JohnnieFootball

Dear Friends,

It’s hard to believe (a) that SJU football begins this Saturday, and (b) that I’ve let this long go by without getting out the first of this year’s version of Unauthorized Unofficial Undergound News. Because I’m busy, info for the game is needed ASAP, and also because sloth has edged out avarice and lust as my most favored Deadly Sin, this will be necessarily short.

We’ll start with the bare essentials and then work from there until I leave for lunch with Al Richie SJP ‘60/UST ‘64 and his second cousin Mike Ricci ‘62, something the three of us have enjoyed every two or three months since Al’s mom’s funeral about three years ago. The outings can best be described lately as “Adventures in Eye-talian Eating.” Today we go to the newly re-opened Yarusso’s on St. Paul’s East Side. Last time we discovered by accident DeGidio’s on W. 7th when we learned that Mancini’s isn’t open for lunch.

Okay. This Saturday, September 5, we meet UW-River Falls in River Falls, WI at 1 pm. For many Twin Citians it’s probably a closer drive than up to Collegeville and the weather should be just grand, so I’m hopeful we’ll fill up the Falcons’ stadium with Johnnie Red garb. I haven’t had the time to read up on our prospects via the repeatedly excellent insights/reporting of the newly-wed Frank Rajkowski, writing for the St. Cloud Times or even our rabid friends of JohnnieFootball.com, so I’ll fall back on what I hold as past common wisdom, to wit — the Falcons are usually middle of the road in the very tough Wisconsin Intercollegiate Athletic Conference, deservedly named one of strongest in Division III. Our next game, on September 12 at St. John’s, will be against UW-Eau Claire, a notch or two (or even three some years) above River Falls. UW-EC beats us on occasion; UW-RF does not…yet anyway, although they led us 10 to zip at halftime two years ago and scared the bejeezus out of everyone wearing red. We pulled it out the second half with 21 unanswered points after adjustments and perhaps Gag “explaining the matter” to our guys. Because this will be our first game, and because of our lack of contact by primarily the offense, we always seem to play tentatively the first game of the season and, so, like John Gagliardi, I’m always a bit squeamish about our prospects. Guardedly optimistic and forever hopeful, but certainly not cocksure, I’ll pull a score out of my posterior regions and wishfully say 28-6, SJU. Be sure to check www.JohnnieFootball.com and see what those guys are saying a day or two before the game.

By the way, this year the JF.com crowd will be posting the Underground on their very nice site (with thanks to webmaster Joel Schou ‘03 [as in skow]), so any of you who would like to view the UUN with vastly improved graphics are urged to bookmark JF.com and in the future at some point when you receive word from me, check it out there. In the meantime I’ll keep sending the entire newsletter out the traditional, low-tech way.

Getting back to River Falls, what I recall of our ultimately pleasant excursion to western Wisconsin two years ago, not necessarily in this order, are the parking fees of 2 or 3 bucks charged us by UW-RF (I understand parking is free for all other games); the premium charged at the ticket office for the game — the usual charge being $5 and for that game only it was $7 (or something like that); and the absolutely delightful pre- and apres game party hosted by Tom SJP ‘66/SJU ‘70 and Mary ‘70 Weiss. They live in River Falls, Tom works at the University and is also a deacon assisting at the campus Newman Center.

I heard from Tom late last week where he wrote that unfortunately they will not be able to entertain us again this year due to a family emergency: their son, Tom, Jr. ‘94, suffered serious injuries in Iraq. Here’s Tom’s note:

Bob, We will not be hosting a party for the UWRF – SJU game next week. Our oldest son Tom II (SJU’94), a Major in the Army, was seriously injured in an accident in Iraq on July 27th! A badly broken leg, 3 skull fractures, a crack in the C-3 vertebrae, a totally dislocated right knee, a moderate Traumatic Brain Injury and loss of hearing in his left ear!!!

Mary and I flew to Fort Sam Houston TX immediately to be with him and a few days ago I flew back, after he was discharged from Brooke Army Medical Center to the Fisher house, a sort of halfway house for wounded warriors. Mary stayed with him and will until he is released back to work. He has had 4 surgeries so far and one more on his left knee is tentatively scheduled for 25 September. And of course more rehab after that!! It could take another 3 months or more!

So…………… No party, but I will be at the game and hope to see all of you then!!

and then Tom added later:

There is a bar downtown called Bo’s and Mine, they serve Rush River Beer on tap and I think it is an outstanding local brew! If you like I will contact them and arrange for a section for Bloody Marys at about 11AM and then again for supper around 4pm??

Well, now…that sounds pretty good to me, at least for a brief time before the game; then I’d like to show up at Mike Fahey’s ‘75 traveling tailgate show, the one and only Stiftungsfestivities, found somewhere in the stadium parking lot, typically beginning qbout 10 am. Look for a bunch of red-clad Jays and Bees gathered around some charcoal grills. Everyone is invited and I urge newcomers and congenitally shy alums/guests to sample Mike’s Stiftungsfest burgers…a free will offering is appreciated but Mike says it’s not mandatory. (Here’s a bit about Mike and the tailgates)

And everyone’s invited to sample the wares at Bo’s and Mine before and after as well. I hope to see many of you at either the game/tailgate or at the bar. Johnnie Up, everyone.

In the meantime, our best wishes, thoughts and prayers for a quick recovery to Tom, Jr. It’s news like this that reminds us what’s really important in life. Tom’s entire Johnnie/Bennie family is with him in his long path back to health.

Speaking earlier of the good Judge Fahey, here’s his annual poesy paean to celebrate the Jays’ new season and, we trust, continued winning ways:

2009 – As Always, The Johnnies Will Shine!

The Stiftungsfest, Minnesota’s oldest celebration, starting in 1861;
a tradition of fun, music and food, tomorrow, 8/28, it will begin.

Another tradition, Minnesota’s oldest coach, starting at SJU in 1953;
John Gagliardi, the most wins and years of coaching, on 9/5 we will see-

The Johnnies run on the field in River Falls to start the season of 2009;
returning home the following Saturday with Eau Claire, the Wisc schools will cry!

We lose to the Johnnies again and again, why can’t we be like Whitewater in 2008?
Cry again this year cheeseheads, losing the games and Brett Favre, it is your fate.

On to the MIAC, parity like last year into the final weeks or a team with losses of zero?
UST, Concordia and Carleton tied for second in `08; again in `09, no #1 heroes.

Number one will be the Johnnies with the goal of no losses for the season prior to `10;
the best and most fans in D3, the Stiftungsfestivities, and the J-Club, celebrating 5 x 10.

50 years of the alumni lettermen’s club at SJU, supporting the Johnnies since 1959;
add the addition to the press box at Clemens stadium and the field continues to shine.

Radiance when the Johnnies run onto the field this fall, begin the season of 2009.
A team of winners, a coach with more record wins, another MIAC crown, SJU shines.

By Mike Fahey, aka Johnnie Red

(Editor’s Comment: Touching, ain’t it?)

* * * *

Here’s the 2009 SJU Football Schedule for planning your fall; all games begin at 1 pm; home games in bold face:

1. Sept. 5 — UW-River Falls at River Falls, WI
2. Sept. 12 — UW-Eau Claire at Collegeville
3. Sept. 19 — Concordia at Moorhead
4. Sept. 26 — Gustavus Adolphus at St. Peter
5. Oct. 3 — Bethel (Homecoming) at Collegeville
6. Oct. 10 — Hamline at St. Paul
7. Oct. 17 — St. Thomas (Booo!) at Collegeville
8. Oct. 24 — St. Olaf (Family Weekend) at Collegeville
9. Nov. 7 — Augsburg (at Metrodome) in Minneapolis
10. Nov. 14 — Carleton at Collegeville

(What I think: This is a pretty friendly schedule for SJU. With the exception of the always very tough Cobbers up in Moorhead, most of the stiffest competition — at least now and on paper — seems to be facing us at home. What does anyone else think?)

* * * *

Listening at home —

Again this year we’re fortunate to have that great radio team from The Bear — WBHR AM 660 in Greater Minnesota, AM 1330 in the Twin Cities, and AM 1270 in Southern Minnesota — broadcasting Johnnie football fortunes. Led by golden throated Mark Lewandowski, the team includes color guy Bryan Backes ‘87, and on-the-field voices, father-son Mike ‘77 and Charlie ‘03 Carr.

For those of you far away — like Drake Dierkhising SJP ‘59/SJU ‘63 in Sonoma, CA and Bill Carney ‘66 in Ft. Lauderdale, FL and quite possibly Bill Draves ‘64 in Hot Flash, AZ — it is possible to listen to live streaming of the radio broadcasts over your computer, but I’ll be darned if I know how to do it. Try calling the SJU alumni office for directions (800-635-7303), or if you’re really adept, perhaps explore www.gojohnnies.com — the answer is probably there.

* * * *

D3Football.com’s preseason standings:

No surprise for the first two — Mount Union (1) and UW-Whitewater (2)…it’s been that way for several years now. The D3football.com Top 25 is voted on by a panel of 25 coaches, Sports Information Directors and media members from across the country, and is published weekly. You can check out the top 25 plus by visiting: http://www.d3football.com/top25/2009/week-0

For those who just want the crux, here it is: UW-Stevens Point is #5; St. John’s is #13; St. Thomas is #22; and receiving some votes are Central (of Iowa); UW-Eau Claire; UW-LaCrosse; and — gasp! — Augsburg with one vote. See what I mean about the WIAC? They’ve got two highly ranked and two more well thought of. Of course, in reality we all know that the WIAC is comprised of the moral (and physical) equivalent of our state’s Division II schools.

* * * *

The Immutable Laws of Applied Terror —

(This hard-won knowledge is presented as a service to all current Johnnies and Bennies from your CSB/SJU brethren and cistern.)

First Law of Applied Terror: When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.

Second Law of Applied Terror: The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.

Third Law of Applied Terror: 80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read.

Fourth Law of Applied Terror: Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor’s course. (This one still haunts me 45 years later.)

Fifth Law of Applied Terror: The night before the English History mid-term, your biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.

Sixth Law of Applied Terror: If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

Seventh Law of Applied Terror: If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.
(This one may have a corollary featuring too much time spent at Sal’s or the La.)

* * * *

From Ron Sandeen ‘57, New Hope, MN, who earlier emailed me briefly that he had fallen off his roof:

Hey, Wick…..how’s everything? I have now been home from the nursing home and rehab center for about a week…..now having home therapy twice a week. I’m still using a walker but also starting to use just a cane part of the time……have to get ready for SJU football, right? Yeah, a total of eight weeks residing in a nursing home! What a deal! I appreciated your e-mails and look forward to seeing you in the near future when we can enjoy a cold one together. Best regards, Ron

(Editor’s Note: While I’m so very pleased my good pal Ron is on the mend I have to ask: What the h*ll was he doing up on his roof at his age!?!)

* * * *

(Note: In lieu of Lindsay Novak Good’s ‘06 UUN Health Notes this issue, I offer this) —

What Are You Thinking?

Do you think more about good food to eat or more about what you are supposed to avoid? The first way of thinking leads to fulfillment and satisfaction, making you likely to eat less. The other leads to guilt and regret and the likelihood to eat more — something all of us want to avoid.

Here’s what you can do to develop a healthier attitude toward food.

First, think about good food to eat like more healthy protein. Eggs from free range chickens and grass-fed beef or bison are good choices. Next, eat more vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds. You can also enjoy a bit of dark chocolate now and again. A glass of organic wine most days won’t hurt either.

What should you do when your favorite foods aren’t too healthy? Don’t deprive yourself of them — just treat yourself occasionally.

According to Dr. Al Sears, “Having a healthy attitude toward food is as simple as enjoying the foods you eat, taking your time to taste them, and not worrying over the meal in front of you as you eat.”

Well said Dr. Sears.

[Source: Early to Rise "Total Health Breakthroughs" newletter, Melanie Segala, Executive Editor]

(Further Comment: Although I haven’t spoken to her recently about it, I hope Lindsay has the time to continue her health and nutrition column again this year.)

* * * *

Ted Kennedy’s Letter to Pope Benedict: Angling for an Amicus Brief to St. Peter
http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/08/31/ted-kennedys-letter-to-pope-benedict-angling-for-an-amicus-bri/

(Editor’s Note: What a great idea…I never thought of lobbying a pontiff over salvation. Beats messing around with local or regional hierarchy.)

* * * *

Religious Life Quickies (a continuing series) —

As a Dominican sister, I lived in a convent named for a deceased pope. One day while I was wearing contemporary clothes instead of my habit, I drove into a gas station to get the communal car filled up.

After the young attendant topped off the tank, he walked toward my car window to return my credit card. It was clear from his furrowed brow that he had something on his mind. The young man looked at me shyly and pointed to the convent’s name, John XXIII Hall, imprinted on the card.

“Pardon me,” he asked hesitantly, “but how do you pronounce your husband’s middle name?”

* * * *

The “Why We’re Never Going To Win” Department (another continuing series) —

He said: “The problem is that I’m a perfectionist and you’re not.”

She said: “Exactly! That’s why you married me and I married you.”

* * * *

Theology/Philosophy Majors’ Department —

An old man visits a cemetery where only the wealthiest are buried. He walks past mausoleums large enough to hold entire families. They’re all very impressive structures, like Greek temples with windows by Tiffany, gold leaf, the works. The old man looks, sighs, and says, “Now that’s living!”

* * * *

From Marilee Giere, a friend from St. Cecilia’s —

I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket. Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.

I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels [Ed's Note: You can subsititute Olde Johnnie Ale] and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, and carried on my fishing with the frog.

A little later I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.

* * * *

Well, this is quite enough for today. I wish our Johnnies well during their excursion to River Falls and I hope many of you will try to make it out to support our gang vocally with great joy.

Best wishes to you all,

Bob Wicker SJP ‘60/SJU ‘64, St. Paul, MN;
651-699-4697
theowick@aol.com