And for me this proposed definition would be just fine. Being a second generation Johnnie (My Dad is Col H.F Hacker ’62) who is married to a Bennie (Catherine CSB ’87) and has a daughter who will (hopefully) be CSB class of 2020 you can see where my loyalties were nurtured and where without a doubt they lye.

I was originally introduced to the Johnnie family during my childhood via acquaintances with a very special group of Johnnies. This group, which includes my own Father, also counts as members: Col. Norm Lorsung, Mr. Gary Chalupsky, Mr. Jack Curtis and Mr. Denny Weimerskirch, or as they are more commonly known in Johnnie lore “The Council”.

And to this day, some 48 years after he left Collegeville my Dad will say this about the above mentioned legends of the 56321. “Those are my Johnnie buddies; they are the best damn guys on the planet.” And I would venture a bet that any of us in the Johnnie Nation, regardless of our generation can say the exact same thing about our Johnnie buddies. It is without a doubt I can say that about the class of 1962 and my class of 1988.

In my household when my Daughter hears names such as Mike Carlson, Dean Danninger, and Bob Kapla, she may give her Dad a bit of a look and a sigh (typical teenager attitude now that she is 13) but deep down as she completely understands that these guys are Dad’s Johnnie buddies, and they are the best damn guys on the planet! Why do all who have graduated from SJU and therefore proudly call themselves Johnnies have this attitude?

Well because as all in the Johnnie Nation already know, there is nothing that can compare to those life long friends ones makes during those magical four years spent at Collegeville. As a group we lived thru all of the trappings of becoming adults (or so we thought at the time), skipped classes together, went to the LA and Sal’s together, hitched hiked home from St. Joe in the dead of Winter together, and usually (and dare I say luckily for many of us) found our spouses over at St Ben’s together!

Others familiar with the Johnnie Nation sometimes do not fully understand how Johnnies are. I have a very good friend (she is married to a Johnnie) who likes to say this about SJU and being a Johnnie: “it is not a school, you all are not Alumni, and it is one big cult of insanely dedicated and loyal (to one and another) guys!” Maybe this is what Webster’s should publish in their next edition under Family? I am not sure about all of you but I am 100% good to go with this.

Johnnie Nation, it is our FAMILY weekend at the best zip code in the world. It is time to get back to our HOME, so come see the best damn buddies you have and will ever have, come have a ice cold beverage in a red cup, enjoy some burgers and wings, then let’s cheer on the 2010 edition of the Johnnie Football Team to a victory of the Golden Gusties from St, Peter!

The 2010 Johnnies and the Nation that is Unrivaled only have 4 more games, over the next 5 weeks to prove to that is NOT the year that everyone can jump on the “let’s beat the Johnnies” bandwagon! A final (overall) record of 7-3 is now the result that all 184 members of the 2010 squad are now intently and completely focused on. Hey the Golden Gophers would sell their soul for a record this good, yea like that would ever happen down at that alleged institution of higher learning!

As the Team and its Nation “enjoy” this week’s Bye, thanks to Macalester….seriously can’t we just ask them to leave the MIAC entirely, if they are going to pick and choose the MIAC sports that they wish to participate in I say we get to pick and choose if we WANT them around at all! But while all who support Johnnie Football take a bit of a break and catch our (somewhat disappointed) breath it is important to remember that not only is the 2010 Season coming to an end but also the career’s of some our most productive and favorite Johnnie Football Players.

After the Johnnies finish pounding those pukes from Piper land( more about Hamline during game week) we will be required to sadly say goodbye to many Johnnie Seniors who have all represented SJU in stellar fashion. Specifically the Johnnie Nation will no longer to witness the Defense Killing and Crushing ‘em each Saturday!

Unfortunately at the end of this campaign we will see our own #97 Kyle Schroeder (Killer) and #13 John Stanton (Bone Crusher) close out their stellar Johnnie Football careers. Therefore it is time for all who love and support Johnnie Football to take a moment and thank these fine young men who have been defensive stalwarts for the last couple of years while their tremendous Johnnie Parents have been beyond dedicated to Johnnie Football and of course the tailgate!

Few can compare to the Carmel Rolls and Bloody Marys supplied by Dan and Annette Schroeder. Clark and Noel Stanton have logged more miles in the air than most Astronauts! But amazingly the Stanton’s always seem to land in time that allows Clark to treat all at the tailgate to another interesting brew of his choosing!

Success on the Field during the Game is desired by all who support Johnnie Football. But for the Nation it is far more important that our Johnnie players handle themselves in a manner that would make any of us proud to consider them our own flesh and blood.

Our own Killer and Crusher have always demonstrated behaviors that are the text book definition of what being a Johnnie is all about. These young men have continued the pre game tradition of coming by the tailgate after Church /Breakfast to check in with the generations of Johnnies in the Science Lot and each week parting with the comment “thank you for coming to support us today”. Textbook Johnnie, pure and simple.

Post game always means photos and game “talk”, no matter the outcome. For example the post Tommie/Johnnie game saw both Killer and Bone Crusher graciously partake in a photo session with a 10 year boy ( whose dream it is to be a Johnnie football player) but also chat with him about what position he wants to play at SJU and did he have fun at the Game. Textbook Johnnie behavior yet again.

Sadly the clock is winding down and soon we will not get to see Killer and Crusher (we only call them by these names on game day Mrs. Schroeder and Stanton) either wreaking havoc on the line, making spectacular one handed interceptions, or laying hits so brutal that a comment “ooohhh, I seen it coming” has now become Johnnie Football lore!

Johnnie Nation as you watch the Johnnie Defense these final 4 games please loudly and proudly cheer on our own Killer and Bone Crusher. However in the end maybe just take time to meet them after a hard fought victory and warmly thank, not Killer and Bone Crusher, but Kyle Schroeder and John Stanton for being damn fine Johnnies!

Gentlemen, the Nation that is Unrivaled warmly welcomes you to our ranks and thanks you for your tremendous efforts. We are proud to call you fellow Johnnies.

Mid-October 2006 and I receive an acceptance letter from St. John’s University.  Most of my friends would take until May to decide.  Me?  I decided Johnnie-on-the-spot that SJU was the place for me.  My first Johnnie game as a “soon-to-be-Johnnie” was led by an opening 90 yard kickoff return for a touchdown by Brandon Royce-Diop.  Each and every second of it happened in slow motion.  Never before, and never to this day, have I had more goosebumps/chills than during that kick return.  I was going to be a Johnnie and at this moment I knew life in the 56321 would be four of the best years of my life.

Such was life as a Senior in High School and “soon-to-be-Johnnie”

Fast forward four years.  It is 4:00AM on a Monday morning and I am just closing my Advanced Accounting book.  I am practically asleep and I am not prepared for a 45 point consolidation question let alone the 125 point exam.

4 hours later I crawl into my first class of four.  These days are always the worst.  And by worst, I mean it is all over around 2:30PM when my body hits the couch for ESPN and a siesta.

Later in the night, I find myself dealing out the cards.  The bid gets to me and I declare Nula.  Nobody at the table likes it because this 250 point bid could win my team the game.  Being the Nula master, it was not a hard bid to accomplish.  Don’t worry though- it was just one game of many for the night.  What a contrast from the night before when I was stressing out over Advanced Accounting.

3:00AM on a Tuesday morning and we decide to put the cards away for the night.  The next day holds no class for me- just a few meetings and homework for the next full day of class.

Such is life in the 56321.

Life in the 56321

Instead of exams/homework there are deadlines.  Failure to hit these deadlines loses the trust of co-workers and puts your job in jeopardy.  Taking a midday nap most likely is not condoned in the workplace either.  Playing cards/watching a movie with best friends is a rare occasion when there is time to be spent with the family.

Such is life in the “real world” or close to it.

Johnnie Faithful

Whether you just got accepted and are coming to your first Johnnie game, a current college student cheering on your Johnnies, or an alumni coming back to relive the glory days, hopefully you will enjoy this weekend as a part of the Johnnie family.

And hopefully there will be a special moment that gives us all goosebumps again.

-PBJ

P.s.- the 2006 game referred to is none other than the 2006 Johnnie/Tommie game.  Guess who won?

PUREBRED PREDICTION (2-1 on the year):

This matchup, in front of a record crowd, will be no different than the prior two matchups which were separated by a combined 6 points, a fumble on the goal-line, and a dive across the pylon.

Similar to the game against the Auggies, the Johnnie D clearly does its homework and holds the Tommies to their lowest point total on the season.  The Johnnie O struggles early trying to pound the ball between the tackles where they have a clear size advantage.  This results in 3^rd and long situations leading to consecutive punts to start the game.  The next offensive possessions show a return to the good, unpredictable mix of play-calling which provides just enough offense to continue the Johnnie Homecoming winning streak dating back to 1994.

By the way, the Tommies come out of the gate thinking its Halloween and give the Johnnie D some trickery.  Fool us once, shame on you.  Fool us twice…YOU WILL NEVER FOOL US TWICE!  (watch for the fake option, pass)

Johnnies 24, Tommies 23

Johnnie/Tommie 2009

–Cesare Pavese, Poet

120 losses and 13 undefeated regular seasons in John Gagliardi’s 57 years coaching Johnnie football.  This past weekend’s loss opened up a wound that had yet to heal from the 2002 OT loss at Eau Claire.  No, the season is not over.  No, the Johnnies are not out of the Top 25 (#21).  Most important- no, life is not over.

Johnnie Pride

This Saturday, as you return to the 56321 (first or second time this season) you will pass under the footbridge and approach Exit 156 for Collegeville.  Upon this approach, what song will you be preparing to blast through your speakers?

Little Red Corvette?

Piano Man?

Africa?

Eye of the Tiger?

Don’t Stop Living in the Red?

Approaching Collegeville has always brought a two natural motions to my right hand: 1) hit “CD 1,” 2) flip to Track 1.  Out of my stereo comes a sweet tune with so many memories behind it- “It’s 9 o’clock on a Saturday, regular crowd shuffles in…”  Piano Man by Billy Joel.

Piano Man has been the song at CSB/SJU for years.  Sal’s and the La play it at closing time while Johnnies stand in boxers (…or briefs…or…) and sing out loud with the Bennies.  Johnnies play cards together late at night with Piano Man in the background.  Where there are memories, there is Piano Man…kind of…you get my point though.

Memories in the Making

As I’ve made my annual move-in trek to SJU the past four years, Piano Man has progressively meant more to me.  Before I even started at SJU, Piano Man was a song my family always listened to on road trips (yep, all CSB/SJU alums).  First-year move-in I remember listening to the song on my way up to SJU with mixed emotions of worry and excitement for college life.  Sophomore and Junior move-in were Piano Man blasting moments where being back on campus was met with windows down, thumb tapping, air guitar excitement.

Exiting and turning onto County Road 159 with Piano Man in the background was much different this year for my Senior move-in. Due to studying abroad in London, my hiatus this time around was nine months rather than the typical four month summer break. The memories attached to Piano Man now included my time abroad in Europe with 21 other Bennies/Johnnies along with my three years completed at CSB/SJU. Not only did I gain 21 great, new friends but I also learned about cultures in over 19 cities spread out over 8 different countries giving me a global perspective on life.

21 Bennies/Johnnies Studying in London- can you find PB&J?

As I revisit this campus after graduation for Johnnie football and other events, Piano Man will still be there to greet me with the memories of the great relationships and values I have gained at CSB/SJU.

So tap your thumbs on the steering wheel, air guitar on beat, or fly your hand out the window as you journey down County Road 159 reminiscing on all the great memories of your time at CSB/SJU whether as a student, a parent, an alum, a significant other to an alum, a fan, or all of the above.  It is these memories that we will forever remember and not the few days in which Johnnie football lost.

Enjoy the game!

PBJ

PUREBRED PREDICTION: JOHNNIES 24, COBBERS 14

Johnnies come into the game seeking a win to help erase last weekend’s loss.   Concordia continues its strong, physical play against the Johnnies but cannot generate enough offense to surpass the Johnnie D.

Ben Vanderhayden Goin' Playground vs BluGolds in '09

The year was 2002 and I was just starting 8^th grade at Our Lady of Grace in Edina.  At this point in my life, going to Johnnie football games meant checking the scoreboard off-and-on while playing football on the side.  Rarely did I see a play.  In fact, the only plays I saw were ones that involved: 1) Blake Elliot returning a punt/kick, 2) a late game comeback, or 3) overtime.  Oh, I forgot the plays I watched while my dad fished money for me out of his pocket for concessions. 

This Johnnie game was not right from the moment we left the front door.  Instead of driving north, we drove east to Eau Claire.  Instead of leaving at 10am, we left at 5pm.  Normally we would have a car full of CSB/SJU alums (my parents) and soon-to-be-alums (my siblings), but this time we had a car that consisted of my dad and I (Johnnie alum and future Johnnie) along with a Tommie alum and his son, Charlie (our good family friends).  This just did not make sense to my little 8^th grade mind.

Arriving at the stadium was the same as ever.  Dad forks up the cash to get me in the door and then we find a seat with our road-tripping friends.  Charlie and I immediately grab my football and run off to the sideline/auxiliary field.  We start by tossing the football around and practicing sideline catches like every other kid.  In the meantime, Eau Claire rolls up 21 points in the 1^st quarter.  Charlie starts talking trash because he knows no better than to not like the Johnnies thanks to his dad.  As he is trash talking, the Johnnie faithful, outnumbering the home fan base as always, is in dismay wondering what lies ahead in the 2002 season. 

The ugly 1^st quarter leaves Charlie and I disinterested so we challenge other kids on the field to a pick-up game.  Thankfully we have as many Johnnie kids as Blugold kids so there is no crossing of enemy lines.  In the background the Johnnie defense is shutting out the Blugolds as the Johnnie offense mounts a comeback.  Just like our Johnnie team, my team begins mounting a comeback of our own against the Little Blugolds.  Tie game, first one to 7, and my team has the ball.  Little Blugolds look like they will be using their blitz.  This means my lightning fast teammate, wearing a #1 Johnnie football jersey, has just one kid on him.  I cadence, because that is what all kids do at that age, to let Johnnie #1 know to run a deep route on kid in blue shorts.  He does so and I throw a bomb into his hands for the victory. 

We all celebrate and quickly run to the sideline of the Johnnie/Blugold game because only 30 seconds remain and the Johnnies are down 7.  Dejavu is settling in to us Little Johnnies as Keating passes to Denne for 20 yards to the Bluegold 3.  Three plays later, Keating dives into the end zone to complete the Johnnie comeback and force Overtime.  Our hopes along with the rest of Johnnie faithful are killed when the Blugolds score on their first play from scrimmage and intercept the Johnnies first play from scrimmage in Overtime.  Game one was now in the books and it was the unfortunate result of a loss.

Since that night in 2002, the Johnnies have softened the wound with a victory in Eau Claire in 2005.  Overall in the time span, the Johnnies are 4-1 against the Blugolds outscoring them by only a combined 31 points in those 5 games.  The Johnnies offense looked back to normal racking up 56 points against Northwestern last weekend while allowing only 10 points.  Eau Claire beat Bethel (Tenn.) 35-31 while rushing for 220 yards and giving up 203 yards on the ground.  More on the upcoming battle against UW-Eau Claire tomorrow from Touchdown Tommy.

Purebred Prediction:

Johnnie O uses the running trio to run strong against the Blugolds.  On the other side of the ball, the Johnnie D loads up on the run forcing the Blugolds out of their comfort zone forcing a few key turnovers on the way.

Johnnies 38, Blugolds 21.           Matt Melsen – Pure Bred Johnnie -  SJU ‘2011 (PB&J)

Go Johnnie!

The 56321, Collegeville, SJU, School, the “Ville”, Harvard behind the pines, the Holy Land, and the greatest place on earth. These are just some of the titles that the Nation that is Unrivaled hangs on those beloved acres of land in Stearns County- where all of us spent the best four years of our lives. But in the end, for each and every Johnnie, it has always been and always will be HOME!

Now that this never ending off season is finally behind us, it is time to brush off the coolers, load up goodies to share, and make that most wonderful drive up 94 to the place that all Johnnies simply consider HOME.

It is time to renew those friendships with your Johnnie buddies (Fins, Johnnie Red, Carly, Wingman), it is time to show your kids where you lived, ate (the Refectory), and studied (okay- where you watched Bennies come down the stair case, aka the Library), and it is time to meet up again with all of those great folks that make the weekly trip from near and far to support Johnnie Football.

It is time to see folks like the Stanton’s, Johnsons, Boyle’s, Pederson’s and Schroeder’s to name a few. It is also time to welcome new members of the Nation to the Science Center lot. So come one and come all to the place we Johnnies call HOME, a place where the beverages are cold, the burgers juicy and the deviled eggs tantalize your taste buds prior to seeing 184 red clad fellow Johnnies take the field! It is time to get back HOME, no matter how far way you have moved, or how long it has been.

Make it a point to get HOME this weekend and every home game weekend in 2010 as we support this current crop of Johnnies. Young men such as Bone Crusher (#13), Killer (#97) Csonka (now wearing #34 vs. #4 from last season), La Crosse Lighting (#17) and without a doubt the best QB in the MIAC, JB (#9). Nicknames or not, these young men are now and forever will be one with us; they will be Johnnies and in the end we all share the same HOME.

It is the GREATEST day of the year. It is Johnnie Football Kick-off 2010. Let’s show the folks from Northwestern what it means to JOHNNIE UP!

Photo courtesy of GoJohnnies.com

While the Johnnies and the Nation that is unrivaled “enjoy” an off week (thanks to   Macalester) the rest of the Football world will be all a twitter over the return of Brett Farve to Lambeau Field. The excruciating anticipation for the Packer faithful is due to Farve continually looking to mimic a chameleon  with regard to his jersey color (and team) of choice during the previous three(3) off-seasons.

Luckily for the Johnnie Nation we do not have to worry about our own #4(Steven Johnson) ever pulling the above mentioned stunt. Or even contemplating changing uniforms with such disregard for the fans and institution said colors represent. For our #4 all that is needed is a Red and White simplistic (nowadays they call it throwback, I call it classy and understated) uniform and he is good to go!

And go is all the young Mr.  Johnson has done since he hit the turf of the Natural Bowl. There is nothing more pleasing to this fan’s eye than seeing #4 carry the ball for the 2009 Johnnies with his usual authority and determination. And the above is done all while our young Mr. Johnson exhibits nothing but a maturity that many freshman do not, both on and off the field.

On the field when he is taken to the ground( while displaying a simplistic tape job on his cleats and wrists, one wrapped line, nothing more and nothing less)  all we witness is the giving of the ball back to the Ref and Mr. Johnson trotting back to the Huddle for the next play. No over the top celebrations, no look at me gestures, just behaviors exhibited that all in the Johnnie Nation expect of their players. Why? Because our #4 knows that you do not get extra yards or points if your uniform or attitude is overly flashy. 

Off of the field Mr. Johnson displays an appreciation of attending SJU, being a Johnnie and of course jogging out onto the Turf of Clemens Stadium to the cheers the Johnnie Nation. Simply put, our #4 gets it, while that other #4 does not!

In this modern day and age it seems that we have a bit of a throwback among us! Johnnie Nation, it is quite possible we have the next coming of Larry Csonka suiting up for us on weekly basis!

So while another famous (or dare I say infamous) #4 has gained a reputation for exhibiting some egomaniacal traits while dangling his services out in front of whatever fan base he chooses (hey I am not a Viking nor a Packer fan) we can all rest assured that at SJU the young man wearing #4 for will represent the Nation in Red and White while NEVER consider tugging at our heart strings in the off season!    

He may be a freshman, but with his well chosen Jersey color(s)  #4 Steven Johnson sure as heck knows how to Johnnie Up! And he does so with class! Enjoy the Bye. See ya at the Dome as we look to go 9-0 against the Auggies( remember to wear your hat crookedly and your pants low!)

Yeah, it’s a bye week for the Jays, and you may be getting antsy. But to tell the truth, although it’s strange not to be heading off somewhere to watch our Johnnies on Saturday, this off-week comes at a very good time. Junior QB Joe Boyle reinjured his gimpy thumb in the first quarter in what should have been a breather game for St. John’s against St. Olaf. In fact, before Joe got hurt on a routine play, he had already led his offense to a quick score and presumably was on the way to another when he was yanked and in comes a frosh, #16 John Ries, QB of 2008 State 5A Champion Wayzata High.

The youngster did okay, having virtually no in-game experience before his debut, but we didn’t score anymore meaning SJU’s mighty defense had to earn their spurs once again, as we held on to a surprisingly hard-fought 10-3 victory over a very scrappy Ole squad, a team that seems much stronger than its 1-4 MIAC record, though 3-4 overall.

Highlights come down to two plays at the end of the first half when the Oles were threatening near our goal to go ahead with time running out; first, they threw a pass to their guy moving just inside the goal line on the right side for a TD pass when an SJU defender jumped in front and nearly took the ball all the way back before being tackled somewhere in the Ole 30s. And next, with less than a second remaining, senior Russ Gliadon did it again! He set a new St. John’s record with a 52-yard field goal, putting SJU up 10 to 3, this coming only three games after he sent it the first time with his game-winning 49-yard thriller over Bethel.

Near the end of the game St. Olaf was threatening once again, having driven most of the field to around our 10 or so. We were having trouble stopping them on that drive for some reason and some of us fans-in-the-stands were having visions of another nail-biting, knuckle-chewing OT game. The Oles, who showed some really questionable time management in the last two minutes, finally took two-outs in a row to discuss their final play of regulation with just a couple seconds left. It turned out to be a pass (duh!) and two of our monsters squashed the QB for a loss to remain undefeated. Boy, what a year for cliff-hangers.

We need this bye to heal up some guys, but particularly to bring our new QB up to game-time speed. In some ways it’s a deja vu flashback to last year when we were trying out three QBs for the first half of the season — the result was offensive anemia, what with the coaches calling each play, the team needing to get used to the style of each of the QBs, the offensive line unsure of what was expected, RBs unsure of blocking assignments.

This time around I think we’re in better shape — the O-Line has matured and, in the last three or four games, has come together impressively, being a key part of our victories; the backs are running and blocking with much more authority this year; and the team, having successfully responded to Boyle’s leadership, still have the nucleus intact. Our generally powerful passing attack has been muted this year though, and now with a new kid at the helm, I don’t see it improving — and not because Ries doesn’t have an arm…he does; it’s part of being in synch with his A-team receivers and that takes time and experience. It also takes receivers who help out their QB by getting themselves in the clear when originally covered — we need a lot of work on that. So don’t expect much from the offense for the next couple of games, putting all the more pressure on the defense. Just be pleasantly surprised and grateful if we can score more than a couple TDs each game remaining in the regular season.

When will Boyle return? God (and maybe his doctors) only knows, but it doesn’t look too good for the near term. Maybe, after a monastery full of novenas, Joe will miraculously heal enough by the play-offs to utilize his extra dimensions of speed and elusiveness, reading defenses, and knowledge of the offense, if they don’t bring him back too soon. But for the next game or two it’ll most likely be running. And running. And more running. So, a couple of wishes for the coaching staff: how about using ALL our running backs? The last couple of games it’s been mostly Jakob Reding and Kellen Blaser with a dollop of Steve Johnson thrown in. And one more thing: please don’t script the poor Ries kid so closely that the game bogs down…let your veterans help young John ad lib when necessary… and let your team have some FUN. When our guys have fun and are allowed to get creative, good things happen. They know what has to be done.

(Just in: “Partial tear for Boyle” by Frank Rajkowski in today’s St. Cloud Times )

Before I leave the St. Olaf game, I wanted to mention — in perusing the program roster for the Oles — that they have 25 kids from Florida, California, Oklahoma or Georgia on their 96-man squard; about half of those are freshmen or sophs. Hmmmm? I wonder what the draw is…Snow?…Ice?…Tall, Blonde, Nordic Beauties?

In the same program there is an interesting graphic showing of that 137 out of 163 members of the 2009 Johnnies are from Minnesota. Of that 137, about 50 are from Central Minnesota and maybe 60 from the Metro area. For our out-of-staters we have five from North Dakota and four from Wisconsin…and, in full disclosure, we have two from Texas and two from California. And two from that football hotbed — Alaska.

* *

Up at the tailgate John Sipe ‘61/’65 and I received a warm, friendly, nutritious welcome from a gaggle of regulars, but the headcount was down to about a third of the throng assembled for the Tommie game. Besides the great camaraderie and time to visit a little more in depth with various people, I was introduced to former Viking Stu Voight who was attending his first St. John’s game; I guess he has a business in St. Cloud and he’s in the area more often. Or something. Also Kim Devoy ‘63 waved me over to say hello to some fellows he was standing with — turns out one was my classmate Ben Grage ‘64 along with his brother Jim ‘66 and a friend of theirs, Ron Lebens UST ‘63. All of them, including Kim, hailed from Shakopee, MN in days of yore. And, just before the game was to start, I heard a man ask, “Does anyone need tickets?” Well, Sipe and I sure did, especially if they meant you get to sit down too. Our benefactor, Dave Hinman, is a salesman for Sentinel Printing in St. Cloud (which does a lot of business with SJU), who had a handful of tickets that another St. Cloud gentleman buys each year but rarely uses completely. Someone told him the tailgate was a good place to find grateful fans. Turns out these ducats were smack on the 50-yard line, about a third way up. Besides Dave’s good companionship, John and I were surrounded by other folks we knew or came to know: old St. Paul Midway neighbor Bill Farmer ‘69 right behind us and behind him superfans Donna and Dana Buttenhoff; in front of us classmate Jim Conn ‘64, wifeAnita, and two women friends who came along; and beside us were classmate Mark Sieve’s ‘64 brother Kurt, his wife Jeanne and last of their four Johnnie sons, juniorJake ‘11. Besides the Mark connection, it turns out that Kurt and Jeanne are parents to my friend and former MoCo Advertising coworker, Adam ‘03. The Conns and the Sieves routinely come down from Alexandria for the games. Although Kurt didn’t attend SJU, his brothers Mark and Jon ‘69 did, and all four of Kurt’s sons did/do: Nathan ‘99, Adam, Andrew ‘05 and Jake.

When Joe Boyle went out with his injured hand, a new QB came in. “Who’s #16?” we all asked, looking in the program. A youngish woman sitting in front of Dave turned around and said pleadingly, “He’s John Ries…and he’s my son, so please go easy on him.” It was Sue Ries and we were able to cheer him — and her — on through all the highs and lows of his debut under the gun. Before halftime I thought I’d beat the rush to the men’s room (and I did) by leaving with a couple of minutes to play. Emerging from the lav I witnessed the dramatic interception, run back and awesome field goal. And I got to say hello to another classmate, retired judge Rick Ahles ‘64 (who also has dynamite seats up higher), who proudly announced that he finally had ALL his brothers at the game with him: Pete Ahles ‘60, a retired MD from California now back in Minnesota; twins Markand Jim (both ‘76, but only Jim stayed all the way through); and Jerry, the only non-SJUer of the brothers. During halftime I visited my St. Cecilia’s homies in the next section: Tom and Kathy Awe, their two daughters Hattie and Lucy, and Tom’s siblings, brother John Awe, sister Patty Welch, her husband Neil and son Peter of TCU, all up from Houston, TX; and sister Margaret Callan. So that means in over three games I’ve met virtually all of Tom’s and Kathy’s families, most of whom have travelled from out of state to see frosh Harry play.

The La Playette segment afterward was interesting because of some people that recognized me from the photo accompanying the Underground on JohnnieFootball.com. The first was Maureen Forsythe, wife of John ‘74 and brother of Bill Sullivan ‘74. Together they own and operate Bo Diddley’s Deli, right across the street from the La. John opened his restaurant in 1981 and they’ve been going strong ever since. Long time readers may recall about four or five years ago I featured John in a cute story about how John Gagliardi (who often says that he cuts no one from the team) actually sent John a letter suggesting that he not come out for the team the next year. John has kept that letter as sort of a historical document for over 30 years. John and Maureen and I had a nice visit for a bit, made nicer when Tom Gottwalt ‘82 strolled up to say hello; he was in the deli dining with some friends from North Dakota, I think he said. John showed me a plaque in his shop that has listed the many winners of the annual “Peg & Keg Cribbage Tournament,” which he has run since1975 each February through the present. Interested alums should email John at bomosubshop@charter.net. Before I left with our sandwiches to consume in the backroom of the La, John mentioned that he runs an ad in JohnnieFootbal.com offering 50% off of any 6″ sandwich if the purchaser comes in and mentions the winning score of the game. “Either nobody’s reading my ad or they aren’t hungry,” John said. So here it is:

Back at the La, I was visiting with John Uldrich ‘60, and son Jack SJP ‘82, and John’s friend up from Plano, TX, Ann Theriault, widow of Dick ‘60, when a woman came up and asked if I was the fellow who wrote the Underground. Guilty, sez I. She introduced herself as Diana Gliadon, who with her husband Tom, just had witnessed their son Russ’ second record-setting field goal this season. They were sitting with the parents of two recent outstanding linemen grads, the Kotsmiths [Andy '09] and the Lukes[Joe '09]. John Sipe introduced me to the son of one of his condo neighbors, Patrick Heelan ‘03, a classmate of my firstborn, Megan Wicker ‘03, at both Cretin-Derham Hall and CSB/SJU. He was celebrating of sorts, having just received word that he passed his bar exam. Congrats to him.

Back at our sandwiches, Jack Uldrich was telling us about his latest book, “Coached For Life,” which he has co-written with Ed Flaherty with a foreword by John Gagliardi. The book, available at the SJU Bookstore among other places, is the account of how spiritual and other values taught to football teammates in a small Catholic high school in Montana carried over into their adult lives. John and I each acquired one of Jack’s books, but mine was pre-empted by Mark Lohmann ‘58, who taught and coached in Miles City, Montana several ages ago; I hope he remembers to return it at the Augsburg game as he promised. For more info on the book, visit www.coachedforlife.com.

We had to return to the Cities early for John’s appearance at the St. Joan of Arc Benefit and Dinner, so we didn’t get to visit too long with Noel and Clark Stanton, in from San Rafael, CA to see son John ‘11, Hilary Tomczik, wife of Gary ‘67, who was visiting from Santa Barbara, CA before going to see her ill mother in England; Mark Lewandowski, Voice of the Johnnies; Jay Cutler MUU ‘72, Ron ‘65 and Sandy Tomczik, Rosie Overman, her son Josh ‘11 and other family, some Lillys ‘55 & ‘81,Tom ‘66 and Craig Arth ‘99, Mike Laliberte ‘69 and his constant fellow Johnnie fan, Phil ‘69 (whose last name embarassingly slips me this instant), and of course, our host, innkeeper Mark Zimmer SJP ‘70.

Enjoy the Saturday off from the gridiron, but as you’ll read, there are other things going on with PaddyWagon and SJU hockey. Hope to see many of you at Hubert’s before the Auggie game, or at the Dome, or at the St. Cecilia’s Red Mass after the game.

Best wishes,

Bob Wicker SJP ‘60/SJU ‘64, St. Paul
theowick@aol.com/651-699-4697

* * * *

Re the Johnnies’ Dome Game —

* Join the Saint John’s Alumni Association and the J-Club at Hubert’s Bar and Restaurant (601 Chicago Ave., Minneapolis – across the street from the Metrodome) on Sat., Nov. 7 from 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. for a football pep rally. [Ed's Note: I'll drink to that!] Tickets will be on sale at Hubert’s for the 1 p.m. Johnnies vs. Augsburg MIAC football game in the Metrodome. No advance registration is required for this event. Bring your family and head to Hubert’s to kick off a day of Johnnie football fun!

** And, after the game, you are cordially invited to the 2nd Annual St. Cecilia’s “Red Mass” and Celebration.

Mass at 5pm and reception with light meal approximately 6:15 in the church hall. It’s an easy drive from the Dome and will be a nice, friendly and hopefully ‘filling’ time. More details next newsletter.

***ATTENTION: Just in from Tom Stock, SJU Athletic Director:

I just received a call from Dr. Paul Grauer from Augsburg. He asked that Saint John’s communicate the following information to Johnnie fans for the Johnnie / Augsburg football game in the MetroDome on Saturday, Nov. 7:

Augsburg will begin selling tickets at Gate B (located on the northeast side of the MetroDome at 10 a.m.) Doors to the MetroDome for the game will open at 11:30 .am. Kick-off is at 1 p.m. Ticket prices are $7 for adults and $3 for students with ID.

FYI, thanks, and GO JOHNNIES! ~Tom Stock

* * * *

From Paul Hamann ‘63, Edina, MN —

Hi Bob, I’ve given up on Massey and the NCAA regional rankings are out today. Just pleased we keep winning. Here’s a link for the newsletter if you’re interested. [Ed's Note:Sr. Lois Wedl and Tom Stock also sent this in.] It’s a clip on “St. John’s Football Coach Not Letting Age Stop Him“ Keep up the great work. — Paul

(Editor’s Note: In D3Football.com’s Top 25 Rankings, SJU and UST both moved up; SJU to 4th from 5th, and UST to 15th from 16. Here’s how the first six read: Mt. Union, UW-Whitewater, Wesley, St. John’s, Linfield, and Central. Interestingly, only Whitewater remains in the Top 25, although UW-Stevens Point and UW-La Crosse both received votes, as did Bethel. At one time the WIAC had three with one more close behind receiving votes. And the MIAC had three also with one close behind. See for yourself. )

* * * *

Early Predictions on Regional Rankings —

From Eric Brever ‘01, St. Paul, who delves into play-off possibilities in his column in JohnnieFootball.com —

[JohnnieFootball.com]

* * * *

2009 MIAC Standings

Through games of October 24, 2009

UPCOMING GAMES

October 31, 2009 – all at 1 PM

• Augsburg @ St. Thomas — Tommies, but a good preview of our Dome game with the Auggies.
• Bethel @ Gustavus — Royals have just too much fire power, but one can always hope.
• Carleton @ Hamline — Probably the Knights, but Hamline could surprise. Ask the Royals.
• Concordia @ St. Olaf — Best game this week…both are better than their standings; I’d say Oles most likely.

* * * *

From Mike Beck to Dusty Wagner ‘83, godfather to JohnnieFootball.com —

Good morning, Dusty – You may already be all over this but, if not, thought I’d shoot you a note and figure out how to “get ‘er done.”

If my math is correct, SJU needs to draw 8,328 fans to the final home game vs. Carleton in order to hit 50,000 fans for the season. It would be unbelievable to average 10,000 fans/game for the 5 regular season home games this year — probably establish a D-III average attendance record that would never be eclipsed.

We ought to get this challenge out on the website and start getting some traction. Thoughts? — Becks

(Editor’s Comment: Depending upon the weather and what happens at the Augsburg game (i.e, an SJU win or loss), that should be a fairly easy to do. But mid-November can present some climatical challenges that fair-weather fans might decide to sit out. This Carleton game, though, will be a tough one (given what happened last year) and I sure encourage everyone reading this who is able, geographically speaking, to come up, not only to help establish a monumental attendance record, but even more importantly, support our team at a crucial time of the year. And don’t forget, Augsburg will not be a push-over either — witness the St. Olaf game. So, for those who are able, come out to the Metrodome and make some noise for SJU on November 7.)

* * * *

‘Always Welcome News’ Department —

From Eric Chalmers ‘92, Rosemount, MN —

Mr. Wicker, I had the pleasure of introducing some very close friends of mine to SJU the weekend of the Tommie game. Below is the note my friend Jeff wrote to the AD after the weekend. I thought the readers of your fine newsletter would appreciate Jeff’s thoughts as much as I did. Needless to say, Jeff and his family came away impressed. Go SJU! — Eric

* *

Sent: Sunday, October 18, 2009 7:57 PM
To: Stock, Thomas
Subject: St. John’s Character

Mr. Stock: I am writing you to let you know of the time my family had at the game on Saturday. Very close friends of ours that attended St. John’s & St. Ben’s had told us of the setting and the environment of a Johnnies home football game. Well, we decided to go with our friends yesterday for the game against St. Thomas.

The game, the environment and everything around it was about as good as it gets until after the game when it hit a new level. As fans poured onto the field after that thrilling win, my friend suggested we take our sons out onto the field. As we were out there our sons asked several players for their autograph. This is where the character of St. John’s was magnified. Each of the players took the time to sign a program and a football for our sons age 7 and 9, but the method and manner in how they did it was of the utmost class. To a player, each of them took the time to ask our sons if they enjoyed the game, where they were from and if they wanted to be a future Johnnie.

I cannot begin to express the maturity, class and the positive role model that your players demonstrated. I’m sure they didn’t think it was big thing, but it was. A former Johnnie told me that Coach Gagliardi always said, “do the ordinary things extraordinary well” and things will be ok. The ordinary things demonstrated by the players yesterday were really extraordinary.

Mr. Stock, in this day and age of needed character it is very reassuring to know the future is very bright. Please pass on my sincere thanks to the players and to Coach Gagliardi. He won more than just a ball game yesterday, his players helped to win over some future Johnnies as well.

My first trip to St. John’s was a memory that will last a life time for me and my family. All the best to you and to your University. Sincerely, Jeff Shaffer

(Editor’s Comment: Thanks, Eric, for taking the time to share this very nice, affirming message from your friend, Jeff. Generally, St. John’s and St. Bens’ attracts young people who find the hospitality and openness of our Benedictine communities an appealing part of their college selection process…and then, once here, begin through osmosis or whatever to project the same values to others when they can. Go Johnnies, Go Blazers!)

* * * *

From Al Richie SJP ‘60/UST ‘64, Wayzata, MN —

There were two recent graduates of St. Cloud State University who were going into business for themselves in a rental storefront on St. Germain Street in downtown St. Cloud. Sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store, they looked around their space. As yet, the store wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves set up.

One Husky said to the other, “I’ll bet any minute now some damn Johnny is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.”

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious St. John’s student in a red sweatshirt walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, “What are you sellin’ here?”

One of the men replied sarcastically, “We’re selling a$$holes.”

Without skipping a beat, the Johnny said, “Must be doing well… Only two left.”

* * * *

The Assault on Tailgating —

A fun article forwarded by Dusty Wagner ‘83:
[espn.com]

(Editor’s Further Thought: Gee, maybe I shouldn’t put this in the UUN and give Life Services any more ideas.)

* * * *

There was this graduate of the University of St. Thomas who was down on his luck in Las Vegas. He had gambled away all his money and had to borrow a dime from another gambler just to use the men’s room.

The stall happened to be open, so the Tommy used the dime in a slot machine and hit the jackpot. He took his winnings to the poker tables and turned his small winnings into ten million dollars. Now wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, he went on the lecture circuit telling his incredible story. He always told his audiences, “I am eternally grateful to my benefactor, If I ever find that man I will share my fortune with him.”

Finally, after one of his lectures, a man in the audience came up to our Tommy and said, “I’m the benefactor you’re looking for. I was the one who gave you the dime.”

“Oh, no…not you,” explained the Tommy, shaking his head, “I’m looking for the guy who left the stall door open.”

* * * *

College football: Defense keeps SJU unbeaten

by Frank Rajkowski, St. Cloud Times

COLLEGEVILLE — With the St. John’s offense struggling to score points and starting quarterback Joe Boyle on the sidelines with an injured thumb, it was left to the Johnnies defense to come up with big plays Saturday afternoon.

And time and time again in a 10-3 victory over St. Olaf, that’s exactly what they did.

The defense recorded three turnovers — including a huge interception that cornerback Mike Bonynge returned 66 yards to set up a school-record 52-yard field goal by Russell Gliadon to end the first half — as the Johnnies (6-0 MIAC, 8-0 overall) remained unbeaten before a crowd of 9,101 at Clemens Stadium. (Read more)

* * * *

SJU college football: Gliadon sets new mark

by Frank Rajkowski, St. Cloud Times

COLLEGEVILLE — When Russell Gliadon set a school-record with a 49-yard field goal in the closing seconds to beat Bethel on Oct. 3, he expected the record to stand for some time.

He certainly didn’t expect to break it himself just three weeks later. But that’s just what happened Saturday when the St. John’s senior booted a 52-yarder with under a second to play in the first half as the Johnnies beat St. Olaf 10-3 at Clemens Stadium. (Read more)

* * * *

DeLand column: Johnnies’ ‘D’ does the dirty work

by St. Cloud Times sports editor Dave DeLand

COLLEGEVILLE — Human nature being what it is, it would have been awfully easy for the members of the St. John’s football team to get as excited about Saturday’s game and opponent as they would get about taking out the garbage or washing their skivvies. (Read more)

* * * *

St. John’s 10, St. Olaf 3

Scoring and Stats
[The St. Cloud Times]

* * * *

College football: Blaser carving out spot with SJU

by Frank Rajkowski, St. Cloud Times
[The St. Cloud Times]

* * * *

MIAC Football Week Six: SJU Holds Top; Auggies Win a Wild One

by Rich Mies SJP ‘76/UST ‘80, CSN Mapping the MIAC Columnist

Saint John’s held onto its lead in the battle for the Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference championship with a 10-3 win over St Olaf. St. Thomas kept pace by downing Carleton, 48-28. Concordia notched its first win in MIAC play with a 41-21 hammering of Hamline and Augsburg took control of fourth place with a 28-21 squeaker over Gustavus. (Read more)

* * * *

Hot time in the Old Town Friday Night —

From Tim Flynn ‘91, St. Paul —

Hi Bob – You asked me for a reminder of the next time our group gets together: PaddyWagon plays this Friday, October 30th at 9:00 at the Dubliner Pub on University and Vandalia in St. Paul, right off I-94. The group is made up of me (SJU ’91) on guitar, mandolin, banjo and vocals, as well as Mark Bortscheller (SJU ’90) on bass, and four other non-SJU guys (Kevin Galligan - vocals & trumpet, Kevin O’Brien – vocals and harmonica, Joe Defoe – Guitar, and Dave Russell - Fiddle…rest assured none of them are Tommies). Thanks for the plug – we look forward to seeing you there! — Tim

(Editor’s Note & Invitation: Won’t you join me, your intrepid Johnny/Benny-backing editor, in taking in a set or two with Tim and his boyos this Friday. I’m going to be there by 8:30pm so I can be sure to get a seat at a table. And I usually pimp out around 11:00 or so. But I hope some of you Celtic (and other genres, like folk, rock, country, Dixieland) music lovers will join me, since we don’t have a game the next day. [Full disclosure: Tim is the son of my classmate and friend, George Flynn '64, but that's not why I'm plugging them...they're very good and lots of fun. No cover, either.]

PaddyWagon “Irish Music with a Twang” plays about 7-8 times a year, mainly at the Dubliner Pub, but occasionally at Shamrocks, O’Gara’s and every memorial day weekend at Madden’s! Their website is www.paddywagon.net and the full schedule can be found there. Upcoming shows at the Dubliner after this Friday are Saturday, November 28th, and Saturday, December 19th if you can’t join me this week.)

* * * *

SJU Hockey —

Alumni Game and MIAC Showcase
by Doug Schueller, Head Hockey Coach

I would like to report that the 2009 SJU Hockey Alumni game was another success and that approximately 25 alumni showed up to play with about 20 stopping over for a BBQ at my house after the game. I hope to continue growing this event in years to come. I almost forgot to mention that the current team got their first win of the season defeating the SJU Alumni by a score of 10-7.

I also want to inform all of you that we have our 2009 MIAC Showcase this weekend with 3 games at 2-5-8 each day. These games will all be played at the Bloomington Ice Garden and should be a great promotion for our league. The Johnnies play at 2pm on Saturday against St. Mary’s and then again on Sunday at 8pm against the Tommies. You can also see the entire schedule below.

Friday, October 30th:

2:00 p.m. Augsburg vs. Bethel
5:00 p.m. St. Thomas vs. Saint Mary’s
8:00 p.m. St. Olaf vs. Hamline

Saturday, October 31st:

2:00 p.m. Saint Mary’s vs. Saint John’s
5:00 p.m. Concordia vs. St. Olaf
8:00 p.m. Bethel vs. Gustavus

Sunday, November 1st:

2:00 p.m. Hamline vs. Concordia
5:00 p.m. Gustavus vs. Augsburg
8:00 p.m. Saint John’s vs. St. Thomas

Ticket prices are just $5.00 for everyone attending (children 5 and under free). One ticket gets you access to all games on that particular day. Methods of payment include cash or check (written out to the “MIAC”). No credit cards will be accepted.

Come support your team, mingle with alumni and friends, and support the guys as they begin the 2009-2010 hockey season.

I hope to see you this weekend, Doug

* * * *

Nutrition Bites

By Lindsay Good ‘06, RD, LD

Eating Healthy for Less

What costs more? Eating healthy or poorly? Most would guess that eating healthy costs more, but it doesn’t have to. It’s true that out-of-season blueberries are expensive and a lunch of grilled salmon and spinach salad will cost more than a Happy Meal. But it’s also true that by making smart choices, you will not only improve your health and lose weight, you can also save enough money at the same time.

Try these cost-effective changes:

1. Choose raw over processed foods. In general, the less processed a food, the more nutritious and less expensive it is.
2. Bag your snacks. 100 calorie packs are convenient but you’re paying for the packaging. Buy snack-size baggies and portion out your own snacks.
3. Save on produce. Apples, oranges, bananas, carrots, and cabbage are affordable year round. Produce can be expensive if you’re buying them out of season. Frozen fruit and veggies are also an inexpensive, healthy choice.
4. Buy in bulk. Get oatmeal, rice, nuts, dried fruit, and other dry goods in bulk. Join Costco or Sam’s Club and split purchases with friends or family to save in the end.
5. Try generic. Store brands often cost less, but the quality may not be the same. Buy only the brand-name products that are worth the extra cost.
6. Go meatless. Substitute beans twice a week and you’ll save hundreds of dollars a year and consume less of the unhealthy fats.
7. Eat in. About 47.5 percent of the average American’s food dollar is spent in restaurants. Replace the McDonald’s bag with a brown bag and bring your lunch to work.

The bottom line? You don’t have to be wealthy to eat healthy. Pound for pound, you’ll pay less for raw foods like rice or fresh fruits than for processed, canned or frozen foods like chips and chocolate-chip muffins. With a little planning you can save money and calories.

* * * *

Two middle-aged friends, a St. John’s alum and a UST grad, played golf together one day at the Johnny’s country club. Just before they teed off on the 12th hole, they stopped to buy cold drinks from the beautiful young woman driving the beverage cart. As the Johnny reached for his wallet, he flirted with her a bit, saying to her, “You’re in great shape. You must work out a lot.”

Flattered, she gave him an enormous smile and gushed, “Oh, thank you so much!”

The Tommy was very much impressed with both his Johnny pal’s charm and the young lady’s enthusiastic response and, to himself, vowed to act more like his Johnny chum around the young ladies.

The next weekend, the Tommy was with a group of his UST classmates at a different course. At the 10th tee was another lovely young woman driving the beverage cart. He decided to show off in front of his Purple fellows. “Watch this,” he whispered to his foursome. He walked up to the cart and said, “You’re in great shape. You must work out a lot.”

“Yeah,” she replied dryly. “You oughtta try it yourself.”

* * * *

* * * *

Instant & Brief UUN Feedback —

From John Taylor ‘58, SJU Institutional Advancement, on the lateness in the day of the last issue:

…about time; I have been missing my nap waiting!

From C.J. Ross ‘64, San Diego —

This is OUTSTANDING — What a “shot”!!! You are the best. — C J

From Sister Lois Wedl OSB, St. Benedict’s Monastery —

What a fantastic picture. Thanks, Bob. — Lois

From mí SJP/U compadre, John Sipe SJP ‘61/SJU ‘65, St. Paul —

Great work, my man. — js

From Bill Draves ‘64, Dry Hole, AZ —

Wick, From afar (far away and very warm!), it seems like this football season has not been for the faint of heart! I wonder, he wondered, what the rest of the year holds — especially in the playoffs!

Sorry I missed the trio of [Paul] Judge, [George Flynn] Flynner and [George] McKenzie. There are a lot of stories there! They should tell you about their trip to Russia. — Bill

* * * *

(And speaking of this trio):
From Paul Judge ‘64, Encinitas, CA —

Bob, Thanks for the note. Yes, the three of us were there [a visit to SJU and the Guest House] inquiring about the possibility of entering the monastery as decrepit geezers in seek of salvation. We thought there would be a break in price if we entered under the “buddy system.” We were soundly turned down. All was not lost though as there was a Tommy-Johnny game the same weekend, which we enjoyed immensely. Hope all’s well with you and your family. Sincerely, Paul

* * * *

From Mollie Mulheran Raih ‘65, Edina, MN —

Hi Bob, Saw your friend Fr. Mike Byron ['81] last eve! — Mollie

(Editor’s Note: I took that opportunity to personally invite Mollie and her Tommie ‘65 hubby Dr. Tom Raih to the St. Cecilia “Red Mass” for Johnnies, Bennies and friendly Tommies on Saturday, Nov. 7, beginning at 5 p.m., after the Johnnie-Auggie game at the Dome. Fr. Mike will be presiding. I now personally invite all of you too.)

(Mollie’s Quick Response

Thanks, Bob! We will be in the Holy Land…praying for you, while you pray for us…please:)

* * * *

From John Maas ‘58, Hudson, WI —

The picture was perfect and it was good to see that some 1958 Johnnies were cheering them on. Good luck tomorrow! — John

* * * *

From Colleen Lilly ‘81, Edina, MN —

Hi Wicker, Thanks for the Underground. My sister [Mary Wozniak '87] sent it to me so I will put it in my email log and hopefully I will continue to receive it!! See you Sat! — Colleen

* * * *

From Gary Kordosky ‘64, Tucson, AZ —

Wick – great picture, greater newsletter. I looked at the picture and it became obvious the would-be Tommy tackler was slowed down by the weight of the ink in his tattoos. cheers, gary

* * * *

From John Uldrich ‘60, Minneapolis —

Bob: great UUN! That pic should go along way . . .

See you at the game – will introduce you to Ann Theriault from Plano TX. Her husband, Dick ‘60 was a two-year Johnnie; made the first tour of the Marines in Vietnam flying an H34 Helicopter – spent ten years flying for Air America in and out of Laos. Passed out of the picture about 32 years ago. [May he RIP.] Ann and I have been seeing each other over the past two years. She has fond memories of SJU in the 60’s. — J.

P.S. will be in town for the ‘rouge et noir’ event on the 7th!

(Editor’s Note: John is the “godfather” of JohnnieBrats™, developed from his special recipe and produced for him, thus far, by the St. Joe Meat Market; John intends profits from this venture to go to The Record, of which he was an editor in 1959. He’s looking to franchise the brand so Johnnies all over the country can enjoy the taste. People attending St. Cecilia’s Red Mass and Reception on November 7th will taste these North Woods delicacies served now by John himself.)

* * * *

Intercepted email from C.J. Lyngen ‘92 to Ryan Heining ‘91 at 9:45 Saturday a.m. —

Ryan, Are you up here yet? I’m in Quad 254 with my girls working on their homework. I think we discovered a new routine — Get up to Collegeville @ 8/8:30 work on homework, then hit Stiftungfestivities. Go Johnnies! — C.J.

(And a reply, not from Ryan, but David Lukinac ‘92, Bayside, WI, who apparently was suffering through the Gopher loss to OSU.) —

Can a graduate with such stature as yourself have a brewski in Quad 254? Hope the Johnnies can do better than the gophers are at OSU? — luke

* * * *

From John Diffley ‘64, Stewartville, MN —

Bob,

You are a true English major! An off-week on the horizon — whatever will you write about? I can hardly wait for the next issue. Here’s my promised report on Ole Radio:

I tuned in the Ole station (KDHL Northfield/Faribault) and I will have to say that I was disappointed as the announcer was not the usual one who puts so much local color into the color portion of the play-by-play. It was so matter of fact that I went back to Relevant Radio and listened to Mark L. and Co. [Mark Lewandowski, Byran Backes, Mike Carr, Charlie Carr]. Those Norwegians (and Florida imports) always manage to make a game of it. Let’s hope the two week breather and a novena will put the war-wounded back into readiness. That poor Gunderson [All-American senior Nick Gunderson with reinjured leg] saw his best years as an underclassman. The only positive note is that there are usually five fellows lined up behind every starter to prove that they can do the job even better than the annointed can…what a motivator John [Gagliardi] is just by his presence.

…and that damn Sid Hartman will drone on for hours on end about those eternal do-nothings at the U. I remember one time somebody called in and said that maybe the U should schedule St. John’s and Sid immediately immediately shot back caustically by saying, “St. John’s would have no business on the same field as the U of M.” At the time I thought — “Yes, Sid, you might be right, but the U of M would have no business being in the same classroom as the Johnnies.” Enough of my droning. Thanks, John

* * * *

From the earthy Suzie Gooding, wife of Bruce ‘69, Durham, NC —

It’s been quite a while since we were camping. Seems there have been some new and exciting items available to those who like the great outdoors…Just when you think that you have everything packed in the camper they find some new gadget! — Suzie

* * * *

Restaurant Quickie, #1 —

Diner: Waiter, why is that alley cat staring at me through the restaurant window?

Waiter: Oh, it’s because you’re using the plate we usually feed him on.

* * * *

Restaurant Quickie, #2 —

A man walks into a French restaurant and asks the waiter, “Do you serve snails here?”

“Ah, but of course!”

“Okay, I’ll have the steak, and my little friend here will have the garden salad.”

* * * *

Restaurant Quickie, #3 —

A piece of string walks into the La Playette and orders a beer. Owner Mark Zimmer eyes him carefully and says, “Are you a piece of string?”

“Why yes, I am.”

“Well, we don’t serve pieces of string here.”

With that Mark throws the string out the door. The string picks himself up, dusts himself off, ties himself into a knot and frays one of his ends. He walks back into the bar again.

“I’ll have a beer, please.”

“Say,” says Mark, “aren’t you that piece of string I just threw OUTTA HERE?”

“No, I’m a frayed knot.”

* * * *

Thought for The Week —

“The thought manifests as the word;
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character;
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings…
As the shadow follows the body,
As we think, so we become.”

— Buddha

* * * *

Uh-Oh… Trouble in Paradise? (Continued) —

From Bob Christensen ‘62, Minneapolis —

Bob…I concur with Murph’s “complaint-in-alliteration” regarding the always annoying audible advertizing at the SJU home football games….Bob

(then Bob, a semi-retired physician, sent another message)

Bob…there is a thought-provoking and somewhat alarming article in the October 19th issue of The New Yorker magazine titled “Offensive Play” by Malcolm Gladwell, which describes new medical research suggesting an apparent increased incidence of chronic traumatic encephalopathy (a type of dementia) occurring in not only NFL players, but also in high school and college players—esp. lineman and also at a relatively young age…I have sent a copy of the article to Gag and thought you and possibly your readers might also be interested…most of us either played football or have had family members who played or are still playing football….Bob

* *

From Maxwell Stein ‘04, Anoka, MN (and sometimes Naples, FL) —

Theo: Mike Murphy hit the nail on the head last week in his write-in to the UUN. The in-game experience has drastically fallen off in recent years as it has become ever more commercialized. Is it really necessary to have 87 announcements to check out the press box for the new Rhino Deck? What about the constant barrage of “turn to such and such page in your Johnnie GameDay program to see if your page is stamped in red to win…” The new Bose speakers mounted on the Press Box must be cranked up, because it is damn near impossible to have any sort of meaningful conversation with the person next to you during the game. And God forbid they have some sort of hearing impairment.

Isn’t there a better way to give Johnnie football sponsors value? What about creating revenue streams in other areas (perhaps a $10/game ticket for the reserved seats or an exclusive tailgating lot with a parking pass good for all home games at a flat fee of $50 or so for the season)? I just think these things need to be looked at in the offseason. You wouldn’t believe many of the off-color remarks I am hearing in the stands where people are continually growing more tired of hearing the same monotonous plugs week after week. Theo, it is a real problem. People are turned off by the overwhelming bombardment of commercialization at Johnnie Football games. I actually think they are on the verge of a backlash (where the advertising has the reverse effect of its obvious intended purpose). By that I mean, people will go out of their way to NOT support the Johnnie football advertisers as a way to speak with their wallet.

SJU has tried (and some may argue succeeded) in becoming a Faux-Division 1 program in the name of the almighty dollar. The game experience has certainly NOT improved proportionally speaking. I realize it that SJU needs income for its athletic progams, but the in-game advertising is way over the top. At what point is enough, enough? I am a firm believer that the advertising both audibly and visually at Clemens Stadium is way past the point of saturation.

Cheers, Max Stein, Official SW Florida Hurricane Correspondent of the Underground News

* *

From Jim Marrin SJP ‘60/ SJU ‘64, St. Cloud —

Bob: Kudos to Mike Murphy for his comments in the last UUN regarding an issue that has long angered and saddened me, namely, the rampant crass commercialism that has come to characterize Johnnie football.

I have been a Johnnie football fan since 1956 when I attended my first game as a freshman at St. John’s Prep. Except for my years in the U.S. Navy, I have hardly missed a home game in all that time. I remember a time when the stadium PA system was used sparingly and then only to call the game or otherwise enhance fan enjoyment. I also remember when Sports Illustrated named St. John’s one of the top ten places in the country to watch a college football game.

Since then, we have seen massive infusions of money into improving stadium infrastructure from generous donors like Bill Clemens and many others. And yet if Sports Illustrated were to visit the campus today, I would not be surprised to see St. John’s listed as one of the worst places in the nation to watch a college football game.

Why? We now have a “premier and enhanced” marketing program, one of the best if not the best in Division III, or so we are told. Our “premier and enhanced” marketing program consists of — how to best describe it — bombarding players and fans with incessant ads, giveaways, and pleas to “support our advertisers” over the stadium PA system. It is loud, intrusive, continuous and obnoxious.

Example 1: “Turn to page 3 of your Johnnie Game Day Program. If you see ‘Go Johnnies’ stamped in red, you’ve just won (insert here – a pizza, T-shirt, beverage cooler, etc.).” In protest and as a matter of principle, I have stopped buying Johnnie Game Day Programs.

Example 2: “If you’re the lucky fan sitting in (section, row, seat), you’ve just won (etc., etc., etc.)”

Benedictine hospitality is everywhere on campus, everywhere except within the confines of Clemens Stadium. It stops at the gate. Within the stadium, there is no way to converse, no way to enjoy the camaraderie of friends and classmates, no way to enjoy the game, no way even to think. I leave every game with a splitting headache.

If St. John’s doesn’t stop this inanity, this ugly advertising freight train, and soon, I for one will vote with my feet. I will stop buying season tickets and stop attending home games. If enough fed-up fans do the same, then maybe one day St. John’s will find itself with the worst football attendance record in Division III and the generosity of people like Bill Clemens will all have been for naught. — Jim

* *

From Jim Conn ‘64, Alexandria, MN —

Hi Bob – Good to visit with you at the Stiftungsfestivities – those deviled eggs are the greatest! [Ed's Note: Yes they are! Thanks again to Aimee Wagner for her weekly treats.] The Blaser touchdown photo you pasted into the UUN came through fabulously and actually clarified the confusion of that moment because the OT touchdown was obscured from our seats on the 50 yard line due to the SRO crowd & wound up Johnny faithful trying to get a view of whether Blaser had crossed the goal line. I predict that Ryan Ward’s photo of that moment will live in Johnnie football annals for a long, long time. Thanks for publishing it.

On another topic dear to my heart was the mention by Mike Murphy of the earsplitting confusion thrown at us by the rap-level decibel setting of the PA system. Over the years I’ve become seriously hearing-challenged and am now on my third set of hearing aids over the past 10 years (ten years ago I was too embarrassed to have even mentioned hearing aids but that’s what age, maturity and peers in similar circumstances will do to you). For those of us hearing-challenged the PA system turns about 50% of the 4-hour afternoon into a cacophony of unbelievable duress — impossible to carry on conversations with old and new friends alike, impossible to listen to a headset radio in an effort to deduce what is happening on the field — and turns a premier Johnny sporting event that should be energizing and enjoyable into a challenging effort to remain engaged. After dutifully looking for the proverbial red stamp in my program over the past several years now, I’ve stopped doing it, both for revenge and because I think the chances of SJU beating Mount Union are better than me seeing a red stamp in my game-day program. Regards, Jim

* *

From Todd Mueller ‘74, Arden Hills, MN —

Hi Bob, Regarding the St. John’s P.A. Announcer at the Tommie Game…

I (and at least a half dozen fans around me) agree with one of your reader’s comments that the hawking of the announcer was incessant and incredibly irritating. Not only that, but it was embarrassing too. Here we’re witnessing a thriller of a game and totally caught up in the excitement, when once more, deep into the 4th quarter, we were interrupted in our conversations of potential strategies and asked to “turn to page fifty-six in our program and if our book has a stamp on that page we’ve won a water mug” courtesy of some local CPA firm. Yikes.

It was like the guys in the box were at a different game. Hello? Does anyone care? I have no problem with the volume of the speakers, or even the promotions themselves (note to staff: please get a Best Buy employee who can actually speak), but cool it on the number of announcements especially at the end of the game!

SJU might have the best sports marketing program in Div 3, but one of the tenets of effective marketing is knowing when to say enough. Enough. — Todd

(Editor’s Comment: Yikes! Mr. Murphy has unleashed some very strong pent-up feelings. Other than some intemperate comments about Tommies, I haven’t seen anything like this depth of aggravation in the 15+ years I’ve been laboring with the Underground News.

It appears to me there are four distinct problems outlined above: loudness of the new speakers; number and frequency of ads; the idea of such overt commercialization of a small college football game in the first place; and interruption of action for non-sports-related announcements. Or, perhaps to sum it all up, too darn much talking about things that aren’t related to SJU football.

Note to Sports Marketing: Better take a look at your game day ad format for next season before 2 or 3,000 fans (or more) stand up and yell, “We’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore!” Mr. Stein’s suggestion of looking for new ways to make up for possible lost ad revenue seems like a winner.)

* * * *

Top Ten Signs — How bad is our economy?

The economy is so bad that…

10. If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant “you” or “them.”

9. The Mafia is now laying off judges, and Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen.

8. Yesterday, I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

7. I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”

6. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

5. “Hot Wheels” and “Matchbox” stocks are trading higher than GM.

4. McDonald’s is introducing the ‘Quarter Ouncer’.

3. Parents in Beverly Hills have had to fire their nannies and learn their kids’ names.

2. Motel Six won’t leave the light on for you any more.

And the Number One sign of our bad economy:

1. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

* * * *

INNER PEACE —

by Sister Lois Wedl OSB, St. Benedict’s Monastery

Inner Peace: This is so true

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

Then You Are Probably…The Family Dog!

And you thought I was going to get all spiritual.

(Editor’s Comment: Yep…they sure don’t make nuns like they used to.)

* * * *

And speaking of Sister Lois, take a look at this wonderful Halloween treat she sent some of us; for those with young children and grandchildren, it’s a real kick:

[www.cubpack81.com]

* * * *

English Majors’ Corner. . .Halloween Division —

1. Impress your English teacher this year with a poet costume.
2. Vampire Poems
3. The Graves of Poets

* * * *

The Unofficial Underground News’ OB-GYN Corner —

(Answering questions that Bennies and others might have about pregnancy and childbirth)

Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q: Does labor cause hemorrhoids?
A: Labor causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q: Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A: In your breasts.

Q: Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A: Yes, baby lips.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

* * * *

From Fr. Don Talafous’s e-newsletter received yesterday (Wednesday) I was saddened to learn that Troy Fritz ‘88, Executive Director of University Relations, Institutional Advancement at St. John’s, is moving on to become Development Director for St. Cloud Cathedral High School on Nov 2. I heartily concur with Don when he says, “We will miss Troy’s energy, positive spirit, even temper and patience!” Our best to Troy in his new pursuits at Cathedral where he’ll join Mike Mullin, who left the Prep School’s Development and Alum Relations spot to become the new President of Cathedral. What are we…a farm team for CHS? Incidentally, if you’re not yet on Fr. Don’s email list and would so desire, please email him at DTalafous@csbsju.edu and ask to receive his newsletter.

* * * *

From Pete Gareri ‘62, Plymouth, MN —

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. “Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she said.

A little girl raises her hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.”

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

‘Well’, she began, “I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!”

“That must’ve been scary,” said the teacher.

“It sure was,” said the little girl. “My kitty raised her back, went ‘Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Ffffff!,’ but before she could say ‘F**k!,’ the Rottweiler ate her!”

The teacher had to leave the room.

* * * *

Fourth Annual ‘Polidazzle’ —

From Matt Lindstrom ‘92, Sartell, MN, Associate Professor of Political Science and Director, The Eugene J. McCarthy Center for Public Policy and Civic Engagement

You’re invited to the 4nd Annual “Polidazzle: Students and Alums in Politics and Policy”
Thursday, December 3, 2009 — 5:30 p.m.-7:30 p.m.
The News Room, 990 Nicollet Ave, Minneapolis (at Tenth Street), (612) 343-0073

Polidazzle is a networking event for CSB/SJU students, alums, staff and faculty interested in public policy and civic life, sponsored by The Eugene J. McCarthy Center. This reception offers an excellent opportunity for current students to meet alumnae/i who are active in civic and political life as professionals or volunteers. Feel free to invite other alums you know.

Polidazzle is a two hour open house reception with complimentary drinks and abundant hors d’oeuvres and takes place along the Holidazzle parade route. SAVE THE DATE and RSVP SOON….

Please RSVP to Stacy Penk, Coordinator of the McCarthy Center for Public Policy and Civic Engagement at CSB/SJU. RSVP to Email: spenk@csbsju.edu Phone: (320) 363 3266

* * * *

(And Speaking of “alums who are active in civic and political life”…)

An excerpt from “Commentary from Dave Durenberger” regarding how large banks are screwing over the American public in his e-newsletter from the National Institute of Health Policy:

TOO BIG TO CARE

Wells Fargo used to be a nice Minneapolis bank called Norwest where a young banker named Richard Kovacevich got his start and sailed west as Wells Fargo. Kovacevich recently passed his baton to John Stumpf, a boy who was raised up in Pierz, MN. So I make certain assumptions about local and small town boys. Like they think about their mom and dad and neighbors in small towns before they take advantage of ordinary folks.

We all know that millions of middle class Americans are drowning in credit card debt for which they may well be responsible. Leave out the enticements and the unsolicited promises that reeled them in. In light of the near-collapse of America’s financial system, and the taxpayer bailout engineered by Wall Street and its Washington, D.C., farm team, came limits on credit card interest increases.

Wells Fargo beat the deadline for congressional enforcement by jacking up its rates. I was tempted to call my St. John’s Prep School classmate, Floribert Spanier, from Pierz, whose daughter is married to John Stumpf. Flip, as we have always called Spanier, retired a few years ago as president and CEO of the Catholic Aid Association, a fraternal financial association that, I suspect, was much more understanding of their “members.”

(Editor’s Note to Dave: As they’d say down South about the speedy interest raising, “Wey-ll, son, that’s cuz bidness is bidness.”)

(Additional Editor’s Note: Dave Durenberger SJP ‘51/SJU ‘55 writes a lively, interesting and often blunt column on national, political and health policy (monthly I think); If you wish to SUBSCRIBE to Dave’s commentary, please send an email to nihp@stthomas.edu with the subject line “Subscribe Commentary”. Also, Flip Spanier SJP ‘51/SJU ‘55 and his wife Patricia Welle Spanier, who live in Roseville, MN, have four children, three of whom went to SJU/CSB: Ruth Spanier Stumpf ‘76 (San Francisco), Doug ‘83 (a musician in St. Paul), and Maria Spanier Stinnett ‘87, North Oaks, MN.)

* * * *

Red Tie Gala, Advance Notice —

The 3rd Annual SJU Red Tie Gala will be held February 5, 2010, at the Northland Inn in Brooklyn Park, MN. If you’ve been meaning to go and put it off for the first two years, now’s the time to act: Register online at gojohnnies.com (go to J-Club link), or call Heidi Goebel at 320-363-2591.

Price of $75 includes dinner and entertainment ($50 for alums of 2007, 2008 & 2009); besides most of the coaches, this year we have as special guest Jared the Magician coming off his grand performance in the CSB/SJU Fine Arts Series.

RSVP Deadline: January 25, 2010. Silent auction items welcome. All proceeds support the Johnnie athletic programs.

* * * *

The Last Word —

The young Scottish lad decided to try living in Australia. He found an apartment and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Scotland to see how her son was doing in his new life.

“I’m fine, but there are some really strange people livin’ here in Australia. One woman cries all day long, another lies on the floor moaning. And the guy next door bangs his head on the wall all the time.”

“Well, me wee laddie,” says his mother, “I suggest you don’t associate with people like that.”

“Oh, I don’t, Ma’am, I don’t. No, I just stay inside me apartment all day and night playin’ me bagpipes.”

* * * *

That’s it, folks…and believe me, that’s quite enough.

God Bless Us Johnnies and Bennies, Every One.
(with apologies to Charles Dickens)

As the most widely read contributor to this website you may have been surprised to see my writing partner TouchDownTommy, AKA Nacho Libre, posting first thing Monday in place of my typical early morning composition.

As a budding college football observer, TDT is finding his niche among the writers at JohnnieFootball.com and was in creative mode following his attendance at the Cobber game Saturday on the UST campus. 

With stubby pencil in hand our junior writer did a thorough job recording the UST Homecoming events and also managed to start a bit of controversy on the D3Football.com message boards with his less than complimentary description of those in attendance.

Not that TDT was critical of those in attendance, just the number of folks who decided to show up. 

For the record and for all the hardcore Johnnie fans that show up consistently for games, we take none of this dedication for granted.  For the unbelievable numbers that make the trek to Collegeville and establish St. John’s as the attendance leader in Division III football, we salute you.

What must be considered seriously however is a St. Thomas football team that’s burning for a signature win in a season that may also deliver a conference championship and postseason play to their university and second year coach Glenn Caruso.

My absence from Monday morning “Paydirt with DustySJU” was a brief departure from the Johnnie football Saturdays I practice ritually.  Instead of Veek and Johnnie Red’s selection of bratwurst, pork patties and Stiftungsfest, I was having my own “Jager-fest” four hours northwest of the metroplex.

This past weekend was also spent attempting to connect with the college football world via dialup and AM radio while prepping the Hacienda Del Mar for it’s winter nap. 

A few passes around the lake Friday and Saturday afternoon snagging jumbo perch and northern pike was a perfect respite before the important stretch run beginning with the Toms this weekend.  The quick departure from my Saturday habit also gave TDT the opportunity to go live Monday morning, catch my many readers by surprise and introduce them to his own impending superstardom.

No one’s accusing the staff at JohnnieFootball.com of challenging the A-Man, Austin Murphy, college football’s premier writer, but we sure are having fun pretending.  You can catch The A-Man’s genius insight weekly in Sports Illustrated Magazine.

One thing we don’t pretend about however is the tradition of Johnnie football, the faithful fans and readers that take interest in the point of view presented here and most importantly, we don’t pretend about the real challenge St. John’s University faces this Saturday.

From the Johnnie photographers showing up and providing a glimpse into the game and pregame activity, to the team of writers consistently making deadline to the webmaster who glues it all together, we applaud you our fans. 

We also thank the advertisers who believe enough in what we do to help support the JohnnieFootball.com site.  The team at JohnnieFootball.com is proud of what we do and proud to do it on behalf of our fans and our team.

We’ll be even prouder come Saturday when our boys stop another challenger dead in their tracks.

With all that going on, Saturday seems like a distant memory at this point.  The Johnnies and Royals combined for numerous mistakes which prevented either team from separating themselves from the other.  The Johnnies stormed back to overcome a 14-0 4th quarter deficit including a late missed extra point from Russell Gliadon.  The 49 yarder to win the game with 2.8 seconds left has become a YouTube instant classic with over 42 thousand views.  The spontaneous excitement expressed in the voice of Johnnie Football, Mark Lewandowski, makes this video one you want to watch multiple times as a Johnnie fan.

The Johnnies face Hamline this weekend in St. Paul.  The Pipers have been an annual doormat in the MIAC for a long time.  It is hard to get excited about the game while as a fan having the luxury to look ahead to the Tommies on October 17th.  An enormous crowd (10K+), as always, is expected in Collegeville for that matchup.  Here’s hoping that the Tommies can sneak by the Cobbers this Saturday allowing them to come to St. John’s undefeated!!!!