline, it didn’t take a lot of imagination to look out onto the same field and see him standing there.
Only this coach was a dark-haired 26-year-old in a suit and tie, directing a different game in a different era.
“If somebody had asked me back then if I could believe I’d still be doing this … ” Gagliardi said, his voice trailing off. (Read more)
* * * *
Deflect? Perfect for SJU
by Frank Rajkowski, St Cloud Times
Five hundred and ninety-nine games into his collegiate coaching career and John Gagliardi still seems to have a knack for getting the right players on the field at the right time.
It was just this past Monday when the St. John’s head coach called on little-used 6-foot-7 sophomore defensive lineman Jack Daggett at the team’s weekly film session and added him to the Johnnies’ defensive unit on extra points.
It proved a shrewd move as Daggett blocked a kick by Wisconsin-Eau Claire’s Spencer Jacobson to prevent the Blugolds from tying the score with 2:01 remaining and St. John’s held on for a 35-27 victory Saturday afternoon at a hot and humid Clemens Stadium. (Read more)
* * * *
SJU running game comes up big in win
by Frank Rajkowski, St Cloud Times
One of the top priorities around the football coaching office at St. John’s this past offseason was to increase the Johnnies’ depth at running back.
If Saturday afternoon’s 35-27 victory over Wisconsin-Eau Claire before a crowd of 8,679 at Clemens Stadium was any indication, that mission has been accomplished successfully.
Seven players carried the ball in all for St. John’s, which finished with 296 yards rushing — the highest total the Johnnies have recorded on the ground in a game since 2004.
“I think the coaches have gotten a lot more used to the amount of backs we have now and they’re trying to find a way to use all of us,” said freshman Harry Awe, who missed all of what would have been his first college season last year due to injury. “Last year, they didn’t worry a whole lot about rotating the running backs. This year, we have a lot more guys who can carry the ball.” (Read more)
* * * *
St. John’s football injury report
by Frank Rajkowski, St Cloud Times
* * * *
Scoring and Stats: St. John’s 35, UW-Eau Claire 27
* * * *
MIAC Football: Final Tune-Ups for Conference Play
by Rich Mies SJP ‘76/UST ‘80, College Sporting News ‘Mapping the MIAC’ Columnist
The Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference concluded its final week of non-conference games and posted a 5-3 record. Concordia, Saint John’s and St. Olaf improved to 2-0 on the year. The Cobbers routed Valley City State 43-28, the Johnnies held off UW-Eau Clare 35-27 and the Oles hammered Pacific Lutheran 46-7. Hamline kicked off 2009 with a 34-0 win over Martin Luther and Carleton opened its season with a 27-21 win over Cornell. Bethel lost to fifth ranked Wheaton on a touchdown as time expired, 29-26. Gustavus’ rally fell short as they were intercepted in the end zone with 0:09 to play and fell to Coe 27-24. Augsburg dropped a 34-21 decision at Wartburg. (Read more)
* * * *
Nutrition Bites
Lindsay (Novak) Good ‘06, RD, LD
The Secret to Eating More for Less: Food density
Did you know?
The portion (or amount) of food people eat daily tends to be more consistent than the total calories they eat. Therefore, if you are able to eat the same portion of food, but with fewer calories, you will lose weight and be satisfied at the same time! The secret to feeling satisfied on fewer calories lies in food density.Low-energy-dense foods
These foods provide a larger portion with fewer calories because they are “water-rich” and “fiber-rich”. Low-energy-dense foods include fruits, vegetables, cooked whole grains, and broth-based soups. The water content of food has the biggest impact on energy density because it can help to fill you up, but has no calories.High-energy-dense foods
These foods provide smaller portions with more calories and are typically high-fat and/or high-sugar foods such as fast food, processed snack foods, and desserts in general. Also, foods that are dry, such as dried fruit, tend to be high-energy-dense foods because they have very little water content. For example, 1/2 cup of raisins has 220 calories, while 1/2 cup of grapes has 55 calories.We expect that higher fat, higher sugar foods to be more filling, however, foods like cookies, cake, doughnuts and candy are actually among the least filling foods. You will be most satisfied from a meal or snack if you choose foods with more fiber and fluid, combined with a healthy balance of protein to help create a feeling of fullness.
Try this low-energy-dense dish:
EatingWell Taco Salad Ingredients: • 1/2 cup prepared salsa • 1/4 cup reduced-fat sour cream • 1 teaspoon canola oil • 1 medium onion, chopped • 3 cloves garlic, minced • 1 pound 93% lean ground beef or turkey • 2 large plum tomatoes, diced • 1 14-ounce can kidney beans, rinsed • 2 teaspoons ground cumin • 2 teaspoons chili powder • 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro • 8 cups shredded romaine lettuce • 1/2 cup shredded sharp Cheddar cheese Preparation: 1. Combine salsa and sour cream in a large bowl. 2. Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add onion and garlic and cook, stirring often, until softened, about 2 minutes. Add turkey and cook, stirring often and crumbling with a wooden spoon, until cooked through, about 5 minutes. Add tomatoes, beans, cumin and chili powder; cook, stirring, until the tomatoes begin to break down, 2 to 3 minutes. Remove from the heat, stir in cilantro and 1/4 cup of the salsa mixture. 3. Add lettuce to the remaining salsa mixture in the bowl; toss to coat. To serve, divide the lettuce among 4 plates, top with the turkey mixture and sprinkle with cheese. Nutrition per serving (1 cup filling, 2 cups lettuce each): 361 Calories 16 g Fat 6 g Sat 1 g Mono 86 mg Cholesterol 25 g Carbohydrates 33 g Protein 10 g Fiber 583 mg Sodium 718 mg Potassium
(Editor’s Comment: Lindsay’s husband of this past summer, Jason Good ‘06, is one lucky fella to be getting to eat all this delicious, yet healthy food.)
* * * *
Reader Responses to Issue #2 —
From Karin Wendt, wife of Dave ‘63, Edina, MN —
Bob, Fabulous! We’ll be up for Homecoming. — Karin
(and then Karin sent this:)
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, “Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?”
The little boy replied, “Sure! Just go straight down this street a couple blocks and turn to your right.”
The man thanked the boy kindly and said, “I’m the new pastor in town. I’d like for you to come to church on Sunday. I’ll show you how to get to Heaven.”
The little boy replied with a chuckle. “Awww, who are you kiddin’?…You don’t even know the way to the Post Office.”
* * * *
From Sister Lois Wedl OSB, St Benedict’s Monastery —
Thanks, dear Bob! I loved the part about your message going out to all the world…and the responses from the Gagliardi folks! I can see your face being purple. Take care. Hope the Johnnies get it all together so this season will be a fun one. — Lois
(Editor’s Reply: Sister Lois, my face was “Johnnie red”, not “Tommy purple.”)
* * * *
From Fred Cremer ‘67, Waynesville, North Carolina —
Bob, Mike Scherer sent me your address and said I could get on your mailing list if I contacted you. I would love to read your newsletter regularly. Thanks. Fred
(Editor’s Sudden Thought: I wonder if Mr. Scherer remembered to tell him how much the subscription is? Fred, by the way, is a retired English teacher and coach; he was an All-American OT in 1965 & 66.)
* * * *
Elementary Education Majors’ Department —
The teacher who caught the second grader said, “You shouldn’t use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?”
“My Daddy said it.”
“Well, that doesn’t matter. I don’t want to hear that language in here again.”
After a moment, she whispered aloud, “At least he doesn’t know what it means.”
The kid exclaimed, “I do too! It means the car won’t start.”
* * * *
From Pete Amann ‘90, Inver Grove Heights, MN —
Confirmation on the Mankato Area alumni event on the 24th: It will be held at RICHARD’S RESTAURANT & PUB, but yes, there is also a Patrick’s located a few blocks away. Thanks!
(Editor’s Affirmation: Gotcha, Pete. Everyone go to Richard’s, not Patrick’s, for the Mankato Area Alum kick-off event in St. Peter on Thursday, 9/24.)
* * * *
From Tom SJP ’66/SJU ’70, and Mary Weiss CSB ‘70, River Falls, WI —
Bob, An update on our son Tom ‘94. His injuries continue to heal, his spirits seem good, and has another surgery scheduled for 9/25 to fix the MCL and PCL in his right knee. As far as I know, that should be the end of surgeries?? We did get some kind of bad news last Friday, the 11th. One of the Hearing specialists does not think he will get back any hearing in his left ear so that may not be good news [for US Army career future]. I plan to go back to Fort Sam Houston on the 24th to be around for his surgery.
If anyone wants to send a card to him, his address is
Fisher House
Major Thomas Weiss, Room 402
3623 George C. Beach Road
Fort Sam Houston TX 78234-5000There is a place near the Fisher House that has provided the most incredible support for all soldiers and families. It was built and supplied totally by donations from supporters. Once this is all over, we plan to make a donation. It is called the Warrior Family Support Center and their address for donations is:
Returning Heroes Home
P.O. Box 202194
Dallas, TX. 75320-2194
Web: http://returningheroeshome.org/project/donate
* * * *
From Dick Jessen SJP ‘59/SJU ‘63, Foley, MN —
Hi, Bob. Recently I found my “long lost classmate,” Dr. Emile Nakhleh, Ph.D., ’63. He has retired as a 26-year prof at Mount St. Mary’s University in Maryland, and several years with the CIA, first as a Scholar-in-Residence and then as a full-time staffer where he directed the Political Islam Strategic Analysis Program at CIA. Recently he wrote a book titledA Necessary Engagement: Reinventing America’s Relations with the Muslim World (Princeton University Press, 2009). He retired to Albuquerque, New Mexico about three years ago. Now he’s traveling around the country speaking about his book. He’s planning on attending our 50th class reunion in 2013.
Emile was born and raised in Nazareth. At St John’s we used to tease him about being a Catholic Arab from Israel. These days that could probably start a war. He said his brother, Khalil, who taught at St. John’s for awhile, is back in the West Bank working on Palestinian human rights. I just bought Emile’s book and I’m hoping to find some answers in it. With his background, he should have some good ideas. I think it would be great if St. John’s invited him back to speak about his book and his ideas. — Dick
(Editor’s Note: Dick Jessen is an 8-year Johnnie and now a semi-retired district court judge. If anyone from SJU/CSB reads this and agrees that his classmate Emile Nakhleh would be a timely and important resource for our two schools, please contact Dick at jdgmental@cloudnet.com for more information on Emile. I wonder if Emile’s book is available at the SJU Bookstore?)
* * * *
Theology Majors’ Department (Part 1) —
Submitted by Mike Carr ‘77, Sartell, MN. Mike and son Charlie ‘03 are field announcers for the SJU football radio broadcasts —
Greetings for another season of Johnnie football. Here is one for the Underground if you wish. Hope to see you at Gustavus on Saturday (9/26). — Mike
* * * *
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee. The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”
The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”
The third Catholic gent says, “My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says ‘Your Eminence’.”
The fourth Catholic man chirps, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’.”
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, “Well?”
She replies, “I have a daughter. She is slim, tall and 38D-24-36. When she walks into a room, people say, ‘Oh, My God’.”
* * * *
From Bill Draves ‘64, Hot Place, AZ —
Bob, Great newsletter! Keep them coming … throughout the year! — AZ Billy D
(Editor’s Comment: Easy for him to say.)
* * * *
From Jeff Norman ‘78, New Brighton, MN —
Hi Bob, See you tomorrow at the [Eau Claire] game. I’m trying to get up in time for some tailgate fun. But I’ll be slowed down by four 9th graders. I’m bringing up Casey and 3 of his buddy’s. All 9th Graders — two good football players and two basketball players. Two of them have never been to SJU. One bought an SJU hat last year and is dying for an autograph from “Mr. Gagliardi” so I’ll see what I can do. (This should be a great recruiting trip for them). — Regards, Jeff
(Editor’s Comment: Congrats to Jeff for his patience, loyalty and far-sightedness. Hauling up younger kids to Collegeville puts SJU and our unique atmosphere and spirit in their minds for the long term…it’s an easier sell when the guys begin sorting out where they might like to go to school. Jeff’s son Casey has been coming up since he was very small; in fact, I’ve known him for five or six years now. He’s a great kid and would be a credit to St. John’s if he follows Jeff and his mother, Denise Wyttenbach ‘76, to St. John’s/St. Ben’s. Jeff, by the way, was an All-American quarterback for SJU in 1977, and All-Conference in 1976 and 1977. He is self-employed as a broker of retail/commerical display materials and furnishings in case anyone needs some help in that area. Contact jeffn@comcast.net)
* * * *
From Chris Kennedy, Chicago, an Honorary Johnnie via Marquette —
Another great edition! In the “Animal” video there appears to be two male students dressed up as females — a big blonde is very prominent. Their mothers should be proud too! I hope the Animal somehow gets to see that video — although mildly embarrassing. Imagine the memories it would bring back. A moment unknowingly captured on film then unearthed and seen over 30 years later– that would be totally wild! Sounds like I gotta get me some Rush River Beer! — Chris
(Editor’s Comment: Geez…what if really they were just large Bennies? Chris, you could get me in trouble. We’ll have to ask Todd Mueller to check this out.)
* * * *
The “Why We’ll Never Win” Department (Part 1) —
A man was sitting on the couch watching TV when he heard his wife’s voice from the kitchen: “What would you like for dinner, Love? Chicken, beef or lamb?”
He said, “Thank you, Honey. I’d like the chicken,” to which she replied, “Shut up…I was talking to the cat. You’re having soup.”
* * * *
From Jim Smith, SJU Basketball Coach —
Thanks for putting me on your email list [a couple of years ago]. You are unbelievable. You have gathered a wealth of information and it is fun to read and to also enjoy the jokes. Thanks a lot and keep it coming. — Jim
(Editor’s Note: Somewhere, waaay back in my email files, is a very nice note Jim sent earlier about SJU basketball. When I find it I’ll be sure to include it in an upcoming Underground. In the meantime, Jim, if you need any help from ‘coaches in the stands,’ be sure to call…as you saw in the last issue, I’m pretty good at it.)
* * * *
From Jim Conn ‘64, Alexandria, MN —
Hey Bob – Glad to see you back on the UUN circuit. I especially liked the one about you getting a personal remonstration from the Legend himself – it means that the influence and authority of your writings is being taken very seriously in high places. Just fortunate that you were named Johnnie of the Year a few years back – not certain of your chances if that selection were to be held today.
We’re planning for the Grand Opening, ribbon cutting and open house of the new VA CBOC (Community Based Outpatient Clinic) in Alexandria to be held at 9AM on Monday, October 5. As a vet myself and part owner of the clinic (we lease it to the VA), I’d like to extend a welcome to all of the Johnny vets in the area. It’s going to be a pretty big deal for Alexandria and will serve all of the vets in this area who currently drive to Fargo or St. Cloud for health care. Regards, Jim, 320.834.3040
* * * *
From Harry Burns SJP ‘74/SJU ‘78, St. Cloud —
A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door. It’s opened by a little ten-year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm.
The salesman asks, “Hello son. Is your mom or dad home?”
The little boy answers, “What the hell do you think?”
* * * *
From Joel Schou (as in Skow) ‘03, webmaster of JohnnieFootball.com —
Thanks, Theo. Have you see the UUN on JF.com yet? Have I been doing an OK job of translating to the web-based format? — joel.
(Editor’s Reply: Yes, Laddie…you’re doing a helluva job. Check it out at www.JohnnieFootball.com)
* * * *
Gleaned From Fr. Don’s September e-letter —
Some information (edited) on enrollment:
“CSB and SJU together enrolled 3,935 students, which marked the 4th straight year total combined undergraduate enrollment has exceeded 3,900 students. CSB’s enrollment is 2,058, its second-highest enrollment; SJU has an enrollment of 1,877. New student enrollment totaled 551 at CSB and 461 at SJU. It is the fourth time in five years that first-year enrollment has surpassed 1,000 students. The academic profile (GPA, ACT score and class standing) of the new class is nearly identical to last year and is more racially and ethnically diverse. American students of color made up 6.7 % of the overall student population and 9.9 %of the new entering class; both are high water marks for the schools. International students made up 6.2 % of the overall student population and 7.2 percent of the new entering class; both marks are the highest in school history. Retention of students from the 1st year to the 2nd year totaled 89 %, a rate that continues to rank among the highest in the country.”* *
Vande Hei Becomes Astronaut Candidate
NASA Has Selected Mark Vande Hei ‘89 for the 2009 Astronaut Candidate Class. Mark was one of nine selected from over 3,500 applicants. He will begin training in Aug. at NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston. According to NASA, the new astronaut candidates likely will train only to fly aboard the space station, Russian Soyuz vehicles, and NASA’s shuttle replacement, the Orion Crew Exploration Vehicle. That will include flights designed to carry people to orbit and back to the moon by 2020.
* *
I lunched with John Gagliardi one day and he mentioned that a reporter recently had asked him what he thought about some commercial football player getting 12 million a year. John’s response was something to the effect that for 12 million a year he would even coach St. Thomas football!
(Editor’s Note: Want Fr. Don’s letter? Contact dtalafous@csbsju.edu. It’s FREE!)
* * * *
From Chris Gillespie, St. Paul, mother of Janel Scholl Lewandowski ‘97 —
The wayward Catholic guy goes into the confessional box after years away from the Church. There’s a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in. “Father, forgive me, for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.”
The priest replies “Get out! You’re on my side.”
* * * *
From Jim Herickhoff ‘64, Fort Collins, CO —
Bob: Thanks once again for your work with the UUN. I noted the goof-up re: the Legend and it brought to mind something an old coach told me in the Fall of 1965, when I had my first coaching position. Some of this sounds like Yogi Berra, but it wasn’t him. While this may not be exactly 100% what he said, it’s real close.
“Coaching is just like teaching – but it’s a helluva lot different. In coaching you have your performance review in front of thousands of fans every week; in the classroom, you probably never get one. Everybody in the stands is an expert because they once played the sport — maybe in elementary or junior high — but they sure as hell know the game. Who the hell comes to see an algebra or english exam — nobody will pay a cent for that. Besides, who’s an expert in those anyway. The coaches, if they are worth a damn, should have every player playing as well “as I played when I was playing”, and “why don’t the coaches run the play that always worked when I was in high school?” No parent or fan brags about how he aced the differential equations exam, even though these equations haven’t changed in 500 years. Variation in quality of players, injuries, competition all doesn’t matter. To 95% of the fans, if you win, it was a great game regardless of how the team played. If you lose by one point, nothing was done right and you’re a coaching bum. So, you prepare like hell, give it all you got, and hope it doesn’t rain.”
End of Coaching Philosophy 101! — Jim
* * * *
A specially-edited bonus joke from Harry Burns —
A man lay on his deathbed, and gestured his wife to come over to him. “I want you to do something for me,” he said.
“Of course,” she replied.
“Six months after I die, I want you to marry Bob.”
“But I thought you hated Bob.”
“I do.”
(Editor’s Comment: I’m not sure I like the way Harry edited this one.)
* * * *
The “Why We’ll Never Win” Department (Part 2) —
A man is a person who, if a woman says, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself,” lets her.
A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself,” and he lets her, gets mad.
A man is a person who, if a woman says to him, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself,” and he lets her and she get mad, says, “Now what are you mad about?”
A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself,” and he lets her and she get mad, and he says, “Now what are you mad about?” says, “If you don’t know I’m not going to tell you.”
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From Dan McDermott ‘84, Plymouth, MN —
Bob – found this note I sent you back in January and thought you might be able to use it as “filler” for your early-season editions! — Dan
(Editor’s Note: Thanks, Dan, for your persistence, follow-up and good e-filing. Dan forwarded St. Cloud Times’ Sport Editor Dave DeLand’s column on John Gagliardi.)
Gagliardi’s one-liner makes an S.I. splash
Flipped open the new Sports Illustrated the other day, and I’ll be damned if the guy pictured in the right column on Page 16 doesn’t look a lot like John Gagliardi.
That’s because it is. The venerable St. John’s football coach — resplendent in his blazing red SJU cap and jacket — is the star of the Jan. 26 issue’s “They Said It” feature, which highlights the week’s most amusing quote from the world of sports. The full text:
John Gagliardi, St. John’s football coach, 82, on his job security after 56 years at the Division III Benedictine school: “The monks give me a lifetime contract. But if we start losing games, they can give me the last sacraments and declare me dead.”
It’s a good line. Folks who attend the Johnnies’ annual kickoff luncheon or catch one of Gagliardi’s talks might have heard a variation of this a time or two. Or 10.
But at the American Football Coaches Association awards banquet Jan. 13 at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville, Tenn., it was brand-new material.
“Boy, I had a good audience down there at the coaches convention,” said Gagliardi, who was the keynote speaker after receiving the Amos Alonzo Stagg Award for lifetime achievement.
“The big-name coaches in the AFCA go to their coaches convention,” said St. John’s athletic director Tom Stock, who was part of the crowd. “There’s 5,500 people there. Then to see John up there getting their top honor … it was something.”
As far as Gagliardi was concerned, it was something all right — something of a storytelling opportunity.
“I had a great chance to have a new audience and throw out the same old lines,” he said. “I didn’t use them all, but I got a lot of them in there.”
But the best thing about all of this really isn’t the “They Said It” line itself. Rather, it’s the Gagliardi phenomenon: Something that’s different and refreshing and totally unique in college football — and it’s ours, right here in Minnesota.
It illustrates that this, like the other truly special things in our lives, is something we shouldn’t take for granted, something we should savor, something we should appreciate every step of the way. This will not happen again — anywhere.
“He is such an icon, and I know Central Minnesota is proud of him. But among his peers, he’s bigger than life,” Stock said. “He’s like a lightning rod. It really told me how great he is within his profession.
“We’re not going to replace John Gagliardi. When he says he has another 10 or 20 years of coaching in him … we hope he has another 10 or 20 years of coaching in him.”
Even at age 82 (you can do the math on that “another 10 or 20 years of coaching” thing), Gagliardi seems more than happy to continue with his lifelong avocation.
“What he has found, is coaching football and mentoring young men is where his real passion is,” Stock said. “I think he’d rather spend his time doing that than anything else.”
And, if along the way it gives Gagliardi a platform, a podium, an opportunity to tell some stories and make some friends, then all the better.
The highlight of the AFCA convention for Gagliardi was his first chance to talk with Penn State’s Joe Paterno, who is probably the only head coach in college football older than Gagliardi (by exactly 50 days).
“All I could think of is, ‘That damn Joe Paterno’s got a great head of hair’,” Gagliardi said. “In our little chit-chat, we found out our parents are from the same county (Calabria) in southern Italy. Heck, we might be related.”
Like Paterno, Gagliardi has no plans to quit coaching — or talking.
“I was amazed. I hated to stop,” he said of the reception to his AFCA speech. “These guys were rolling in the aisles. It’s amazing: Some of the old stories I was telling, they must not have ever heard.
“The Lord’s gotta inspire me. If you keep giving me the same audience, I can’t get by with it. But they keep moving it around.”
“He’s an aberration,” Stock said. “There’ll never be another. I just feel fortunate every day that I can witness this guy, and hopefully a little rubs off on the department.”
Obviously, a little rubbed off in Nashville.
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Theology Majors’ Department (Part 2) —
A tribe of cannibals captured a priest who had been sent to them as a missionary and ate him. He was very tender and quite tasty, yet they were all violently ill afterwards.
The moral of this story: “You can’t keep a good man down.”
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From the Underground’s Roving Correspondent Al Eisele ‘58, Falls Church, VA —
Hi! I thought you might like to check out this site:
[MinnPost.com]Great job on the newsletter. You’re a hell of a reporter to get all those names right. Thought you’d like to see the genesis of the Strib profile of Denis McDonough [‘92]; the reporter called me for his number after I wrote this in the MinnPost in March, and a longer interview with him in the winter issue of the St. John’s magazine. Keep up the good work. — Al
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Religious Life Quickies (a continuing series) —
Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening. Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent. Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.
Quickly, she wrote, “Don’t despair. Sister Barbara,” on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man’s attention and tossed it out the window to him. The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.
The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at the convent door, insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“That’s the $8,000 you have coming Sister,” he replied. “Don’t Despair paid
80-to-1.”
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On Making A Johnnie Difference
(Subtitled “The Birth of a JOHNNIE!“) —
(Editor’s Preface: Our friend C.J. Lyngen ‘92 passed on the following to me yesterday. His email included three parts — his explanatory note; an email to him from our new prez, Fr. Bob Koopmann OSB; and a class paper written by a new freshman.
Bob, Great seeing you last week at the game and at all the hoopla that surrounds it; each game is more fun for me – connecting with new Johnnies of all eras all day long.
This past August I had the opportunity to address the incoming Freshman Class at the SJU President’s Dinner. Below is a nice note from Fr. Bob, but more importantly a VERY impressive response from a freshman from my 2 minute speech. It is hard to send on a note about yourself out to folks, but that train left the station this morning around 7 a.m. courtesy of the Institutional Advancement office, which is great. The story below is how all of us can impact all Johnnies everywhere, not just at a formal gathering with the institution but at any SJU function. Thanks for all you do for St. John’s, Bob. Attached is a copy of my short talk. — C.J.
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From: Koopmann, Robert [RKoopmann@csbsju.edu]
Dear C.J.-
Your brief talk to the freshmen at the president’s banquet made a deep impression on at least one of the students. His instructor sent me his paper. You should know that your enthusiasm and love of SJU made a big difference in David’s life!It was good to see you at the game on Saturday. Thanks for your dedication to SJU. You ARE making a big difference! — Fr. Bob
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(Name withheld), First Year Seminar, Professor —, Autobiography
President’s Dinner
On the night of August 25th, 2009 I was scurrying around my recent home, which is of course Tommy 3, asking all my new neighbors who had an extra set of what I like to call “fancy clothes.” For people who don’t know what I am referencing to when I say the word fancy clothes, I am referring to nice black pin striped dress slacks, an elegant neutral red or blue collared shirt with a unique and stylish tie. While I was panicking of what I was going to where to this very critical dinner, I thought to myself why do I even have to go to this stupid dinner? I’d rather being doing something else; even reading a book, which is saying a lot for me. But as I was walking down the hall asking my new brothers for some fancy clothes, I saw everyone getting all dressed up and I could smell the different colognes from each room in the hall and as I was witnessing this I was bombarded with some many different people offering me their extra clothes it was mind-boggling. So as I was getting dressed for the big night my whole outlook on the upcoming night changed and it hit me as to what I was getting myself into. As I was thinking about it, I was kind of nervous but excited at the same time for what was going to happen that night.
So as all of us freshman guys waited in a massive line baking in the sun, walking into the Guild [Hall] together as one big brotherhood I got such a bizarre but cool feeling in my stomach, one that I have never had before ever in my entire life. Then it happened; I walked into a dinner that was going to change my life, views, and ideas.
Just for a brief background, when I was getting ready to go to college I kind of didn’t want to leave my home, friends and the place where I called home my whole life, Maple Grove. My whole life was there and all my amazing memories that I had created throughout my childhood into adulthood, so imagine me walking into this huge arena filled with energetic and lively people telling me I made a choice that will affect my whole life, exactly I didn’t really like the whole idea. But as I was entering the Guild I started to ease into the whole situation and started to open my mind to what I was going to hear.
So let’s get to the good stuff. After going through the whole entering stage we all got to feast on some good grub, which was by the way my favorite dinner choice, Chicken Kiev. The aroma from the food was unbelievable it was like I was in a five-star restaurant. But as dinner was ending and the small talk between us guys quieted down, it was so quiet you could hear a pin hit the floor, so we prepared ourselves for an important lecture. A very confident and strong looking man wearing a red vest took the podium. As he stood in front of all of us young freshman the first thing he said to all of us was ‘Congratulations, boys.’ Which was shocking to me and the majority of us sitting in the gymnasium, because we didn’t even know what we had done to deserve a congratulations from a man of that stature this soon into college. As he preached to us, the point that he made that stayed with me and made me change the way I view myself, and changed my idea and thoughts of the whole college thing, was what he called being a “Johnnie” and a thing called the “Johnnie Way.”
The way he spoke about what and who a Johnnie is hit me so hard, it made me realize I was not the average college student. I was a Johnnie! As he spoke about what a Johnnie is, he spoke with so much compassion, authority, confidence and assertiveness it was shocking to me. It made me become conscious of how a Johnnie was to act and that the old high school Dave was out the window and the new Dave was here, and now proud to be a Johnnie. It made me change the old view of myself as a person, individual, and member of society to be a person of importance and reason.
The second thing that stuck with me was the statement he made about the Johnnie Way. It involved holding the door for others, doing things out of kindness, thinking of others before yourself, and overall being a sociable gentleman. It made me understand that not only was I going to get an amazing education but also I would learn how to be a man who can go far in the real world by the learning the little but big things from being a Johnnie. While I was thinking about this whole Johnnie way as he was speaking about it, it made me realize that I made the right choice of coming to St. John’s. Being a Johnnie gives me a sense of belonging to an amazing community full of fellow Johnnies, a sensation that I never felt I had when I was in high school. I know that every fellow Johnnie brother that is on my floor will always be there me no matter what the situation involves. It was comforting to know that I was now in such a strong, great morally based community.
After the speech as we left the Guild from the president’s dinner I began to notice how a Johnnie acted and witnessing firsthand the Johnnie Way from my fellow Johnnies. And as I went home that night I went to bed thinking about what being a Johnnie means to me personally. As I was pondering about it, I realized how that one encounter with that speaker changed my entire view on myself and how I was part of a spectacular community of people, and lastly allowed me to consider somebody else’s point of view rather than always going off of my own point of view. I can truly call myself a Johnnie and be proud of it because as I see in so many other Johnnies they are proud of who they are and who they have become from attending St. John’s and I know to can say and feel the same way as them.
So as I look back on the night till this day even though its only been about two weeks I see it as a big milestone in my life and I am proud of myself for attending the dinner and going into with an open mind for what I was going to hear. And after attending the dinner I can’t wait to see how the next four years of my experience at college and my life pan out and if I stay with the Johnnie Way and be able to call myself a true Johnnie after I graduate. Another exiting point about this whole experience is how I will be able to tell my future co-workers how being a Johnnie and being involved with the Johnnie community has made me who I am today and why it gave me the attitude and view I have of myself.
So thank you St. John’s for all the memories I have thus far and the ones still to come!
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A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who the hell was that?”
“Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress…”
“Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough. I want a divorce!”
“I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more BMW in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.”
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. “Who’s that woman with Sam?” asks the wife.
“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.
“Ours is prettier,” she replies.
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The “Why We’ll Never Win” Department (Part 3) —
From Al Richie SJP ‘60/UST ‘64, Wayzata, MN —
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, I bet you couldn’t tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.”
She replied. “You have the biggest penis of all your friends.”
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That’s all, folks. Ciao for now, Amigos. Cheer hard for our boys…this is a big ‘un. GO JOHNNIES!