The Johnnies have a perfect 1-0 record.

Thanks to everyone for showing up at the tailgate. Special thanks, again, to Johnnie Red for the legendary Stiftungsfest burgers.

Photos by: Patrick Maurer (SJU ‘89), Jeff Sowden (Johnnie Dad), Ryan Ward and Tim Ward (SJU ‘78)

Click HERE to view full screen images as a slide show.
(Look for “slideshow” in the upper right area of the page.)

Photo by Maurer

As Johnnie fans lay waste to their summer of 2009, visions of boating, lake time, cabin frolicking and barbecues laden with bratwurst, meat market specials and corn on the cob give way to dreams of an approaching season of stalwart efforts by the heavily talented defensive unit.

Trailing its way into the psyche of SJU fans is a renewed hope of offensive reliability and excitement productive enough to keep pace with their brother defenders credited with winning so many games in past seasons.

If the slow start of the defense, multiple defensive injuries and a suddenly interesting offensive attack are accurate indicators, then 2009 has begun in wildly unlikely fashion.

With SJU trailing 17 – 0 well into the 2nd quarter it appeared as though Johnnie defenders would not be counted on Saturday to hold down the UW-RF Falcons and their dream to win their home opener at soon to be renovated Ramer Field.

Luckily on this day however sharp shooting QB Joe Boyle and senior wide receiver Ben Vanderheyden, who worked throughout the summer perfecting their passing game, decided to reincarnate a simpler time when Johnnie offenses were considered gluttonous with productivity.

Firing passes with authority and exclusively from under center QB Boyle reached WR Vanderheyeden with scoring passes of 24 and 46 yards to pull the Johnnies within 3 points at the half. Had senior Russell Gliadon converted on an attempted 30 yard field early on, the game would have been tied.

The choice to forgo establishing a starting quarterback in ’08 was a critical error which bore compounded indenture and controversy throughout. The same decision awaits offensive coordinator Jimmy Gagliardi only this time it involves his roster heavy in talented running backs.

With an All-American Chris Moore ‘00 like flash around right end in the 4th quarter, Johnnie senior Kellen Blaser surprised everyone on the field and in the bleachers with his unlikely scoring sprint. Returning starter Jakob Reding provides durability despite a 3rd quarter fumble which completely brought the game to a standstill. Toss in frosh Steve Johnson for speed and you have your early season backfield.

No dreamin’ required.

Big Plays

1. QB Joe Boyle to WR Ben Vanderheyden’s 46 TD reception to pull within 3 points at the half at the end of the 1st half.
2. DE Kyle Schroeder’s sack of River Falls QB Ryan Luessenheide late in the 4th quarter to lock up the win for the Johnnies.
3. Illegal crack back block on UWRF as River Falls was driving the ball late in the game trailing by 4 points.  The crackback negated a critical 1st down reception from UWRF Tight End Ryan Hansen (which was subsequently called back by the penalty).

Top Newcomers

1. Freshman RB Steve Johnson from Mahtomedi had 7 carries for 44 yards and looked like he will be a key cog in the running game for years to come.
2. Freshman DB Alex Powell stepped into the left cornerback spot after Adam Weber had to leave the game with a knee injury.  He looked poised, showed impressive speed, and made several nice pass deflections.
3. Sophmore DE Griffin Hayes had a critical fumble recovery when the Johnnies desparately needed a turnover which led to the go-ahead touchdown.  He was around the football all day long.

Biggest Disappointments

1. The SJU Defense really had a tough day.  River Falls was controlling the line of scrimmage and QB Luessenheide was able to break containment several times creating big plays with his legs and through the air.
2. The Johnnie Offensive Line was pushed around all day by the smallish (by WIAC standards) Falcon D-Line.  Joe Boyle was under pressure most of the day when he dropped back to pass.  Controlling the line of scrimmage is where games are won/lost.
3. Several Johnnies were injured in the game.  DB Adam Weber was carted off by what appeared to be a severe knee injury and then LB Ethan Eid was tended to shortly thereafter.

Keep It Coming

1. The 1 yard dive play is clearly not working.  Spread out the field (hush maybe bring back the Diamond formation) and move Joe Boyle out of the pocket.  The Johnnies had their way with River Falls via the air yesterday.  The options throwing the ball are endless.  SJU isn’t fooling anybody using the dive play like Concordia-Moorhead does.  The Johnnies are a throw 1st team to set up the run.
2. Use depth at positions to keep everyone fresh all the time and which also gets players experience in the case of injuries.  I thought it was tremendous to see so many guys getting playing time at running back.  Clearly no one has stood out to take the #1 reins, but all the guys who got carries (Reding, Blaser, Johnson, etc) showed they are more than capable of filling the role well.
3. The Johnnie crowd attendance at the tailgate/game was outstanding.  I would say it was 3 to 1 Johnnies fans.  It was nice to see people coming early to partake in the tailgating before the game.  Everyone is always welcome and the food/beverages/camaraderie are second to none at the Division 3 level.

Email me with your questions/comments to touchdowntommy@johnniefootball.com.

As the 2009 campaign kicks-off this weekend in River Falls one very positive aspect of the this year’s team will be that the Johnnie Nation not have to endure the frustration of a revolving door at the QB position. The 2009 team will be lead by our very own Joe Boyle (wearing #9) who comes into this year as the lone returning starter (both Jordan Hansel and Michael Crees elected not to join the team this year).

One of the many constants with Johnnie Football is that the team is usually fairly well established at many (if not most) of the positions, and in many cases even more so at the skill positions. The 2008 QB rotation was an aberration and too be honest did not produce the kind of offensive year that most of us have become accustomed to seeing from the Johnnies. While each of the three young men in question had to do the proverbial “look over your shoulder” routine for much of the first part of the season it was Joe Boyle who came off of the bench in the Tommie game to lead us to yet another victory over those %*%#@$# Tommies(as my Dad, Col. HF Hacker SJU ’62 refers to that school located in St Paul).

And I do not want to hear anything about the officiating at the end of the 2008 game either! This is the School that welcomed us to the biggest and most Historic MIAC game of the 2008 season with purple signs that cried out” No tailgating or Alcoholic beverages”! Yet another stellar example of Tommie hospitality. I know that at this year’s game in Collegeville such pathetic displays will not take place! All (fans, opponents, parents and so forth) are welcome to enjoy the cuisine and beverages provided at the tailgate in the Science Center Lot. Heck you may even get a free ticket from a Johnnie faithful if that person has one to spare, regardless of your allegiance!

But, back to the point at hand, as it were. As 2009 is a new season it is time to go back to what makes Johnnie Football successful. Simple and effective plays executed by Johnnie players who are stable and secure in their positions and abilities both on and off the field of play. And when it comes to who should lead the team on the field I cannot think of a young man who exemplifies what being a Johnnie means (off the field) more so than our own #9 Joe Boyle. And while I want to see him light up the MIAC with strikes to any and all Johnnie receivers I am more pleased to say that during my interactions with the young Mr. Boyle I see that we have yet another active Johnnie who completely gets what it means to be part of the Johnnie Nation. He knows that the good of the all far outweighs any personal accolades. Joe knows that it is an honor and privilege to wear the Johnnie uniform each Saturday and enter Clemens Stadium to the roar of some 12,000 or so of the most fervent fans College Football has ever seen. And even during last year, when he come have become disheartened and exhibited some frustrations all Joe would say is that anything he could do on or off the field to help the team succeed was what was important, and it was his honor to be a Johnnie Football player. This is exactly the kind of leadership we need from our starting QB on the Field, and more importantly the type of person we want representing all that is SJU and the Johnnie Nation!

And while all of us in the Johnnie Nation appreciate and have a kind eye for all of this year’s players it is a comforting and secure notion to know that in 2009(both on and off the field)….Number 9 is Number 1!

I know I speak for all in the Johnnie Nation when I offer our sincere thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Boyle for sending Joe to Collegeville. It is our honor to have him as one of us.

The Johnnie Nation has been in an off season slumber far too long! The time has come for Johnnie Football Kick-off ! It’s the Falcons of River Falls, and undoubtedly it is time to JOHNIE UP!

Find out who Finsleft likes on offense and who TDT thinks should be running the football. With a full stable of new blood at running back look for Coach John Gagliardi to establish his running game early. Johnnie D should be anchored by All-American Nick Gunderson and small college wonderboy Ryan Wimmer.

Receive all your game and tailgate updates at twitter.com/finsleft

If the Falcons football team were a movie, they’d probably be Groundhog Day—the team is coming off its fifth straight 3-7 finish, including four straight 2-5 records in conference play. The then-#4 Johnnies welcomed the unranked Falcons to Collegeville in the second week of the 2006 season with a 41-9 drubbing, but the last two meetings between the teams have been much more competitive.

In the 2007 matchup in River Falls, the unranked Falcons held a 10-0 halftime lead over then-#3 St. John’s. The Johnnies rallied to score two offensive touchdowns and a defensive score in the third quarter to win 21-10, but they were outgained by UW-River Falls that day, 344 yards to 315 yards.

The two teams met in Week 2 of the 2008 season on a miserable afternoon in Collegeville. The cool, rainy weather grounded both teams’ passing attack, which proved to be a major problem for the Falcons, who typically relied on quarterback Storm Harmon and star receiver Michael Zweifel for much of their offense. Still, unranked UW-River Falls was able to score a touchdown with just over 13 minutes remaining in the 4th quarter to pull with 4 points of the then-#7 Johnnies at 10-6. St. John’s used two late rushing scores to make the final tally 22-6, but the score wasn’t indicative of how close the game had been.

Once again, the Johnnies come into their showdown with the unranked Falcons with a lofty spot in the polls, currently ranked #13 by D3Football.com. The Falcons were picked by the WIAC coaches to finish 7th in the 8-team conference. UW-River Falls returns 8 offensive starters and 6 defensive starters, including senior safety Ben Arata, a 2008 second-team All-WIAC selection.

On offense, the Falcons have two enormous holes to fill. They lost their leading passer, Storm Harmon, to graduation. In his place is junior signal caller Ryan Luessenheide, who attempted only 4 passes as Harmon’s backup next season. He will need to contend with an experienced, aggressive St. John’s defense featuring 9 senior starters. Also missing is the offense’s playmaker of a year ago, receiver Michael Zweifel, who left the program to transfer to the University of Dubuque. While the Johnnies were able to limit his production last season (he had just 2 catches for 38 yards), Zweifel totaled nearly 1,000 receiving yards on the season and his 79 catches were more than 3 times as many as any other Falcon. He had 4 of the team’s 9 receiving touchdowns. Senior Eric Brewster and freshman Wade Schlichting are expected to flank senior tight end Ryan Hanson on Saturday. The trio combined to contribute 10 catches and 110 receiving yards to the Falcons’ cause last season.

The Falcons are also expected to start a newcomer at running back, sophomore Taylor Edwards, though the second leader in all-purpose yards from 2008, sophomore running back/kick returner Greg Klingelhutz, is with the team and should see action as well. While the Falcons are starting a bevy of new offensive skill position players, and they certainly will miss Harmon and Zweifel, the team wasn’t an offensive juggernaut in the first place—they only scored 20.2 points per game in 2008 and were outscored in every quarter on the season.

As mentioned above, senior free safety Ben Arata keys a defense that returns its two leading tacklers from 2008. Arata lead the team with 4 interceptions and was tied for the team lead with 66 tackles. The other co-leader in tackles, senior Cole Lowell, returns to lead the linebacking corps. The Falcons had a lot of difficulty getting to the quarterback last season, only recording 13 sacks—and their projected starters on Saturday only recorded 4 sacks all of 2008. They shouldn’t prove to be much of a test for a Johnnie offensive line that had issues last year and needs to get off to a good start this year.

Last season, the UW-River Falls defense allowed 28.2 points per game and nearly 400 yards of total offense. This should be one of the softer defenses the Johnnies see this season.

While the Falcons have given the Johnnies a scare early in each of the last two seasons, they appear to be a team without an offensive identity and a pourous defense. No WIAC team should ever be taken lightly, but the UW-River Falls Falcons appear to be a manageable season-opening foe on what should be a beautiful, sunny afternoon in Western Wisconsin. If the Johnnies are able to get a big lead early and sort through some of their young unknowns at running back, wide receiver, and defensive back, it just might be a perfect start to the season.

It’s hard to believe (a) that SJU football begins this Saturday, and (b) that I’ve let this long go by without getting out the first of this year’s version of Unauthorized Unofficial Undergound News. Because I’m busy, info for the game is needed ASAP, and also because sloth has edged out avarice and lust as my most favored Deadly Sin, this will be necessarily short.

We’ll start with the bare essentials and then work from there until I leave for lunch with Al Richie SJP ‘60/UST ‘64 and his second cousin Mike Ricci ‘62, something the three of us have enjoyed every two or three months since Al’s mom’s funeral about three years ago. The outings can best be described lately as “Adventures in Eye-talian Eating.” Today we go to the newly re-opened Yarusso’s on St. Paul’s East Side. Last time we discovered by accident DeGidio’s on W. 7th when we learned that Mancini’s isn’t open for lunch.

Okay. This Saturday, September 5, we meet UW-River Falls in River Falls, WI at 1 pm. For many Twin Citians it’s probably a closer drive than up to Collegeville and the weather should be just grand, so I’m hopeful we’ll fill up the Falcons’ stadium with Johnnie Red garb. I haven’t had the time to read up on our prospects via the repeatedly excellent insights/reporting of the newly-wed Frank Rajkowski, writing for the St. Cloud Times or even our rabid friends of JohnnieFootball.com, so I’ll fall back on what I hold as past common wisdom, to wit — the Falcons are usually middle of the road in the very tough Wisconsin Intercollegiate Athletic Conference, deservedly named one of strongest in Division III. Our next game, on September 12 at St. John’s, will be against UW-Eau Claire, a notch or two (or even three some years) above River Falls. UW-EC beats us on occasion; UW-RF does not…yet anyway, although they led us 10 to zip at halftime two years ago and scared the bejeezus out of everyone wearing red. We pulled it out the second half with 21 unanswered points after adjustments and perhaps Gag “explaining the matter” to our guys. Because this will be our first game, and because of our lack of contact by primarily the offense, we always seem to play tentatively the first game of the season and, so, like John Gagliardi, I’m always a bit squeamish about our prospects. Guardedly optimistic and forever hopeful, but certainly not cocksure, I’ll pull a score out of my posterior regions and wishfully say 28-6, SJU. Be sure to check www.JohnnieFootball.com and see what those guys are saying a day or two before the game.

By the way, this year the JF.com crowd will be posting the Underground on their very nice site (with thanks to webmaster Joel Schou ‘03 [as in skow]), so any of you who would like to view the UUN with vastly improved graphics are urged to bookmark JF.com and in the future at some point when you receive word from me, check it out there. In the meantime I’ll keep sending the entire newsletter out the traditional, low-tech way.

Getting back to River Falls, what I recall of our ultimately pleasant excursion to western Wisconsin two years ago, not necessarily in this order, are the parking fees of 2 or 3 bucks charged us by UW-RF (I understand parking is free for all other games); the premium charged at the ticket office for the game — the usual charge being $5 and for that game only it was $7 (or something like that); and the absolutely delightful pre- and apres game party hosted by Tom SJP ‘66/SJU ‘70 and Mary ‘70 Weiss. They live in River Falls, Tom works at the University and is also a deacon assisting at the campus Newman Center.

I heard from Tom late last week where he wrote that unfortunately they will not be able to entertain us again this year due to a family emergency: their son, Tom, Jr. ‘94, suffered serious injuries in Iraq. Here’s Tom’s note:

Bob, We will not be hosting a party for the UWRF – SJU game next week. Our oldest son Tom II (SJU’94), a Major in the Army, was seriously injured in an accident in Iraq on July 27th! A badly broken leg, 3 skull fractures, a crack in the C-3 vertebrae, a totally dislocated right knee, a moderate Traumatic Brain Injury and loss of hearing in his left ear!!!

Mary and I flew to Fort Sam Houston TX immediately to be with him and a few days ago I flew back, after he was discharged from Brooke Army Medical Center to the Fisher house, a sort of halfway house for wounded warriors. Mary stayed with him and will until he is released back to work. He has had 4 surgeries so far and one more on his left knee is tentatively scheduled for 25 September. And of course more rehab after that!! It could take another 3 months or more!

So…………… No party, but I will be at the game and hope to see all of you then!!

and then Tom added later:

There is a bar downtown called Bo’s and Mine, they serve Rush River Beer on tap and I think it is an outstanding local brew! If you like I will contact them and arrange for a section for Bloody Marys at about 11AM and then again for supper around 4pm??

Well, now…that sounds pretty good to me, at least for a brief time before the game; then I’d like to show up at Mike Fahey’s ‘75 traveling tailgate show, the one and only Stiftungsfestivities, found somewhere in the stadium parking lot, typically beginning qbout 10 am. Look for a bunch of red-clad Jays and Bees gathered around some charcoal grills. Everyone is invited and I urge newcomers and congenitally shy alums/guests to sample Mike’s Stiftungsfest burgers…a free will offering is appreciated but Mike says it’s not mandatory. (Here’s a bit about Mike and the tailgates)

And everyone’s invited to sample the wares at Bo’s and Mine before and after as well. I hope to see many of you at either the game/tailgate or at the bar. Johnnie Up, everyone.

In the meantime, our best wishes, thoughts and prayers for a quick recovery to Tom, Jr. It’s news like this that reminds us what’s really important in life. Tom’s entire Johnnie/Bennie family is with him in his long path back to health.

Speaking earlier of the good Judge Fahey, here’s his annual poesy paean to celebrate the Jays’ new season and, we trust, continued winning ways:

2009 – As Always, The Johnnies Will Shine!

The Stiftungsfest, Minnesota’s oldest celebration, starting in 1861;
a tradition of fun, music and food, tomorrow, 8/28, it will begin.

Another tradition, Minnesota’s oldest coach, starting at SJU in 1953;
John Gagliardi, the most wins and years of coaching, on 9/5 we will see-

The Johnnies run on the field in River Falls to start the season of 2009;
returning home the following Saturday with Eau Claire, the Wisc schools will cry!

We lose to the Johnnies again and again, why can’t we be like Whitewater in 2008?
Cry again this year cheeseheads, losing the games and Brett Favre, it is your fate.

On to the MIAC, parity like last year into the final weeks or a team with losses of zero?
UST, Concordia and Carleton tied for second in `08; again in `09, no #1 heroes.

Number one will be the Johnnies with the goal of no losses for the season prior to `10;
the best and most fans in D3, the Stiftungsfestivities, and the J-Club, celebrating 5 x 10.

50 years of the alumni lettermen’s club at SJU, supporting the Johnnies since 1959;
add the addition to the press box at Clemens stadium and the field continues to shine.

Radiance when the Johnnies run onto the field this fall, begin the season of 2009.
A team of winners, a coach with more record wins, another MIAC crown, SJU shines.

By Mike Fahey, aka Johnnie Red

(Editor’s Comment: Touching, ain’t it?)

* * * *

Here’s the 2009 SJU Football Schedule for planning your fall; all games begin at 1 pm; home games in bold face:

1. Sept. 5 — UW-River Falls at River Falls, WI
2. Sept. 12 — UW-Eau Claire at Collegeville
3. Sept. 19 — Concordia at Moorhead
4. Sept. 26 — Gustavus Adolphus at St. Peter
5. Oct. 3 — Bethel (Homecoming) at Collegeville
6. Oct. 10 — Hamline at St. Paul
7. Oct. 17 — St. Thomas (Booo!) at Collegeville
8. Oct. 24 — St. Olaf (Family Weekend) at Collegeville
9. Nov. 7 — Augsburg (at Metrodome) in Minneapolis
10. Nov. 14 — Carleton at Collegeville

(What I think: This is a pretty friendly schedule for SJU. With the exception of the always very tough Cobbers up in Moorhead, most of the stiffest competition — at least now and on paper — seems to be facing us at home. What does anyone else think?)

* * * *

Listening at home —

Again this year we’re fortunate to have that great radio team from The Bear — WBHR AM 660 in Greater Minnesota, AM 1330 in the Twin Cities, and AM 1270 in Southern Minnesota — broadcasting Johnnie football fortunes. Led by golden throated Mark Lewandowski, the team includes color guy Bryan Backes ‘87, and on-the-field voices, father-son Mike ‘77 and Charlie ‘03 Carr.

For those of you far away — like Drake Dierkhising SJP ‘59/SJU ‘63 in Sonoma, CA and Bill Carney ‘66 in Ft. Lauderdale, FL and quite possibly Bill Draves ‘64 in Hot Flash, AZ — it is possible to listen to live streaming of the radio broadcasts over your computer, but I’ll be darned if I know how to do it. Try calling the SJU alumni office for directions (800-635-7303), or if you’re really adept, perhaps explore www.gojohnnies.com — the answer is probably there.

* * * *

D3Football.com’s preseason standings:

No surprise for the first two — Mount Union (1) and UW-Whitewater (2)…it’s been that way for several years now. The D3football.com Top 25 is voted on by a panel of 25 coaches, Sports Information Directors and media members from across the country, and is published weekly. You can check out the top 25 plus by visiting: http://www.d3football.com/top25/2009/week-0

For those who just want the crux, here it is: UW-Stevens Point is #5; St. John’s is #13; St. Thomas is #22; and receiving some votes are Central (of Iowa); UW-Eau Claire; UW-LaCrosse; and — gasp! — Augsburg with one vote. See what I mean about the WIAC? They’ve got two highly ranked and two more well thought of. Of course, in reality we all know that the WIAC is comprised of the moral (and physical) equivalent of our state’s Division II schools.

* * * *

The Immutable Laws of Applied Terror —

(This hard-won knowledge is presented as a service to all current Johnnies and Bennies from your CSB/SJU brethren and cistern.)

First Law of Applied Terror: When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.

Second Law of Applied Terror: The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.

Third Law of Applied Terror: 80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read.

Fourth Law of Applied Terror: Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor’s course. (This one still haunts me 45 years later.)

Fifth Law of Applied Terror: The night before the English History mid-term, your biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.

Sixth Law of Applied Terror: If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

Seventh Law of Applied Terror: If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.
(This one may have a corollary featuring too much time spent at Sal’s or the La.)

* * * *

From Ron Sandeen ‘57, New Hope, MN, who earlier emailed me briefly that he had fallen off his roof:

Hey, Wick…..how’s everything? I have now been home from the nursing home and rehab center for about a week…..now having home therapy twice a week. I’m still using a walker but also starting to use just a cane part of the time……have to get ready for SJU football, right? Yeah, a total of eight weeks residing in a nursing home! What a deal! I appreciated your e-mails and look forward to seeing you in the near future when we can enjoy a cold one together. Best regards, Ron

(Editor’s Note: While I’m so very pleased my good pal Ron is on the mend I have to ask: What the h*ll was he doing up on his roof at his age!?!)

* * * *

(Note: In lieu of Lindsay Novak Good’s ‘06 UUN Health Notes this issue, I offer this) —

What Are You Thinking?

Do you think more about good food to eat or more about what you are supposed to avoid? The first way of thinking leads to fulfillment and satisfaction, making you likely to eat less. The other leads to guilt and regret and the likelihood to eat more — something all of us want to avoid.

Here’s what you can do to develop a healthier attitude toward food.

First, think about good food to eat like more healthy protein. Eggs from free range chickens and grass-fed beef or bison are good choices. Next, eat more vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds. You can also enjoy a bit of dark chocolate now and again. A glass of organic wine most days won’t hurt either.

What should you do when your favorite foods aren’t too healthy? Don’t deprive yourself of them — just treat yourself occasionally.

According to Dr. Al Sears, “Having a healthy attitude toward food is as simple as enjoying the foods you eat, taking your time to taste them, and not worrying over the meal in front of you as you eat.”

Well said Dr. Sears.

[Source: Early to Rise "Total Health Breakthroughs" newletter, Melanie Segala, Executive Editor]

(Further Comment: Although I haven’t spoken to her recently about it, I hope Lindsay has the time to continue her health and nutrition column again this year.)

* * * *

Ted Kennedy’s Letter to Pope Benedict: Angling for an Amicus Brief to St. Peter
http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/08/31/ted-kennedys-letter-to-pope-benedict-angling-for-an-amicus-bri/

(Editor’s Note: What a great idea…I never thought of lobbying a pontiff over salvation. Beats messing around with local or regional hierarchy.)

* * * *

Religious Life Quickies (a continuing series) —

As a Dominican sister, I lived in a convent named for a deceased pope. One day while I was wearing contemporary clothes instead of my habit, I drove into a gas station to get the communal car filled up.

After the young attendant topped off the tank, he walked toward my car window to return my credit card. It was clear from his furrowed brow that he had something on his mind. The young man looked at me shyly and pointed to the convent’s name, John XXIII Hall, imprinted on the card.

“Pardon me,” he asked hesitantly, “but how do you pronounce your husband’s middle name?”

* * * *

The “Why We’re Never Going To Win” Department (another continuing series) —

He said: “The problem is that I’m a perfectionist and you’re not.”

She said: “Exactly! That’s why you married me and I married you.”

* * * *

Theology/Philosophy Majors’ Department —

An old man visits a cemetery where only the wealthiest are buried. He walks past mausoleums large enough to hold entire families. They’re all very impressive structures, like Greek temples with windows by Tiffany, gold leaf, the works. The old man looks, sighs, and says, “Now that’s living!”

* * * *

From Marilee Giere, a friend from St. Cecilia’s —

I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket. Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.

I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels [Ed's Note: You can subsititute Olde Johnnie Ale] and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, and carried on my fishing with the frog.

A little later I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.

* * * *

Well, this is quite enough for today. I wish our Johnnies well during their excursion to River Falls and I hope many of you will try to make it out to support our gang vocally with great joy.

Best wishes to you all,

Bob Wicker SJP ‘60/SJU ‘64, St. Paul, MN;
651-699-4697
theowick@aol.com

Johnnie Offensive Coordinator Jimmy Gagliardi

As the Johnnies prepare for another season, offensive coordinator Jim Gagliardi is looking for his team to look much better this year. Changes in the offensive line, promising new running backs and receivers, and the absence of a quarterback controversy will all “come together” promising a “more complete team” for 2009.

The line suffered a career ending injury to senior guard Erik Kottom. Greg Sowden has shifted over to right guard but is doubtful for the first game with a foot injury. Blaine Anderson is at left guard, Tim Juba returns at center, Jeff Gilbertson works the left tackle spot, and Drew Percival’s 6’ 9” frame is blocking at right tackle.

Last year

“Last year, we were criticized for our offensive line, but that line and the one this year is every bit as good as a lot of lines we have had over the years.” Gagliardi said at a recent practice. “The line had to deal with a couple of issues last year. One is that our quarterbacks didn’t see everything they needed to see, another is our running backs weren’t helping the line look better.”

The running back corps this year promises veteran experience, youthful speed and size. “We just haven’t had a running attack that was dynamic and multi-faceted. We need 3-4 running backs that can run, catch and throw blocks.” With veterans Jake Reding, Harry Awe and Kellen Blaser returning this year, the new comers will have plenty of experience to learn from. “Reding has a big role for us this year”, Gagliardi said, “not an every down type role, but in certain situations he can do a lot of things, even tight end on occasion.”

While the freshman running backs have much promise, Gagliardi is cautious about creating unreasonable expectations: “The freshman are behind right now, but that is OK. These guys just have to play, feel comfortable, and learn our system without putting pressure on them. We need to see how our backs will perform in these early games.”

Returning receiver Ben Vanderheyden and tight end Josh Overman will bring experience and good solid receiving skills. “Vandy is a great possession-type receiver, and we need to pair him up with some guys who can fly.” New to the receiving group is Andrew Rotshafer, Mike Bonynge, and Sam Peterson. All three bring speed and a perfect balance to the downfield offense.

Joe Boyle returns as the starting quarterback. With the improvements in the offensive line, promise in the running and receiving threats and stability at the quarterback spot, the Johnnies will begin the 2009 season with new, improved weapons and a more balanced attack.

Jeff Sowden is a frequent contributor to JohnnieFootball.com primarily with his photography, however this week he debuts his first written piece. If his name is familiar it’s because his son Greg will be counted on to anchor the Johnnie offensive line.

Are you ready for some football?

The countdown to kickoff is pushing hard towards Saturday’s Johnnie football clash with Fred Falcon in River Falls, Wisconsin. The weather report for western Wisconsin on Saturday looks to be fabulous for a Labor Day football weekend and a renewal of taunts between The MIAC & The WIAC.

Not only are the Johnnies beginning their season so are the hungry fans and writers at JohnnieFootball.com, eager to renew Saturday traditions of grilled Stiftungsfest and sudsy cold beverages, welcoming back the dream of small college football domination!

Little Smokey Mike Fahey AKA Johnnie Red and his renown grill team will be at the Ramer field parking lot beginning at 9:00am with charcoal lit and “Stiftungsfest” cooking at 10:30am. Bring an hors d’ oeuvre, dersert or meat to share with fellow Johnnie and Falcon fans and a red cup to carry your beverage.

Although we’re aware of no official policy regarding tailgating at UW-River Falls, our most recent trip in 2007 was without incident save for River Falls Athletic Directors requesting payment for the picnic table we used.

Leading NCAA Division III in attendance once again in 2008 means not only supporting our Johnnies with passion and intensity, but also with respect and adherence to the wishes of our River Falls host. Hint – let’s not get removed from the property before we ever enter Ramer Field!

Johnnie Up Everybody!