Game photos from Johnnie Dad (Jeff Sowden).

Go Johnnies!

Click HERE to view full screen images as a slide show.

And just like cro magnon man who evolved over thousands of years into the present day college student, so has Johnnie Football tailgating.  First founded on the worn asphalt just above the south endzone at Clemens Stadium 11 or so years ago, Johnnie Tailagating continues to grow and is now the traditional staging ground for fans looking for pregame chatter and chow.

As a sign of appreciation, solidarity and support, JohnnieFootball.com will sponsor the pregame event this coming Saturday at Carson Park in Eau Claire, Wisconsin.  While supplies last, we’ll have brats, burgers, buns and plenty of fat to chew for fans prior to the SJU – Blugold kick off at 7:00pm.

We’ll begin grilling meats around 5:00pm so bring a tasty treat to share and some of your favorite beverage to sip and savor.  There’s not much in the way of rules and regulations at Carson Park but let’s show’em anyway what Benedictine fellowship and responsibility looks like.

Johnnie Tats is rounding up the condiments, TDT is roaming the meat locker as we speak and DustySJU will have his well seasoned Webber Kettle primed for grilling.  Anybody can come.

JohnnieUpEverybody!

The 56321, Collegeville, SJU, School, the “Ville”, Harvard behind the pines, the Holy Land, and the greatest place on earth. These are just some of the titles that the Nation that is Unrivaled hangs on those beloved acres of land in Stearns County- where all of us spent the best four years of our lives. But in the end, for each and every Johnnie, it has always been and always will be HOME!

Now that this never ending off season is finally behind us, it is time to brush off the coolers, load up goodies to share, and make that most wonderful drive up 94 to the place that all Johnnies simply consider HOME.

It is time to renew those friendships with your Johnnie buddies (Fins, Johnnie Red, Carly, Wingman), it is time to show your kids where you lived, ate (the Refectory), and studied (okay- where you watched Bennies come down the stair case, aka the Library), and it is time to meet up again with all of those great folks that make the weekly trip from near and far to support Johnnie Football.

It is time to see folks like the Stanton’s, Johnsons, Boyle’s, Pederson’s and Schroeder’s to name a few. It is also time to welcome new members of the Nation to the Science Center lot. So come one and come all to the place we Johnnies call HOME, a place where the beverages are cold, the burgers juicy and the deviled eggs tantalize your taste buds prior to seeing 184 red clad fellow Johnnies take the field! It is time to get back HOME, no matter how far way you have moved, or how long it has been.

Make it a point to get HOME this weekend and every home game weekend in 2010 as we support this current crop of Johnnies. Young men such as Bone Crusher (#13), Killer (#97) Csonka (now wearing #34 vs. #4 from last season), La Crosse Lighting (#17) and without a doubt the best QB in the MIAC, JB (#9). Nicknames or not, these young men are now and forever will be one with us; they will be Johnnies and in the end we all share the same HOME.

It is the GREATEST day of the year. It is Johnnie Football Kick-off 2010. Let’s show the folks from Northwestern what it means to JOHNNIE UP!

Happy Thanksgiving. I’m not only trying to get this out on time, but I’m surprising myself by even getting out a UUN at all. It’s not that I am totally bummed by our upset loss to Coe College last Saturday, though I’m sure not happy about it. No, I’ve just got things to do.

About the game: Several people — including quite a few Tommies friends who just happened to notice the relative difference in outcomes between their game and ours — have said, “It’s hard to win when you turn over the ball SIX times!” C’est la frickin’ vie… However, it’s time to cheer on the hated Purple clan now; they are a very good team and should win the next two, maybe three games. Utilizing my vaunted (and patent pending) English Major’s Method of Determining Scores, I see UST completely humbling Coe in St. Paul this Saturday by a score of 41-17.

If I wasn’t hopping the AMTRAK to Chicago to see my youngest heir, Caitlin, today [Thanksgiving Day], I’d surely be there to witness the dismantling. What bothers me the most is we were so clearly the better team last week and now everyone will always wonder if SJU could beat UST again. In talking with players’ parents before the Coe game, the feeling amongst the Johnny team was, “Bring ‘em on. We shut them down for three quarters last time before they [UST] was able to tie in the fourth…we wanna do it again, this time for all four quarters.”

Were we looking past Coe to the Tommie rematch? Who knows…I doubt it, but six turnovers is six turnovers. Even at that, though, we were still in the game until the final 1:20 seconds before losing 34-27. Take away two, possibly three Coe TDs made from our mistakes and you have us winning 34-14.

This issue being rushédly prepared on Wednesday evening. I’ll put in as much as I comfortably can and then — zippo blasto — off into cyberspace. Some of you have suggested (and, in the case of Bill Draves ‘64, incessantly) that it would be nice if I continue with the Underground into the winter and even beyond. I make no promises, but at least you get this one. Maybe I should just send on the jokes and forget all the rest of the bytes in the future.

My best to all of you, and thanks for your interest, compliments, support and occasional participation in the UUN. Oh, and here’s my Thanksgiving blessing for all of my cherished readers:

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!
Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

P.S. GO JOHNNIES! G0 BLAZERS!

Bob Wicker SJP ‘60/SJU ‘64, St. Paul
theowick@aol.com/651-699-4697

* * * *

End of Season Articles —

(Not to be confused with SJU-Coe game articles, which are located farther down)

DeLand column: Live on the edge, die by the edge

by St. Cloud Times sports editor Dave DeLand

COLLEGEVILLE — After all the talk about the quarterback’s thumb and regional playoff seedings, about a potential second-round matchup with their biggest rival and home-field advantage, it all came down to this on Saturday for St. John’s:

A football team that spent its season living on the edge finally fell off it.

And the fact that the Johnnies might have been overdue for a little bad luck didn’t make Saturday’s stunning 34-27 NCAA Division III playoff loss to Coe at Clemens Stadium any easier to take.

“A day like this … well, I’ve never been pregnant, but it’s like giving birth. I want to say ‘Never again’,” Johnnies coach John Gagliardi said. “I really don’t need this pain.” (Read more)

* *

Rajkowski column: Gagliardi moving on after tough loss

by Frank Rajkowski, St. Cloud Times

COLLEGEVILLE — On the day after the day after, John Gagliardi was doing his best to move on Monday — even as the sting of the Johnnies’ 34-27 first-round playoff loss to Coe Saturday still lingered.

“It isn’t any easier today than it was years ago,” said Gagliardi, who Monday was named MIAC coach of the year for the 13th time after his team finished 10-1 overall and won its 27th conference title since he took over at the school in 1953.

“You never get used to it, no matter how many times you go through it. If you have a terrible headache, it doesn’t hurt any less because you had them in the past. Pain is pain. (Read more)

* *

Playoff upset takes edge off an unbeaten regular season for Johnnies

by Frank Rajkowski, St. Cloud Times

COLLEGEVILLE — The bitter taste of Saturday afternoon’s 34-27 first-round playoff loss to Coe (Iowa) was still too fresh for St. John’s junior quarterback Joe Boyle to look back at the 2009 season with anything other than mixed feelings Monday.

“It’s kind of tough,” Boyle said. “We went 10-0 in the regular season and we won the conference. Those are big accomplishments.

“But at the same time, at a program like St. John’s, first-round exits are not the norm. That’s not what we’re shooting for. We want to go deep into the postseason and we haven’t been able to do that for the past two years. So it’s frustrating.”

Especially Saturday’s loss, in which the Johnnies turned the ball over six times — including two the Kohawks returned for touchdowns. (Read more)

* * * *

More Scenes From Stearns County —

A very zealous, soul-winning young preacher recently came upon Arnold Nietfeld, an old-time Stearns County farmer working in his field outside Spring Hill. The preacher asked Arnold, “Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man?”

Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work, Arnold replied, “Naw, dese are soybeans.”

“You don’t understand … Are you a Christian?”

With the same lack of interest Arnold said, “Nope. The name’s Nietfeld. You must be lookin’ for Jim Christian. He lives ’bout a mile south of here.”

The determined preacher tried again, asking the farmer, “Are you lost?”

“Naw! I’ve lived here all my life.”

“Are you prepared for the resurrection?”

This caught Arnold’s attention. He looked up and asked, “When’s it gonna be?”

“It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day!”

Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, Arnold remarked, “Well, don’t mention it to my wife. She don’t get out much and she’ll wanna go all tree days.”

* * * *

From Matt Lindstrom ‘92, St. John’s U. professor of Poltical Science

We still have some opening spots for the upcoming McCarthy Center event in Minneapolis. I especially hope more CSB alums RSVP. As of now, we only have seven CSB alums who have RSVP’d.

You’re invited to the 4nd Annual “Polidazzle: Students and Alums in Politics and Policy”, sponsored by the McCarthy Center for Public Policy and Civic Engagement at the College of St. Benedict and St. John’s University on Thursday, December 3, 2009
5:30 p.m.-7:30 p.m. The News Room, 990 Nicollet Ave, Minneapolis

Polidazzle is a networking event for CSB/SJU students, alums, staff and faculty interested in public policy and civic life. This reception offers an excellent opportunity for current students to meet alumnae/i who are active in civic and political life as professionals or volunteers. Feel free to invite other alums you know. This is a two hour open house reception with complimentary drinks and abundant hors d’oeuvres and takes place along the Holidazzle parade route.

Please RSVP to Stacy Penk, Coordinator of the McCarthy Center for Public Policy and Civic Engagement at CSB/SJU. RSVP to Email: spenk@csbsju.edu Phone: (320) 363-3266

* * * *

From Mike Ricci ‘62, Little Canada, MN —

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego…

“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

* * * *

There is this Johnny grad who is married to a Bennie. He is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better.

Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away. One of his old classmates popped in one evening to see how he was faring as the ‘house husband’. The Johnny crowed, “I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath.”

His classmate was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife when our Johnny added sheepishly, “When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl. I had to do all the rest.”

* * * *

English Majors’ Corner —

(With thanks to Sister Lois Wedl OSB ‘53, St. Benedict’s Monastery)

* * * *

The young UST frosh needed to find a local bank in which to deposit a nice check from his grandma. He found a close one on Snelling Avenue; he entered the bank to cash that check.

He looked so lost that a bank assistant went to help him. “Please sign the back of the check,” she told our hesitant Tommy, “just as you’d sign a letter.”

The Tommy looked at her gratefully, scribbled on the check and passed it to her. Signed on the back was: “Yours affectionately, Raymond.”

* * * *

An Underground Thanksgiving Message, Part 1 —

“Silent gratitude isn’t very much to anyone.”
— Gertrude Stein

* * * *

SJU student wins state piano contest

Kamil Tokarski, a St John’s University sophomore and piano performance major, won the Music Teachers National Association State Young Artist Competition Nov. 14 in St. Paul. He performed Frederic Chopin’s “Andante Spianato and Grand Polonaise” and Ludwig van Beethoven’s “Appassionata Sonata.”

Kamil will compete against other state winners at the district competition at The University of Missouri in Columbia, Mo. in January. He is a piano student of the Rev. Robert Koopmann, OSB, St. John’s president, who continues to teach Tokarski and two other students. Tokarski was featured soloist with the St. Cloud Symphony Orchestra last April after winning the SCSO concerto competition.

* * * *

SJU Basketball —

Smith gets win No. 700 as Johnnies thwart Dragons

By Andy Rennecke, St. Cloud Times, November 22, 2009

Jim Smith finally got to No. 700. Thanks to Andrew Latzke and Chris Schwartz.

Smith, the all-time winningest coach in Minnesota college basketball history, had waited a long time to get his 700th career win.

With an 81-79 victory over Minnesota State-Moorhead Saturday night at Halenbeck Hall at the Radisson Suite St. Cloud Hoopster Classic, the anticipation finally came to an end.

The Johnnies swarmed Smith after the final buzzer sounded with pats on the back and handshakes.

“It was just fun to get the win,” said Smith, who is now 700-489 in his 46-year career. (Read more)

(Editor’s Note: The Unofficial Underground News salutes Jim on this wonderful landmark. GO JOHNNIES!)

* *

Rennecke column: And that’s why SJU and SCSU need to play

Times sports writer Andy Rennecke

Some St. Cloud State and St. John’s football fans wonder who would beat whom if the two teams ever decided to play again.

As most of them know, that’s not going to happen.

So maybe the next best thing for those fans is seeing St. Cloud State and St. John’s match up in their annual men’s basketball game every year.

The Huskies, who are a step up in divisions, usually get the best of this game, just like they would in football.

But the men’s basketball games tend to be close affairs. The Johnnies won in 1999 and 2005 since the two teams decided to start playing each other again 10 years ago.

Friday night’s game at Halenbeck Hall had St. Cloud State backers biting their fingernails from start to finish. The scrappy Johnnies were playing with passion and built up a 12-point lead with a little more than 10 minutes left. (Read more)

* * * *

An Underground Thanksgiving Message, Part 2 —

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you.’”
— William A. Ward

* * * *

From Jerry Howard ‘56, St. Cloud, the UUN’s Stearns County Stringer —

New novel explores death of Priest John Kaiser

by Terry Lee, WJON.com

ST. CLOUD — A new novel from a Minnesota author will tell the story that led to the suspcious death of Catholic Priest John Kaiser [SJP '51/SJU '55].

A member of the St. Cloud Diocese, Kaiser did missionary work in Kenya for 36 years. In 2000, he was found dead in Kenya from a gun shot to the back of his head. Government officials ruled it a suicide.

However, author Dean Urdahl believes the St. Cloud area native was intentionally murdered becuase he was standing up against human rights violations and against Kenyan government.

Urdahl says his book will be fictional, but strongly based on facts. Urdahl says most of the dialogue will be made up. The book will layout the events and line of thinking surrounding Kasier’s death.

The book is expected to be released some time in the spring and doesn’t have a title yet.

* * * *

The Miserable Coe Game Reports —

Johnnies’ Coe-nundrum ends the season

By Frank Rajkowski, St. Cloud Times

COLLEGEVILLE — Dramatic comebacks and last-second field goals. New players stepping in successfully for a rash of injured starters.

Throughout the course of an unbeaten regular season, the St. John’s football team always managed to find a way to overcome whatever adversity it happened to be facing from week to week.

But in Saturday afternoon’s 34-27 Division III first-round playoff loss to Coe (Iowa), the obstacles — many of them self-imposed — proved simply too much for the heretofore resilient Johnnies to surmount. (Read more)

* *

College football: Turnovers frustrate Johnnies

By Frank Rajkowski

COLLEGEVILLE — In his team’s final two regular season games, St. John’s freshman quarterback John Ries was able to step in for injured starter Joe Boyle and lead the Johnnies to a pair of victories that wrapped up an unbeaten regular season and the MIAC title.

But after coming into Saturday afternoon’s 34-27 first-round playoff loss to Coe in the fourth quarter when Boyle had to leave the game after taking a shot to his lower back, Ries found the going substantially more frustrating.

On his first play, Ries fumbled the snap from Tim Juba. Kohawks senior linebacker Calvin Thomas was there to scoop up the ball and race 76 yards for a touchdown to put Coe in front 34-20.

On St. John’s next possession, Ries had a pass picked off by Kohawks senior free safety Joe Giachino before a visibly hurting Boyle was finally able to return to action. (Read more — if you can bear it…)

* *

Coe (Iowa) 34, St. John’s 27

Scoring and Stats

[The St. Cloud Times]

* *

MIAC Football – NCAA Playoffs: Tommies Roll, Johnnies Upended

by Rich Mies SJP ‘76/UST ‘80, College Sporting News‘ “Mapping the MIAC” Columnist

The Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference had mixed results in the opening round of the NCAA Division III playoffs, as league champion Saint John’s was upended by Coe College 34-27 while runner-up St. Thomas cruised to a 43-21 win over previously unbeaten Monmouth College. With the win, UST advances to the second round, where it will tangle with the Kohawks, rather than squaring off against their arch-nemesis. (Read more)

* * * *

From Al Richie SJP ‘60/UST ‘64, Wayzata, MN —

So, I thought “Well, this will be the first time that I could go and watch the Tommies play against St. John’s in the playoffs” Oh well, maybe not then.

* * * *

From Tim O’Hara UST ‘76, St. Paul —

Rob – Tough loss to Coe. It’s tough when you have 6 turnovers. Must have been a frustrating game. I was hoping for a rematch. We’ll do a burger sometime soon. Take care, Tim

* * * *

From Mark Selner SJP ‘68/UST ‘73, Shoreview, MN —

WOW! What happened to your boys?? Couldn’t hang on to the pig!! It would be nice if UST went a little farther in the playoffs!! — Mark

(Editor’s Note: Mark, who is the godfather of Olde Johnnie Ale, reminds everyone — in the region anyway — that OJA now is available in bottles sold in a 12-pack. He asks that all fans of this tasty brew ask their favorite pubs and liquor stores to carry it. I did, by the way. OJA is now available in my part of St. Paul (Highland Park) at International Wines and Liquors on Cleveland Avenue near Highland Parkway, right next to Punch Pizza. Please buy some so I can keep my credibility with them. Earlier this week I took a few bottles down the street to R.F. Moeller Jewelers at Ford Pkwy and Cleveland to let Jamie Moeller [a Johnny of unknown year] and his Tommy uncle Bob Moeller sample this brew I’ve been telling them about.)

* * * *

From Bill Farmer ‘69, St. Cloud —

Bob, Great to see you at the game and later at the La. Thanks for the beer!! I’m still not exactly sure how to describe the unexpected and unanticipated end to this season this early in the playoffs. For a playoff game, you have thought that there would have been more people in the stands.

I think that I will always remember this season as the ‘woulda, coulda, shoulda, but didn’t quite’ season. We won’t see the Johnnie-Tommie playoff match up every one was looking forward to. When St. John’s intercepted the ball and ran it back 100 plus yards against Mount Union, it was fun to watch. When Coe returned a tipped ball 93 yards, it was not fun watching.

Even with 6 turnovers, you almost could have made an argument that they would somehow come back to tie the game and pull it off in overtime. It was a horrible way to end a lot of great seniors’ Johnnie football careers.

See you next fall. — Bill

(Editor’s Note: I had the pleasure, as well as good fortune, of sitting next to Bill and his friend Dave Hinman, also of St. Cloud, for the past three games on Dave’s 50-yard line seats.)

* * * *

From Harry Acker, Honorary Johnny, Virginia Beach, VA —

Hi Wick, Good luck tomorrow v.s. Coe. I see St Thomas plays Monmouth. I saw them play Old Dominion earlier this year. They have a real good RB, who ran for over 200 yards that day. It was one of the two games Old Dominion lost this year. They play at VMI tomorrow in the season finale. Hope all is well with you. I promise I will call you soon. Happy Thanksgiving, Harry

(And then, after the game, Harry simply wrote:)

Bummer! Harry

* * * *

From Al Eisele ‘58, Falls Church, VA, UUN’s Roving Correspondent —

Wickster: I hold you personally responsible for lulling readers of the SJU Underground News into a false sense of security for not warning us that Coe was a formidable foe that could end the Johnnies’ unbeaten season and leave us with the humiliating prospect of seeing St. Thomas carry the MIAC banner into the Division III playoffs.

Be that as it may, I am now switching my allegiance to Mount Union, which I am convinced will win its 11th Division III title since 1993, a record unblemished only by its loss to St. John’s in the 2003 Amos Alonzo Staff Bowl title game in Salem, Va., at which Len Mrachek, Mark Lohmann [both ‘58] and a lot of other Johnnies cheered ourselves senseless and froze our asses off.

Consider, for a moment, how Coach Larry Kehres, who has a 275-21-3 record (.929 winning percentage) over 23 seasons, and his Purple Raiders out-scored their opponents 510-83 this year, including a 55-0 defeat of 20th ranked Washington and Jefferson in the first round of the playoffs on Saturday. Of course, he gets all the high school prospects rejected by Ohio State, Penn State, Michigan, Michigan State, etc., but he’s a terrific coach, and a nice guy to boot, as I learned when I went to Alliance, Ohio, three years ago and interviewed him.

If you’d told me the Johnnies would lose at home and not get another chance to trash the Tommies, I’d have said that’s about as likely to happen as Gagliardi announcing his retirement.

Keep up the good work. Your East Coast Correspondent.

(Editor’s Note: I’m sure that Jay Cutler, Mt. Union’s own St. John’s wannabe, will be quick to tell Al that UW-Whitewater beat his alma mater a couple of years ago in the Stagg Bowl. I presume those two will face each other once again, for something like the fourth, maybe fifth, time in a row…and that a bunch of us (everyone’s invited) will gather at a local watering hole to watch the game together.)

* * * *

From Paul Hamann ‘63, Edina, MN, very soon to be Sedona, AZ —

Hi Bob, Painful way to lose. Called SJU’s front desk while heading east and only got the score. The details really hurt. We’ve had similar loses over the years to UWW and St. Olaf and more remotely to Pacific Lutheran. Guess it’s the law of averages.

Next year looks pretty good again. I hope UST represents the MIAC well; Can I even write “Go Tommies”? Thanks for another great year of the Underground Newsletter. — Paul

PS – Off to Sedona in mid December. Call if you’re in the area again this year…

(Editor’s Note: For about five years running Paul would always say, “If you’re down in Sedona be sure to drop in.” Well, I finally made it last March and found that Paul and his wife Mary were off visiting some Caribbean island.)

* * * *

From Bill Marrin ‘61/’65, Dallas, TX –

It took a while but St Thomas has finally learned the secret – hire an Italian Catholic coach and “presto” – you start winning games! — Bill

* * * *

Three mothers are comparing notes on their exemplary offspring.

“There never was a daughter more devoted than my Alice,” boasted the first mother. “Every summer she takes me to the Catskills for a week, and every winter we spend a week at Delray Beach.”

“That’s nothing compared to what my Anna does for me,” said the second. “Every winter she treats me to two weeks in Miami and in the summer two weeks in the Hamptons, in my own private guest house.”

“Nobody loves her mother like my Jackie does,” gushed the third. “Nobody.”

“So what does she do?” the other two mothers demanded.

“Three times a week she gets into a cab, goes to the best psychiatrist in the city, and pays him two hundred and fifty dollars an hour — just to talk about me!”

* * * *

An Underground Thanksgiving Message, Part 3 —

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”
— Cicero, 106 BC -43 BC

* * * *

From Dave Wendt ‘63. Edina, MN —

Bob: Great and very effective publicity for the Rich Hall Scholarship Fund. [Ed’s Quick Explanation: Dave speaks of the game announcement about a $1,000 donation made to Rich’s Fund by Chuck Garrity, Notre Dame ‘65.]

Karin and I would also make a $1,000 contribution to the Rich’s Fund if you can find a “Matching Donor” or multiple donors giving a total of $1,000 to the Rich Hall Scholarship Fund.

Let us know if you feel this would be appropriate.

(Editor’s Response: Dave and Karin…Thanks a million! I’m sure that we’ll have someone(s) belly up to the Fund to meet your match. I suppose these donors can contact you at WendtFlying@aol.com, right? In lieu of someone who will match the whole thou, I’m in for 1/10 of your match if we can find nine others for $100.)

* * * *

From Jerry Streeter, SJP ‘52, Edina, MN —

Bob, you have surpassed the highest newsworthy superlatives one can confer upon you. Have no idea where you find the time or the memory to keep all the facts straight, but keep up the great work. — Jerry

* * * *

From Dave Steil ‘64, Yardley, PA —

Good to know of Dave Rosow [‘64] and where he is. As I recall he roomed with Tom Larkin on the first floor of Benet Hall our freshman year. I was just a few doors down in #20 . I believe he was in Connecticut the last time we had contact. Now if we could just find Thomas Daniel O’Brien who was in the room next me and adjacent to Dr. [Stephen] Humphrey, the circle would be complete. Hoping to see the Johnnies in the Stagg Bowl again. — Dave

* * * *

From Mark Sieve ‘64, Minneapolis —

Thanks, Wick! I plan to arrive around 10:30, is there any parking up there where you guys tailgate? I’m going to drive, probably meet my brother Kurt sometime before the game. I’m planning to make a day of it, so I’ll see you early on and maybe run into a few people I haven’t seen for awhile—it’ll be my own little homecoming. See you tomorrow, Mark

(Editor’s Note: Mark indeed showed up; we sat next to him with his brother Kurt, sister-in-law Jeanne and current Johnny student/nephew Jake. The he turned up again at the La with his brother Jon ‘69.)

* * * *

From Tom Weiss ‘66/’70, River Falls, WI —

Wick, There seems to be a lot of derogatory remarks about graduates of the fine educational establishment called Saint John’s Prep School in last weeks UUN! I would only like to comment…. I resemble those remarks! — Tom

* * * *

From C J Ross ‘64, San Diego, CA —
Subject: Hallelujah & Monks of Christmas…

Someone sent me the Mute Monks Hallelujah chorus one, ENJOY!

* * * *

From Pat Maxwell ‘66, Minnetonka, MN —

Happy Thanksgiving Bob. I realized that I have been missing out on your witty and informative missives for quite some time. My email address changed and I forgot to notify you. Could you please add me to your ever growing mailing list of fans? Thanks. Hope you and your family have a great holiday season. — Max

* * * *

From Vic Murphy ‘91, St. Paul —

Thought I’d pass on that my brother Tom’s ['89] football team (coach of the Nicollet Raiders and his son Sean plays safety and receiver #12) will be playing in the state 9-man championship on Friday at 10 am in the Metrodome (Mall of America Field). It will be a rematch of the 1999 championship game against the perennial nine-man power Stephen-Argyle. It will be televised locally on channel 45. If you have a high speed internet connection you can watch it at the website below. So go out and kick some ass on Black Friday and then come home to settle in your easy chair and watch the Raiders. If any of you readers have an email address for anybody else that knows Tom, please forward this message on them. Thanks, Vic

[45.grandstadium.tv] –Go Johnnies!

* * * *

From Mark Obler ‘64, Hastings, MN —

Hope you’re able to get to this puppy. These young ladies are splendid athletes and put on a high-energy show well worth viewing!

(Editor’s Comment: Thanks for sending, Mike. I love the award-winning Bennie Dance Team that performs so well at half times throughout the regular football season, but they’ve got nothing on these, I believe, high school girls…although they may be college. Incredible. The video’s over seven minutes long but you can get the gist in much less time.)

* * * *

The 12 Days Of Thanksgiving

On the First Day of Thanksgiving …
We give thanks for the fresh turkey feast and its hot trimmings.

On the Second Day of Thanksgiving …
We bless the cold turkey sandwiches, sloshy cranberry sauce and hard rolls.

On the Third Day of Thanksgiving …
We praise the turkey pie and vintage mixed veggies.

On the Fourth Day of Thanksgiving …
We thank the pilgrims for not serving bison that first time, or we’d be celebrating Thanksgiving until April.

On the Fifth Day of Thanksgiving …
We gobble up cubed bird casserole and pray for a glimpse of a naked turkey carcass.

On the Sixth Day of Thanksgiving …
We show gratitude (sort of) to the creative cook who slings cashews at the turkey and calls it Oriental.

On the Seventh Day of Thanksgiving …
We forgive our forefathers and pass the turkey-nugget pizza.

On the Eighth Day of Thanksgiving …
The word “vegetarian” keeps popping into our heads.

On the Ninth Day of Thanksgiving …
We check our hair to make sure we’re not beginning to sprout feathers.

On the Tenth Day of Thanksgiving …
We hope that the wing meat kabobs catch fire under the broiler.

On the Eleventh Day of Thanksgiving …
We smile over the creamed gizzard because the thigh bones are in sight.

On the Twelfth Day of Thanksgiving …
We apologize for running out of turkey leftovers.

And everybody says AMEN!

* * * *

The Last Word —

From Pete Gareri ‘62, Plymouth, MN —

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit…

The woman mortician, a new graduate of St. Cloud State University’s Mortuary Science Department, asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Lady Husky mortician a blank check and says, “I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.”

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, “Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?”

To her astonishment, the SCSU mortician grad presents her with the blank check.

“There’s no charge,” the Huskette says.

“No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!” she says.

“Honestly, ma’am,” our little Husky says, “it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.

“So I just switched the heads.”

* * * *

That’s it! God bless and keep you all this holiday weekend and all the days of your lives.

For starters, Tom and Carol Arth are planning on serving up some of their late fall chow with their semi-annual chili feed.  Using Ron Tomzcik’s enormous bouya pot, Tom and Carol will be offering a hearty meal in a cup in addition to all of the other tasty treats you expect as part of Johnnie Pregaming.

Join us in the Science Center Parking lot above the south endzone to raise the vibration and put a cap on the Johnnie regular season. 

We all love Johnnie alum and Carleton headman Kurt Ramler but what the heck, let’s kick some Knight fannie Saturday afternoon and bring on the NCAA DIII selection committee.

Anybody can come.

Johnnie Up Everybody!

Yeah, it’s a bye week for the Jays, and you may be getting antsy. But to tell the truth, although it’s strange not to be heading off somewhere to watch our Johnnies on Saturday, this off-week comes at a very good time. Junior QB Joe Boyle reinjured his gimpy thumb in the first quarter in what should have been a breather game for St. John’s against St. Olaf. In fact, before Joe got hurt on a routine play, he had already led his offense to a quick score and presumably was on the way to another when he was yanked and in comes a frosh, #16 John Ries, QB of 2008 State 5A Champion Wayzata High.

The youngster did okay, having virtually no in-game experience before his debut, but we didn’t score anymore meaning SJU’s mighty defense had to earn their spurs once again, as we held on to a surprisingly hard-fought 10-3 victory over a very scrappy Ole squad, a team that seems much stronger than its 1-4 MIAC record, though 3-4 overall.

Highlights come down to two plays at the end of the first half when the Oles were threatening near our goal to go ahead with time running out; first, they threw a pass to their guy moving just inside the goal line on the right side for a TD pass when an SJU defender jumped in front and nearly took the ball all the way back before being tackled somewhere in the Ole 30s. And next, with less than a second remaining, senior Russ Gliadon did it again! He set a new St. John’s record with a 52-yard field goal, putting SJU up 10 to 3, this coming only three games after he sent it the first time with his game-winning 49-yard thriller over Bethel.

Near the end of the game St. Olaf was threatening once again, having driven most of the field to around our 10 or so. We were having trouble stopping them on that drive for some reason and some of us fans-in-the-stands were having visions of another nail-biting, knuckle-chewing OT game. The Oles, who showed some really questionable time management in the last two minutes, finally took two-outs in a row to discuss their final play of regulation with just a couple seconds left. It turned out to be a pass (duh!) and two of our monsters squashed the QB for a loss to remain undefeated. Boy, what a year for cliff-hangers.

We need this bye to heal up some guys, but particularly to bring our new QB up to game-time speed. In some ways it’s a deja vu flashback to last year when we were trying out three QBs for the first half of the season — the result was offensive anemia, what with the coaches calling each play, the team needing to get used to the style of each of the QBs, the offensive line unsure of what was expected, RBs unsure of blocking assignments.

This time around I think we’re in better shape — the O-Line has matured and, in the last three or four games, has come together impressively, being a key part of our victories; the backs are running and blocking with much more authority this year; and the team, having successfully responded to Boyle’s leadership, still have the nucleus intact. Our generally powerful passing attack has been muted this year though, and now with a new kid at the helm, I don’t see it improving — and not because Ries doesn’t have an arm…he does; it’s part of being in synch with his A-team receivers and that takes time and experience. It also takes receivers who help out their QB by getting themselves in the clear when originally covered — we need a lot of work on that. So don’t expect much from the offense for the next couple of games, putting all the more pressure on the defense. Just be pleasantly surprised and grateful if we can score more than a couple TDs each game remaining in the regular season.

When will Boyle return? God (and maybe his doctors) only knows, but it doesn’t look too good for the near term. Maybe, after a monastery full of novenas, Joe will miraculously heal enough by the play-offs to utilize his extra dimensions of speed and elusiveness, reading defenses, and knowledge of the offense, if they don’t bring him back too soon. But for the next game or two it’ll most likely be running. And running. And more running. So, a couple of wishes for the coaching staff: how about using ALL our running backs? The last couple of games it’s been mostly Jakob Reding and Kellen Blaser with a dollop of Steve Johnson thrown in. And one more thing: please don’t script the poor Ries kid so closely that the game bogs down…let your veterans help young John ad lib when necessary… and let your team have some FUN. When our guys have fun and are allowed to get creative, good things happen. They know what has to be done.

(Just in: “Partial tear for Boyle” by Frank Rajkowski in today’s St. Cloud Times )

Before I leave the St. Olaf game, I wanted to mention — in perusing the program roster for the Oles — that they have 25 kids from Florida, California, Oklahoma or Georgia on their 96-man squard; about half of those are freshmen or sophs. Hmmmm? I wonder what the draw is…Snow?…Ice?…Tall, Blonde, Nordic Beauties?

In the same program there is an interesting graphic showing of that 137 out of 163 members of the 2009 Johnnies are from Minnesota. Of that 137, about 50 are from Central Minnesota and maybe 60 from the Metro area. For our out-of-staters we have five from North Dakota and four from Wisconsin…and, in full disclosure, we have two from Texas and two from California. And two from that football hotbed — Alaska.

* *

Up at the tailgate John Sipe ‘61/’65 and I received a warm, friendly, nutritious welcome from a gaggle of regulars, but the headcount was down to about a third of the throng assembled for the Tommie game. Besides the great camaraderie and time to visit a little more in depth with various people, I was introduced to former Viking Stu Voight who was attending his first St. John’s game; I guess he has a business in St. Cloud and he’s in the area more often. Or something. Also Kim Devoy ‘63 waved me over to say hello to some fellows he was standing with — turns out one was my classmate Ben Grage ‘64 along with his brother Jim ‘66 and a friend of theirs, Ron Lebens UST ‘63. All of them, including Kim, hailed from Shakopee, MN in days of yore. And, just before the game was to start, I heard a man ask, “Does anyone need tickets?” Well, Sipe and I sure did, especially if they meant you get to sit down too. Our benefactor, Dave Hinman, is a salesman for Sentinel Printing in St. Cloud (which does a lot of business with SJU), who had a handful of tickets that another St. Cloud gentleman buys each year but rarely uses completely. Someone told him the tailgate was a good place to find grateful fans. Turns out these ducats were smack on the 50-yard line, about a third way up. Besides Dave’s good companionship, John and I were surrounded by other folks we knew or came to know: old St. Paul Midway neighbor Bill Farmer ‘69 right behind us and behind him superfans Donna and Dana Buttenhoff; in front of us classmate Jim Conn ‘64, wifeAnita, and two women friends who came along; and beside us were classmate Mark Sieve’s ‘64 brother Kurt, his wife Jeanne and last of their four Johnnie sons, juniorJake ‘11. Besides the Mark connection, it turns out that Kurt and Jeanne are parents to my friend and former MoCo Advertising coworker, Adam ‘03. The Conns and the Sieves routinely come down from Alexandria for the games. Although Kurt didn’t attend SJU, his brothers Mark and Jon ‘69 did, and all four of Kurt’s sons did/do: Nathan ‘99, Adam, Andrew ‘05 and Jake.

When Joe Boyle went out with his injured hand, a new QB came in. “Who’s #16?” we all asked, looking in the program. A youngish woman sitting in front of Dave turned around and said pleadingly, “He’s John Ries…and he’s my son, so please go easy on him.” It was Sue Ries and we were able to cheer him — and her — on through all the highs and lows of his debut under the gun. Before halftime I thought I’d beat the rush to the men’s room (and I did) by leaving with a couple of minutes to play. Emerging from the lav I witnessed the dramatic interception, run back and awesome field goal. And I got to say hello to another classmate, retired judge Rick Ahles ‘64 (who also has dynamite seats up higher), who proudly announced that he finally had ALL his brothers at the game with him: Pete Ahles ‘60, a retired MD from California now back in Minnesota; twins Markand Jim (both ‘76, but only Jim stayed all the way through); and Jerry, the only non-SJUer of the brothers. During halftime I visited my St. Cecilia’s homies in the next section: Tom and Kathy Awe, their two daughters Hattie and Lucy, and Tom’s siblings, brother John Awe, sister Patty Welch, her husband Neil and son Peter of TCU, all up from Houston, TX; and sister Margaret Callan. So that means in over three games I’ve met virtually all of Tom’s and Kathy’s families, most of whom have travelled from out of state to see frosh Harry play.

The La Playette segment afterward was interesting because of some people that recognized me from the photo accompanying the Underground on JohnnieFootball.com. The first was Maureen Forsythe, wife of John ‘74 and brother of Bill Sullivan ‘74. Together they own and operate Bo Diddley’s Deli, right across the street from the La. John opened his restaurant in 1981 and they’ve been going strong ever since. Long time readers may recall about four or five years ago I featured John in a cute story about how John Gagliardi (who often says that he cuts no one from the team) actually sent John a letter suggesting that he not come out for the team the next year. John has kept that letter as sort of a historical document for over 30 years. John and Maureen and I had a nice visit for a bit, made nicer when Tom Gottwalt ‘82 strolled up to say hello; he was in the deli dining with some friends from North Dakota, I think he said. John showed me a plaque in his shop that has listed the many winners of the annual “Peg & Keg Cribbage Tournament,” which he has run since1975 each February through the present. Interested alums should email John at bomosubshop@charter.net. Before I left with our sandwiches to consume in the backroom of the La, John mentioned that he runs an ad in JohnnieFootbal.com offering 50% off of any 6″ sandwich if the purchaser comes in and mentions the winning score of the game. “Either nobody’s reading my ad or they aren’t hungry,” John said. So here it is:

Back at the La, I was visiting with John Uldrich ‘60, and son Jack SJP ‘82, and John’s friend up from Plano, TX, Ann Theriault, widow of Dick ‘60, when a woman came up and asked if I was the fellow who wrote the Underground. Guilty, sez I. She introduced herself as Diana Gliadon, who with her husband Tom, just had witnessed their son Russ’ second record-setting field goal this season. They were sitting with the parents of two recent outstanding linemen grads, the Kotsmiths [Andy '09] and the Lukes[Joe '09]. John Sipe introduced me to the son of one of his condo neighbors, Patrick Heelan ‘03, a classmate of my firstborn, Megan Wicker ‘03, at both Cretin-Derham Hall and CSB/SJU. He was celebrating of sorts, having just received word that he passed his bar exam. Congrats to him.

Back at our sandwiches, Jack Uldrich was telling us about his latest book, “Coached For Life,” which he has co-written with Ed Flaherty with a foreword by John Gagliardi. The book, available at the SJU Bookstore among other places, is the account of how spiritual and other values taught to football teammates in a small Catholic high school in Montana carried over into their adult lives. John and I each acquired one of Jack’s books, but mine was pre-empted by Mark Lohmann ‘58, who taught and coached in Miles City, Montana several ages ago; I hope he remembers to return it at the Augsburg game as he promised. For more info on the book, visit www.coachedforlife.com.

We had to return to the Cities early for John’s appearance at the St. Joan of Arc Benefit and Dinner, so we didn’t get to visit too long with Noel and Clark Stanton, in from San Rafael, CA to see son John ‘11, Hilary Tomczik, wife of Gary ‘67, who was visiting from Santa Barbara, CA before going to see her ill mother in England; Mark Lewandowski, Voice of the Johnnies; Jay Cutler MUU ‘72, Ron ‘65 and Sandy Tomczik, Rosie Overman, her son Josh ‘11 and other family, some Lillys ‘55 & ‘81,Tom ‘66 and Craig Arth ‘99, Mike Laliberte ‘69 and his constant fellow Johnnie fan, Phil ‘69 (whose last name embarassingly slips me this instant), and of course, our host, innkeeper Mark Zimmer SJP ‘70.

Enjoy the Saturday off from the gridiron, but as you’ll read, there are other things going on with PaddyWagon and SJU hockey. Hope to see many of you at Hubert’s before the Auggie game, or at the Dome, or at the St. Cecilia’s Red Mass after the game.

Best wishes,

Bob Wicker SJP ‘60/SJU ‘64, St. Paul
theowick@aol.com/651-699-4697

* * * *

Re the Johnnies’ Dome Game —

* Join the Saint John’s Alumni Association and the J-Club at Hubert’s Bar and Restaurant (601 Chicago Ave., Minneapolis – across the street from the Metrodome) on Sat., Nov. 7 from 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. for a football pep rally. [Ed's Note: I'll drink to that!] Tickets will be on sale at Hubert’s for the 1 p.m. Johnnies vs. Augsburg MIAC football game in the Metrodome. No advance registration is required for this event. Bring your family and head to Hubert’s to kick off a day of Johnnie football fun!

** And, after the game, you are cordially invited to the 2nd Annual St. Cecilia’s “Red Mass” and Celebration.

Mass at 5pm and reception with light meal approximately 6:15 in the church hall. It’s an easy drive from the Dome and will be a nice, friendly and hopefully ‘filling’ time. More details next newsletter.

***ATTENTION: Just in from Tom Stock, SJU Athletic Director:

I just received a call from Dr. Paul Grauer from Augsburg. He asked that Saint John’s communicate the following information to Johnnie fans for the Johnnie / Augsburg football game in the MetroDome on Saturday, Nov. 7:

Augsburg will begin selling tickets at Gate B (located on the northeast side of the MetroDome at 10 a.m.) Doors to the MetroDome for the game will open at 11:30 .am. Kick-off is at 1 p.m. Ticket prices are $7 for adults and $3 for students with ID.

FYI, thanks, and GO JOHNNIES! ~Tom Stock

* * * *

From Paul Hamann ‘63, Edina, MN —

Hi Bob, I’ve given up on Massey and the NCAA regional rankings are out today. Just pleased we keep winning. Here’s a link for the newsletter if you’re interested. [Ed's Note:Sr. Lois Wedl and Tom Stock also sent this in.] It’s a clip on “St. John’s Football Coach Not Letting Age Stop Him“ Keep up the great work. — Paul

(Editor’s Note: In D3Football.com’s Top 25 Rankings, SJU and UST both moved up; SJU to 4th from 5th, and UST to 15th from 16. Here’s how the first six read: Mt. Union, UW-Whitewater, Wesley, St. John’s, Linfield, and Central. Interestingly, only Whitewater remains in the Top 25, although UW-Stevens Point and UW-La Crosse both received votes, as did Bethel. At one time the WIAC had three with one more close behind receiving votes. And the MIAC had three also with one close behind. See for yourself. )

* * * *

Early Predictions on Regional Rankings —

From Eric Brever ‘01, St. Paul, who delves into play-off possibilities in his column in JohnnieFootball.com —

[JohnnieFootball.com]

* * * *

2009 MIAC Standings

Through games of October 24, 2009

UPCOMING GAMES

October 31, 2009 – all at 1 PM

• Augsburg @ St. Thomas — Tommies, but a good preview of our Dome game with the Auggies.
• Bethel @ Gustavus — Royals have just too much fire power, but one can always hope.
• Carleton @ Hamline — Probably the Knights, but Hamline could surprise. Ask the Royals.
• Concordia @ St. Olaf — Best game this week…both are better than their standings; I’d say Oles most likely.

* * * *

From Mike Beck to Dusty Wagner ‘83, godfather to JohnnieFootball.com —

Good morning, Dusty – You may already be all over this but, if not, thought I’d shoot you a note and figure out how to “get ‘er done.”

If my math is correct, SJU needs to draw 8,328 fans to the final home game vs. Carleton in order to hit 50,000 fans for the season. It would be unbelievable to average 10,000 fans/game for the 5 regular season home games this year — probably establish a D-III average attendance record that would never be eclipsed.

We ought to get this challenge out on the website and start getting some traction. Thoughts? — Becks

(Editor’s Comment: Depending upon the weather and what happens at the Augsburg game (i.e, an SJU win or loss), that should be a fairly easy to do. But mid-November can present some climatical challenges that fair-weather fans might decide to sit out. This Carleton game, though, will be a tough one (given what happened last year) and I sure encourage everyone reading this who is able, geographically speaking, to come up, not only to help establish a monumental attendance record, but even more importantly, support our team at a crucial time of the year. And don’t forget, Augsburg will not be a push-over either — witness the St. Olaf game. So, for those who are able, come out to the Metrodome and make some noise for SJU on November 7.)

* * * *

‘Always Welcome News’ Department —

From Eric Chalmers ‘92, Rosemount, MN —

Mr. Wicker, I had the pleasure of introducing some very close friends of mine to SJU the weekend of the Tommie game. Below is the note my friend Jeff wrote to the AD after the weekend. I thought the readers of your fine newsletter would appreciate Jeff’s thoughts as much as I did. Needless to say, Jeff and his family came away impressed. Go SJU! — Eric

* *

Sent: Sunday, October 18, 2009 7:57 PM
To: Stock, Thomas
Subject: St. John’s Character

Mr. Stock: I am writing you to let you know of the time my family had at the game on Saturday. Very close friends of ours that attended St. John’s & St. Ben’s had told us of the setting and the environment of a Johnnies home football game. Well, we decided to go with our friends yesterday for the game against St. Thomas.

The game, the environment and everything around it was about as good as it gets until after the game when it hit a new level. As fans poured onto the field after that thrilling win, my friend suggested we take our sons out onto the field. As we were out there our sons asked several players for their autograph. This is where the character of St. John’s was magnified. Each of the players took the time to sign a program and a football for our sons age 7 and 9, but the method and manner in how they did it was of the utmost class. To a player, each of them took the time to ask our sons if they enjoyed the game, where they were from and if they wanted to be a future Johnnie.

I cannot begin to express the maturity, class and the positive role model that your players demonstrated. I’m sure they didn’t think it was big thing, but it was. A former Johnnie told me that Coach Gagliardi always said, “do the ordinary things extraordinary well” and things will be ok. The ordinary things demonstrated by the players yesterday were really extraordinary.

Mr. Stock, in this day and age of needed character it is very reassuring to know the future is very bright. Please pass on my sincere thanks to the players and to Coach Gagliardi. He won more than just a ball game yesterday, his players helped to win over some future Johnnies as well.

My first trip to St. John’s was a memory that will last a life time for me and my family. All the best to you and to your University. Sincerely, Jeff Shaffer

(Editor’s Comment: Thanks, Eric, for taking the time to share this very nice, affirming message from your friend, Jeff. Generally, St. John’s and St. Bens’ attracts young people who find the hospitality and openness of our Benedictine communities an appealing part of their college selection process…and then, once here, begin through osmosis or whatever to project the same values to others when they can. Go Johnnies, Go Blazers!)

* * * *

From Al Richie SJP ‘60/UST ‘64, Wayzata, MN —

There were two recent graduates of St. Cloud State University who were going into business for themselves in a rental storefront on St. Germain Street in downtown St. Cloud. Sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store, they looked around their space. As yet, the store wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves set up.

One Husky said to the other, “I’ll bet any minute now some damn Johnny is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.”

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious St. John’s student in a red sweatshirt walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, “What are you sellin’ here?”

One of the men replied sarcastically, “We’re selling a$$holes.”

Without skipping a beat, the Johnny said, “Must be doing well… Only two left.”

* * * *

The Assault on Tailgating —

A fun article forwarded by Dusty Wagner ‘83:
[espn.com]

(Editor’s Further Thought: Gee, maybe I shouldn’t put this in the UUN and give Life Services any more ideas.)

* * * *

There was this graduate of the University of St. Thomas who was down on his luck in Las Vegas. He had gambled away all his money and had to borrow a dime from another gambler just to use the men’s room.

The stall happened to be open, so the Tommy used the dime in a slot machine and hit the jackpot. He took his winnings to the poker tables and turned his small winnings into ten million dollars. Now wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, he went on the lecture circuit telling his incredible story. He always told his audiences, “I am eternally grateful to my benefactor, If I ever find that man I will share my fortune with him.”

Finally, after one of his lectures, a man in the audience came up to our Tommy and said, “I’m the benefactor you’re looking for. I was the one who gave you the dime.”

“Oh, no…not you,” explained the Tommy, shaking his head, “I’m looking for the guy who left the stall door open.”

* * * *

College football: Defense keeps SJU unbeaten

by Frank Rajkowski, St. Cloud Times

COLLEGEVILLE — With the St. John’s offense struggling to score points and starting quarterback Joe Boyle on the sidelines with an injured thumb, it was left to the Johnnies defense to come up with big plays Saturday afternoon.

And time and time again in a 10-3 victory over St. Olaf, that’s exactly what they did.

The defense recorded three turnovers — including a huge interception that cornerback Mike Bonynge returned 66 yards to set up a school-record 52-yard field goal by Russell Gliadon to end the first half — as the Johnnies (6-0 MIAC, 8-0 overall) remained unbeaten before a crowd of 9,101 at Clemens Stadium. (Read more)

* * * *

SJU college football: Gliadon sets new mark

by Frank Rajkowski, St. Cloud Times

COLLEGEVILLE — When Russell Gliadon set a school-record with a 49-yard field goal in the closing seconds to beat Bethel on Oct. 3, he expected the record to stand for some time.

He certainly didn’t expect to break it himself just three weeks later. But that’s just what happened Saturday when the St. John’s senior booted a 52-yarder with under a second to play in the first half as the Johnnies beat St. Olaf 10-3 at Clemens Stadium. (Read more)

* * * *

DeLand column: Johnnies’ ‘D’ does the dirty work

by St. Cloud Times sports editor Dave DeLand

COLLEGEVILLE — Human nature being what it is, it would have been awfully easy for the members of the St. John’s football team to get as excited about Saturday’s game and opponent as they would get about taking out the garbage or washing their skivvies. (Read more)

* * * *

St. John’s 10, St. Olaf 3

Scoring and Stats
[The St. Cloud Times]

* * * *

College football: Blaser carving out spot with SJU

by Frank Rajkowski, St. Cloud Times
[The St. Cloud Times]

* * * *

MIAC Football Week Six: SJU Holds Top; Auggies Win a Wild One

by Rich Mies SJP ‘76/UST ‘80, CSN Mapping the MIAC Columnist

Saint John’s held onto its lead in the battle for the Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference championship with a 10-3 win over St Olaf. St. Thomas kept pace by downing Carleton, 48-28. Concordia notched its first win in MIAC play with a 41-21 hammering of Hamline and Augsburg took control of fourth place with a 28-21 squeaker over Gustavus. (Read more)

* * * *

Hot time in the Old Town Friday Night —

From Tim Flynn ‘91, St. Paul —

Hi Bob – You asked me for a reminder of the next time our group gets together: PaddyWagon plays this Friday, October 30th at 9:00 at the Dubliner Pub on University and Vandalia in St. Paul, right off I-94. The group is made up of me (SJU ’91) on guitar, mandolin, banjo and vocals, as well as Mark Bortscheller (SJU ’90) on bass, and four other non-SJU guys (Kevin Galligan - vocals & trumpet, Kevin O’Brien – vocals and harmonica, Joe Defoe – Guitar, and Dave Russell - Fiddle…rest assured none of them are Tommies). Thanks for the plug – we look forward to seeing you there! — Tim

(Editor’s Note & Invitation: Won’t you join me, your intrepid Johnny/Benny-backing editor, in taking in a set or two with Tim and his boyos this Friday. I’m going to be there by 8:30pm so I can be sure to get a seat at a table. And I usually pimp out around 11:00 or so. But I hope some of you Celtic (and other genres, like folk, rock, country, Dixieland) music lovers will join me, since we don’t have a game the next day. [Full disclosure: Tim is the son of my classmate and friend, George Flynn '64, but that's not why I'm plugging them...they're very good and lots of fun. No cover, either.]

PaddyWagon “Irish Music with a Twang” plays about 7-8 times a year, mainly at the Dubliner Pub, but occasionally at Shamrocks, O’Gara’s and every memorial day weekend at Madden’s! Their website is www.paddywagon.net and the full schedule can be found there. Upcoming shows at the Dubliner after this Friday are Saturday, November 28th, and Saturday, December 19th if you can’t join me this week.)

* * * *

SJU Hockey —

Alumni Game and MIAC Showcase
by Doug Schueller, Head Hockey Coach

I would like to report that the 2009 SJU Hockey Alumni game was another success and that approximately 25 alumni showed up to play with about 20 stopping over for a BBQ at my house after the game. I hope to continue growing this event in years to come. I almost forgot to mention that the current team got their first win of the season defeating the SJU Alumni by a score of 10-7.

I also want to inform all of you that we have our 2009 MIAC Showcase this weekend with 3 games at 2-5-8 each day. These games will all be played at the Bloomington Ice Garden and should be a great promotion for our league. The Johnnies play at 2pm on Saturday against St. Mary’s and then again on Sunday at 8pm against the Tommies. You can also see the entire schedule below.

Friday, October 30th:

2:00 p.m. Augsburg vs. Bethel
5:00 p.m. St. Thomas vs. Saint Mary’s
8:00 p.m. St. Olaf vs. Hamline

Saturday, October 31st:

2:00 p.m. Saint Mary’s vs. Saint John’s
5:00 p.m. Concordia vs. St. Olaf
8:00 p.m. Bethel vs. Gustavus

Sunday, November 1st:

2:00 p.m. Hamline vs. Concordia
5:00 p.m. Gustavus vs. Augsburg
8:00 p.m. Saint John’s vs. St. Thomas

Ticket prices are just $5.00 for everyone attending (children 5 and under free). One ticket gets you access to all games on that particular day. Methods of payment include cash or check (written out to the “MIAC”). No credit cards will be accepted.

Come support your team, mingle with alumni and friends, and support the guys as they begin the 2009-2010 hockey season.

I hope to see you this weekend, Doug

* * * *

Nutrition Bites

By Lindsay Good ‘06, RD, LD

Eating Healthy for Less

What costs more? Eating healthy or poorly? Most would guess that eating healthy costs more, but it doesn’t have to. It’s true that out-of-season blueberries are expensive and a lunch of grilled salmon and spinach salad will cost more than a Happy Meal. But it’s also true that by making smart choices, you will not only improve your health and lose weight, you can also save enough money at the same time.

Try these cost-effective changes:

1. Choose raw over processed foods. In general, the less processed a food, the more nutritious and less expensive it is.
2. Bag your snacks. 100 calorie packs are convenient but you’re paying for the packaging. Buy snack-size baggies and portion out your own snacks.
3. Save on produce. Apples, oranges, bananas, carrots, and cabbage are affordable year round. Produce can be expensive if you’re buying them out of season. Frozen fruit and veggies are also an inexpensive, healthy choice.
4. Buy in bulk. Get oatmeal, rice, nuts, dried fruit, and other dry goods in bulk. Join Costco or Sam’s Club and split purchases with friends or family to save in the end.
5. Try generic. Store brands often cost less, but the quality may not be the same. Buy only the brand-name products that are worth the extra cost.
6. Go meatless. Substitute beans twice a week and you’ll save hundreds of dollars a year and consume less of the unhealthy fats.
7. Eat in. About 47.5 percent of the average American’s food dollar is spent in restaurants. Replace the McDonald’s bag with a brown bag and bring your lunch to work.

The bottom line? You don’t have to be wealthy to eat healthy. Pound for pound, you’ll pay less for raw foods like rice or fresh fruits than for processed, canned or frozen foods like chips and chocolate-chip muffins. With a little planning you can save money and calories.

* * * *

Two middle-aged friends, a St. John’s alum and a UST grad, played golf together one day at the Johnny’s country club. Just before they teed off on the 12th hole, they stopped to buy cold drinks from the beautiful young woman driving the beverage cart. As the Johnny reached for his wallet, he flirted with her a bit, saying to her, “You’re in great shape. You must work out a lot.”

Flattered, she gave him an enormous smile and gushed, “Oh, thank you so much!”

The Tommy was very much impressed with both his Johnny pal’s charm and the young lady’s enthusiastic response and, to himself, vowed to act more like his Johnny chum around the young ladies.

The next weekend, the Tommy was with a group of his UST classmates at a different course. At the 10th tee was another lovely young woman driving the beverage cart. He decided to show off in front of his Purple fellows. “Watch this,” he whispered to his foursome. He walked up to the cart and said, “You’re in great shape. You must work out a lot.”

“Yeah,” she replied dryly. “You oughtta try it yourself.”

* * * *

* * * *

Instant & Brief UUN Feedback —

From John Taylor ‘58, SJU Institutional Advancement, on the lateness in the day of the last issue:

…about time; I have been missing my nap waiting!

From C.J. Ross ‘64, San Diego —

This is OUTSTANDING — What a “shot”!!! You are the best. — C J

From Sister Lois Wedl OSB, St. Benedict’s Monastery —

What a fantastic picture. Thanks, Bob. — Lois

From mí SJP/U compadre, John Sipe SJP ‘61/SJU ‘65, St. Paul —

Great work, my man. — js

From Bill Draves ‘64, Dry Hole, AZ —

Wick, From afar (far away and very warm!), it seems like this football season has not been for the faint of heart! I wonder, he wondered, what the rest of the year holds — especially in the playoffs!

Sorry I missed the trio of [Paul] Judge, [George Flynn] Flynner and [George] McKenzie. There are a lot of stories there! They should tell you about their trip to Russia. — Bill

* * * *

(And speaking of this trio):
From Paul Judge ‘64, Encinitas, CA —

Bob, Thanks for the note. Yes, the three of us were there [a visit to SJU and the Guest House] inquiring about the possibility of entering the monastery as decrepit geezers in seek of salvation. We thought there would be a break in price if we entered under the “buddy system.” We were soundly turned down. All was not lost though as there was a Tommy-Johnny game the same weekend, which we enjoyed immensely. Hope all’s well with you and your family. Sincerely, Paul

* * * *

From Mollie Mulheran Raih ‘65, Edina, MN —

Hi Bob, Saw your friend Fr. Mike Byron ['81] last eve! — Mollie

(Editor’s Note: I took that opportunity to personally invite Mollie and her Tommie ‘65 hubby Dr. Tom Raih to the St. Cecilia “Red Mass” for Johnnies, Bennies and friendly Tommies on Saturday, Nov. 7, beginning at 5 p.m., after the Johnnie-Auggie game at the Dome. Fr. Mike will be presiding. I now personally invite all of you too.)

(Mollie’s Quick Response

Thanks, Bob! We will be in the Holy Land…praying for you, while you pray for us…please:)

* * * *

From John Maas ‘58, Hudson, WI —

The picture was perfect and it was good to see that some 1958 Johnnies were cheering them on. Good luck tomorrow! — John

* * * *

From Colleen Lilly ‘81, Edina, MN —

Hi Wicker, Thanks for the Underground. My sister [Mary Wozniak '87] sent it to me so I will put it in my email log and hopefully I will continue to receive it!! See you Sat! — Colleen

* * * *

From Gary Kordosky ‘64, Tucson, AZ —

Wick – great picture, greater newsletter. I looked at the picture and it became obvious the would-be Tommy tackler was slowed down by the weight of the ink in his tattoos. cheers, gary

* * * *

From John Uldrich ‘60, Minneapolis —

Bob: great UUN! That pic should go along way . . .

See you at the game – will introduce you to Ann Theriault from Plano TX. Her husband, Dick ‘60 was a two-year Johnnie; made the first tour of the Marines in Vietnam flying an H34 Helicopter – spent ten years flying for Air America in and out of Laos. Passed out of the picture about 32 years ago. [May he RIP.] Ann and I have been seeing each other over the past two years. She has fond memories of SJU in the 60’s. — J.

P.S. will be in town for the ‘rouge et noir’ event on the 7th!

(Editor’s Note: John is the “godfather” of JohnnieBrats™, developed from his special recipe and produced for him, thus far, by the St. Joe Meat Market; John intends profits from this venture to go to The Record, of which he was an editor in 1959. He’s looking to franchise the brand so Johnnies all over the country can enjoy the taste. People attending St. Cecilia’s Red Mass and Reception on November 7th will taste these North Woods delicacies served now by John himself.)

* * * *

Intercepted email from C.J. Lyngen ‘92 to Ryan Heining ‘91 at 9:45 Saturday a.m. —

Ryan, Are you up here yet? I’m in Quad 254 with my girls working on their homework. I think we discovered a new routine — Get up to Collegeville @ 8/8:30 work on homework, then hit Stiftungfestivities. Go Johnnies! — C.J.

(And a reply, not from Ryan, but David Lukinac ‘92, Bayside, WI, who apparently was suffering through the Gopher loss to OSU.) —

Can a graduate with such stature as yourself have a brewski in Quad 254? Hope the Johnnies can do better than the gophers are at OSU? — luke

* * * *

From John Diffley ‘64, Stewartville, MN —

Bob,

You are a true English major! An off-week on the horizon — whatever will you write about? I can hardly wait for the next issue. Here’s my promised report on Ole Radio:

I tuned in the Ole station (KDHL Northfield/Faribault) and I will have to say that I was disappointed as the announcer was not the usual one who puts so much local color into the color portion of the play-by-play. It was so matter of fact that I went back to Relevant Radio and listened to Mark L. and Co. [Mark Lewandowski, Byran Backes, Mike Carr, Charlie Carr]. Those Norwegians (and Florida imports) always manage to make a game of it. Let’s hope the two week breather and a novena will put the war-wounded back into readiness. That poor Gunderson [All-American senior Nick Gunderson with reinjured leg] saw his best years as an underclassman. The only positive note is that there are usually five fellows lined up behind every starter to prove that they can do the job even better than the annointed can…what a motivator John [Gagliardi] is just by his presence.

…and that damn Sid Hartman will drone on for hours on end about those eternal do-nothings at the U. I remember one time somebody called in and said that maybe the U should schedule St. John’s and Sid immediately immediately shot back caustically by saying, “St. John’s would have no business on the same field as the U of M.” At the time I thought — “Yes, Sid, you might be right, but the U of M would have no business being in the same classroom as the Johnnies.” Enough of my droning. Thanks, John

* * * *

From the earthy Suzie Gooding, wife of Bruce ‘69, Durham, NC —

It’s been quite a while since we were camping. Seems there have been some new and exciting items available to those who like the great outdoors…Just when you think that you have everything packed in the camper they find some new gadget! — Suzie

* * * *

Restaurant Quickie, #1 —

Diner: Waiter, why is that alley cat staring at me through the restaurant window?

Waiter: Oh, it’s because you’re using the plate we usually feed him on.

* * * *

Restaurant Quickie, #2 —

A man walks into a French restaurant and asks the waiter, “Do you serve snails here?”

“Ah, but of course!”

“Okay, I’ll have the steak, and my little friend here will have the garden salad.”

* * * *

Restaurant Quickie, #3 —

A piece of string walks into the La Playette and orders a beer. Owner Mark Zimmer eyes him carefully and says, “Are you a piece of string?”

“Why yes, I am.”

“Well, we don’t serve pieces of string here.”

With that Mark throws the string out the door. The string picks himself up, dusts himself off, ties himself into a knot and frays one of his ends. He walks back into the bar again.

“I’ll have a beer, please.”

“Say,” says Mark, “aren’t you that piece of string I just threw OUTTA HERE?”

“No, I’m a frayed knot.”

* * * *

Thought for The Week —

“The thought manifests as the word;
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character;
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings…
As the shadow follows the body,
As we think, so we become.”

— Buddha

* * * *

Uh-Oh… Trouble in Paradise? (Continued) —

From Bob Christensen ‘62, Minneapolis —

Bob…I concur with Murph’s “complaint-in-alliteration” regarding the always annoying audible advertizing at the SJU home football games….Bob

(then Bob, a semi-retired physician, sent another message)

Bob…there is a thought-provoking and somewhat alarming article in the October 19th issue of The New Yorker magazine titled “Offensive Play” by Malcolm Gladwell, which describes new medical research suggesting an apparent increased incidence of chronic traumatic encephalopathy (a type of dementia) occurring in not only NFL players, but also in high school and college players—esp. lineman and also at a relatively young age…I have sent a copy of the article to Gag and thought you and possibly your readers might also be interested…most of us either played football or have had family members who played or are still playing football….Bob

* *

From Maxwell Stein ‘04, Anoka, MN (and sometimes Naples, FL) —

Theo: Mike Murphy hit the nail on the head last week in his write-in to the UUN. The in-game experience has drastically fallen off in recent years as it has become ever more commercialized. Is it really necessary to have 87 announcements to check out the press box for the new Rhino Deck? What about the constant barrage of “turn to such and such page in your Johnnie GameDay program to see if your page is stamped in red to win…” The new Bose speakers mounted on the Press Box must be cranked up, because it is damn near impossible to have any sort of meaningful conversation with the person next to you during the game. And God forbid they have some sort of hearing impairment.

Isn’t there a better way to give Johnnie football sponsors value? What about creating revenue streams in other areas (perhaps a $10/game ticket for the reserved seats or an exclusive tailgating lot with a parking pass good for all home games at a flat fee of $50 or so for the season)? I just think these things need to be looked at in the offseason. You wouldn’t believe many of the off-color remarks I am hearing in the stands where people are continually growing more tired of hearing the same monotonous plugs week after week. Theo, it is a real problem. People are turned off by the overwhelming bombardment of commercialization at Johnnie Football games. I actually think they are on the verge of a backlash (where the advertising has the reverse effect of its obvious intended purpose). By that I mean, people will go out of their way to NOT support the Johnnie football advertisers as a way to speak with their wallet.

SJU has tried (and some may argue succeeded) in becoming a Faux-Division 1 program in the name of the almighty dollar. The game experience has certainly NOT improved proportionally speaking. I realize it that SJU needs income for its athletic progams, but the in-game advertising is way over the top. At what point is enough, enough? I am a firm believer that the advertising both audibly and visually at Clemens Stadium is way past the point of saturation.

Cheers, Max Stein, Official SW Florida Hurricane Correspondent of the Underground News

* *

From Jim Marrin SJP ‘60/ SJU ‘64, St. Cloud —

Bob: Kudos to Mike Murphy for his comments in the last UUN regarding an issue that has long angered and saddened me, namely, the rampant crass commercialism that has come to characterize Johnnie football.

I have been a Johnnie football fan since 1956 when I attended my first game as a freshman at St. John’s Prep. Except for my years in the U.S. Navy, I have hardly missed a home game in all that time. I remember a time when the stadium PA system was used sparingly and then only to call the game or otherwise enhance fan enjoyment. I also remember when Sports Illustrated named St. John’s one of the top ten places in the country to watch a college football game.

Since then, we have seen massive infusions of money into improving stadium infrastructure from generous donors like Bill Clemens and many others. And yet if Sports Illustrated were to visit the campus today, I would not be surprised to see St. John’s listed as one of the worst places in the nation to watch a college football game.

Why? We now have a “premier and enhanced” marketing program, one of the best if not the best in Division III, or so we are told. Our “premier and enhanced” marketing program consists of — how to best describe it — bombarding players and fans with incessant ads, giveaways, and pleas to “support our advertisers” over the stadium PA system. It is loud, intrusive, continuous and obnoxious.

Example 1: “Turn to page 3 of your Johnnie Game Day Program. If you see ‘Go Johnnies’ stamped in red, you’ve just won (insert here – a pizza, T-shirt, beverage cooler, etc.).” In protest and as a matter of principle, I have stopped buying Johnnie Game Day Programs.

Example 2: “If you’re the lucky fan sitting in (section, row, seat), you’ve just won (etc., etc., etc.)”

Benedictine hospitality is everywhere on campus, everywhere except within the confines of Clemens Stadium. It stops at the gate. Within the stadium, there is no way to converse, no way to enjoy the camaraderie of friends and classmates, no way to enjoy the game, no way even to think. I leave every game with a splitting headache.

If St. John’s doesn’t stop this inanity, this ugly advertising freight train, and soon, I for one will vote with my feet. I will stop buying season tickets and stop attending home games. If enough fed-up fans do the same, then maybe one day St. John’s will find itself with the worst football attendance record in Division III and the generosity of people like Bill Clemens will all have been for naught. — Jim

* *

From Jim Conn ‘64, Alexandria, MN —

Hi Bob – Good to visit with you at the Stiftungsfestivities – those deviled eggs are the greatest! [Ed's Note: Yes they are! Thanks again to Aimee Wagner for her weekly treats.] The Blaser touchdown photo you pasted into the UUN came through fabulously and actually clarified the confusion of that moment because the OT touchdown was obscured from our seats on the 50 yard line due to the SRO crowd & wound up Johnny faithful trying to get a view of whether Blaser had crossed the goal line. I predict that Ryan Ward’s photo of that moment will live in Johnnie football annals for a long, long time. Thanks for publishing it.

On another topic dear to my heart was the mention by Mike Murphy of the earsplitting confusion thrown at us by the rap-level decibel setting of the PA system. Over the years I’ve become seriously hearing-challenged and am now on my third set of hearing aids over the past 10 years (ten years ago I was too embarrassed to have even mentioned hearing aids but that’s what age, maturity and peers in similar circumstances will do to you). For those of us hearing-challenged the PA system turns about 50% of the 4-hour afternoon into a cacophony of unbelievable duress — impossible to carry on conversations with old and new friends alike, impossible to listen to a headset radio in an effort to deduce what is happening on the field — and turns a premier Johnny sporting event that should be energizing and enjoyable into a challenging effort to remain engaged. After dutifully looking for the proverbial red stamp in my program over the past several years now, I’ve stopped doing it, both for revenge and because I think the chances of SJU beating Mount Union are better than me seeing a red stamp in my game-day program. Regards, Jim

* *

From Todd Mueller ‘74, Arden Hills, MN —

Hi Bob, Regarding the St. John’s P.A. Announcer at the Tommie Game…

I (and at least a half dozen fans around me) agree with one of your reader’s comments that the hawking of the announcer was incessant and incredibly irritating. Not only that, but it was embarrassing too. Here we’re witnessing a thriller of a game and totally caught up in the excitement, when once more, deep into the 4th quarter, we were interrupted in our conversations of potential strategies and asked to “turn to page fifty-six in our program and if our book has a stamp on that page we’ve won a water mug” courtesy of some local CPA firm. Yikes.

It was like the guys in the box were at a different game. Hello? Does anyone care? I have no problem with the volume of the speakers, or even the promotions themselves (note to staff: please get a Best Buy employee who can actually speak), but cool it on the number of announcements especially at the end of the game!

SJU might have the best sports marketing program in Div 3, but one of the tenets of effective marketing is knowing when to say enough. Enough. — Todd

(Editor’s Comment: Yikes! Mr. Murphy has unleashed some very strong pent-up feelings. Other than some intemperate comments about Tommies, I haven’t seen anything like this depth of aggravation in the 15+ years I’ve been laboring with the Underground News.

It appears to me there are four distinct problems outlined above: loudness of the new speakers; number and frequency of ads; the idea of such overt commercialization of a small college football game in the first place; and interruption of action for non-sports-related announcements. Or, perhaps to sum it all up, too darn much talking about things that aren’t related to SJU football.

Note to Sports Marketing: Better take a look at your game day ad format for next season before 2 or 3,000 fans (or more) stand up and yell, “We’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore!” Mr. Stein’s suggestion of looking for new ways to make up for possible lost ad revenue seems like a winner.)

* * * *

Top Ten Signs — How bad is our economy?

The economy is so bad that…

10. If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant “you” or “them.”

9. The Mafia is now laying off judges, and Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen.

8. Yesterday, I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

7. I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”

6. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

5. “Hot Wheels” and “Matchbox” stocks are trading higher than GM.

4. McDonald’s is introducing the ‘Quarter Ouncer’.

3. Parents in Beverly Hills have had to fire their nannies and learn their kids’ names.

2. Motel Six won’t leave the light on for you any more.

And the Number One sign of our bad economy:

1. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

* * * *

INNER PEACE —

by Sister Lois Wedl OSB, St. Benedict’s Monastery

Inner Peace: This is so true

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

Then You Are Probably…The Family Dog!

And you thought I was going to get all spiritual.

(Editor’s Comment: Yep…they sure don’t make nuns like they used to.)

* * * *

And speaking of Sister Lois, take a look at this wonderful Halloween treat she sent some of us; for those with young children and grandchildren, it’s a real kick:

[www.cubpack81.com]

* * * *

English Majors’ Corner. . .Halloween Division —

1. Impress your English teacher this year with a poet costume.
2. Vampire Poems
3. The Graves of Poets

* * * *

The Unofficial Underground News’ OB-GYN Corner —

(Answering questions that Bennies and others might have about pregnancy and childbirth)

Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q: Does labor cause hemorrhoids?
A: Labor causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q: Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A: In your breasts.

Q: Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A: Yes, baby lips.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

* * * *

From Fr. Don Talafous’s e-newsletter received yesterday (Wednesday) I was saddened to learn that Troy Fritz ‘88, Executive Director of University Relations, Institutional Advancement at St. John’s, is moving on to become Development Director for St. Cloud Cathedral High School on Nov 2. I heartily concur with Don when he says, “We will miss Troy’s energy, positive spirit, even temper and patience!” Our best to Troy in his new pursuits at Cathedral where he’ll join Mike Mullin, who left the Prep School’s Development and Alum Relations spot to become the new President of Cathedral. What are we…a farm team for CHS? Incidentally, if you’re not yet on Fr. Don’s email list and would so desire, please email him at DTalafous@csbsju.edu and ask to receive his newsletter.

* * * *

From Pete Gareri ‘62, Plymouth, MN —

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. “Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she said.

A little girl raises her hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.”

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

‘Well’, she began, “I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!”

“That must’ve been scary,” said the teacher.

“It sure was,” said the little girl. “My kitty raised her back, went ‘Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Ffffff!,’ but before she could say ‘F**k!,’ the Rottweiler ate her!”

The teacher had to leave the room.

* * * *

Fourth Annual ‘Polidazzle’ —

From Matt Lindstrom ‘92, Sartell, MN, Associate Professor of Political Science and Director, The Eugene J. McCarthy Center for Public Policy and Civic Engagement

You’re invited to the 4nd Annual “Polidazzle: Students and Alums in Politics and Policy”
Thursday, December 3, 2009 — 5:30 p.m.-7:30 p.m.
The News Room, 990 Nicollet Ave, Minneapolis (at Tenth Street), (612) 343-0073

Polidazzle is a networking event for CSB/SJU students, alums, staff and faculty interested in public policy and civic life, sponsored by The Eugene J. McCarthy Center. This reception offers an excellent opportunity for current students to meet alumnae/i who are active in civic and political life as professionals or volunteers. Feel free to invite other alums you know.

Polidazzle is a two hour open house reception with complimentary drinks and abundant hors d’oeuvres and takes place along the Holidazzle parade route. SAVE THE DATE and RSVP SOON….

Please RSVP to Stacy Penk, Coordinator of the McCarthy Center for Public Policy and Civic Engagement at CSB/SJU. RSVP to Email: spenk@csbsju.edu Phone: (320) 363 3266

* * * *

(And Speaking of “alums who are active in civic and political life”…)

An excerpt from “Commentary from Dave Durenberger” regarding how large banks are screwing over the American public in his e-newsletter from the National Institute of Health Policy:

TOO BIG TO CARE

Wells Fargo used to be a nice Minneapolis bank called Norwest where a young banker named Richard Kovacevich got his start and sailed west as Wells Fargo. Kovacevich recently passed his baton to John Stumpf, a boy who was raised up in Pierz, MN. So I make certain assumptions about local and small town boys. Like they think about their mom and dad and neighbors in small towns before they take advantage of ordinary folks.

We all know that millions of middle class Americans are drowning in credit card debt for which they may well be responsible. Leave out the enticements and the unsolicited promises that reeled them in. In light of the near-collapse of America’s financial system, and the taxpayer bailout engineered by Wall Street and its Washington, D.C., farm team, came limits on credit card interest increases.

Wells Fargo beat the deadline for congressional enforcement by jacking up its rates. I was tempted to call my St. John’s Prep School classmate, Floribert Spanier, from Pierz, whose daughter is married to John Stumpf. Flip, as we have always called Spanier, retired a few years ago as president and CEO of the Catholic Aid Association, a fraternal financial association that, I suspect, was much more understanding of their “members.”

(Editor’s Note to Dave: As they’d say down South about the speedy interest raising, “Wey-ll, son, that’s cuz bidness is bidness.”)

(Additional Editor’s Note: Dave Durenberger SJP ‘51/SJU ‘55 writes a lively, interesting and often blunt column on national, political and health policy (monthly I think); If you wish to SUBSCRIBE to Dave’s commentary, please send an email to nihp@stthomas.edu with the subject line “Subscribe Commentary”. Also, Flip Spanier SJP ‘51/SJU ‘55 and his wife Patricia Welle Spanier, who live in Roseville, MN, have four children, three of whom went to SJU/CSB: Ruth Spanier Stumpf ‘76 (San Francisco), Doug ‘83 (a musician in St. Paul), and Maria Spanier Stinnett ‘87, North Oaks, MN.)

* * * *

Red Tie Gala, Advance Notice —

The 3rd Annual SJU Red Tie Gala will be held February 5, 2010, at the Northland Inn in Brooklyn Park, MN. If you’ve been meaning to go and put it off for the first two years, now’s the time to act: Register online at gojohnnies.com (go to J-Club link), or call Heidi Goebel at 320-363-2591.

Price of $75 includes dinner and entertainment ($50 for alums of 2007, 2008 & 2009); besides most of the coaches, this year we have as special guest Jared the Magician coming off his grand performance in the CSB/SJU Fine Arts Series.

RSVP Deadline: January 25, 2010. Silent auction items welcome. All proceeds support the Johnnie athletic programs.

* * * *

The Last Word —

The young Scottish lad decided to try living in Australia. He found an apartment and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Scotland to see how her son was doing in his new life.

“I’m fine, but there are some really strange people livin’ here in Australia. One woman cries all day long, another lies on the floor moaning. And the guy next door bangs his head on the wall all the time.”

“Well, me wee laddie,” says his mother, “I suggest you don’t associate with people like that.”

“Oh, I don’t, Ma’am, I don’t. No, I just stay inside me apartment all day and night playin’ me bagpipes.”

* * * *

That’s it, folks…and believe me, that’s quite enough.

God Bless Us Johnnies and Bennies, Every One.
(with apologies to Charles Dickens)

There are a lot of pictures this week. There were so darn many good ones we couldn’t stand to cut it down anymore.

Click HERE to view full screen images as a slide show.

UHG analyst Nick Gunderson looking relaxed in St. Paul

Here it is Johnnie fans, the match-up we’ve all been waiting for has arrived and we’re mere hours away from kick-off.  Whether you’ve been anticipating a conference showdown to determine the automatic qualifier for the DIII playoffs, or your blood boils just thinking about that other Catholic university in St. Paul traveling to Collegeville, the Johnnie vs. Tommie game on Saturday is sure to meet anyone’s expectations for pure fun.

If you happened to have been listening to 1500am radio this morning you heard the enthusiastic UST coach Glenn Caruso talking about how Saturday’s game is more about conference standings and not as much about the Johnnie/Tommie rivalry.  For additional Tommie perspective, be sure to check out UST SID Gene McGivern’s blog entry for today.

For former QB Tom Linnemann, no relation to our own TDT, in an appearance on the same radio station mentioned his hatred is most intense for the Bethel Royals – “After all, if you haven’t won a game since ‘97(UST), it’s not much of a rivalry.”

As for the Johnnie Football Team they’ll need a clean game from QB Joe Boyle and some inspiration from the black hatted All-American nose tackle Nick Gunderson.  Although the Johnnie defenders have played well during his recent absence, you know his play will help disrupt the well oiled Tommie offense.

Warming the parking lot before hand will be the traditional Johnnie Pregaming Activities featuring Vic Murphy’s slow cooked pork shoulder lathered in Carolina Sauce, Veek’s Wild Rice Sausage from Thielen’s Meats in Little Falls, Natural Aimee’s Deviled Eggs and of course various grilled meats from Johnnie Red.  Rumor has it we’ll even have a venison meat and cheese tray compliments of a first time visitor!

Formation begins in the Science Center Parking lot above the south end zone ’round 9:00am with grills burning soon after.  Bring a tasty morsel to share and make Saturday’s event another glorious football experience.

For our Tommie friends, you’ve been incredibly accommodating the past few seasons as we’ve seized the premier tailgating locations on your campus so please feel free to join in.

Put your cold consumables in non-descript cups (not red) in discreet fashion and all will be good.

And finally, during the game – please…

Get off your ass and cheer.

Johnnie Up Everybody!

You know it baby.... Johnnie Magic!

Johnnie Up Everybody!

Click HERE to view full screen images as a slide show.
(Look for “slideshow” in the upper right area of the page.)

Ron Tomczik and C.J. Lyngen at Homecoming in 2008

As the September calender clicks forward to October that wonderful time of year is upon us as the fall colors burst, SJU class reunions are readied and the highpoint of University activity and Johnnie 2009 Homecoming is launched.

If you’re looking for a spot to grab a bite before the Johnnie vs Royal football game, swing into the Science Center Parking Lot above the south endzone for one of Johnnie Red’s tantilizing burgers(ground round is raging throughout the metro restaurant scene and the Stiftungsfest Burger is one not to miss!)or one of Veek’s wild rice brats – a specialty from Thielen Meats in Little Falls! 

If you care to hang out with friends bring a tasty treat to share  and also consider contributing to support the family of the late Jim Goodman ’84, a Johnnie wrestler, Alumni Board member and chapter volunteer who left a wife and three daughters when he suddenly passed away last year. 

Start your morning with a swing through our beautiful campus, stop by the Homecoming Stiftungsfestivities for some cheer and get your hands on one of the lovely “Feed The Rat” T-shirts  available at our Johnnie Pregaming event.

Remember to look for our blue-clad “Game Day Hosts” who’ll have useful tips when “toasting” with friends and please be discreet while observing campus rules regarding open containers.

Grills open at 10:00am with activity beginning at 9:00am!

 The SJU Alumni Association is selling T-Shirts for Homecoming. Find out how to get yours!

From the SJUUUN #2:

• $10/ea. – cash sales preferred! Personal checks made payable to the order of (name of Board Member) will also work! No credit card sales at this time. Did I mention cash sales preferred?
• Available through Board Members who will be selling them at the Game on the 12th, at Stiftungsfestivities prior to the game, and at McKeown Center Grand Opening. (”Visit the Alumni Association tent on the track at the Palaestra end of Clemens Stadium“)
• Also available for order through Board Members who can arrange on per-order basis to rendezvous to deliver the shirts personally to them prior to or at the game on the 12th or at Homecoming.
• Assuming we sell out this first bunch (”quantities are limited – get them while you can!!”) we’ll get more for sales up to and at Homecoming
• We will have them for sale at our Alumni Association tent on the Tundra at Homecoming
• If you need custom shirts created for your own family/business usage, contact David Forster (Junior at SJU) for more info on the T-Spot: DRFORSTER@CSBSJU.EDU or 612-618-3983

Some more (and redundant) information from Aaron Smith via email:

Shirts are $10 – available:

• At Sfistungsfestivities prior to the game Saturday (Science Lot)
• At the Alumni/JClub tent throughout the game
• From handsome salesmen around campus throughout the day Saturday
• At our Alumni Association tent on the Tundra

Other locations may be identified prior to Oct. 3, but these are the basics.

We will have XXL sizes available by Homecoming. (S/M/L/XL/XXL)

And finally, the shirts in action: